Finishing breast feeding, but when?

[PeanutBean]

Hi all, just venting, or maybe sort of sharing, a little. I've been cutting down Byron's feeds since 6 months when we started weaning. I had intended to finish breast feeding by the end of June and we now have only one feed at bedtime with his other milk feeds replaced (edit: with non-BM!). He's having 3 full meals a day plus supper and sometimes a snack at mid afternoon. But this last feed is proving difficult to give up, for me I mean! I'm just torn. I really wanted to have finished feeding (for purely selfish reasons) by the summer for the stupid reason that I couldn't bear the thought of wireless bras! I'm an E cup normally and man, those wireless bras aren't half sweaty and horrid and shapeless! But now I'm adjusted to one feed I'm fine wearing my old wired bras anyway as they all fit well again. But it's kind of annoying having this one feed. But he's so sweet when he's feeding and I know it's best for him to keep BF as long as possible. But then his latch has become abominable because he's used to eating food and drinking from cups now. But I love being close to him that way, though when he has a bottle we cuddle really close and he gazes into my eyes. I really want to get through the finishing feeding piling up of milk. DH and I are booked on a hot air balloon flight on 15th July and for some reason I feel I want to have come through the other side of this by then, perhaps it's like marking a new chapter of being me again.

Bah...I don't know what to do...

 

[Mervs Mum]

Do you mean you want him off milk altogether? Until he's 12 months old he should still be having some milk - either BM or formula. Sorry if I'm reading your post wrong BTW

 

[PeanutBean]

No just finishing breast feeding, of course not off milk! He has masses, more than the recommended 1 pint for his age.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I read it twice and I wasnt sure. I was pretty sure you wouldnt be though!

So doe he refuse the bottle for that one feed then?? Maybe Daddy could try to do that one?

 

[PeanutBean]

Sorry I'll try and explain better. This is what comes from typing down absent mind-wanderings! We started weaning with lunch and quickly tea, then a couple ofw eeks later breakfast. Because I wanted to give up BF soonish I swapped his afternoon feed to a bottle and sometimes a snack too, then about a week or two later swapped his mid-morning feed to a bottle leaving just the bedtime feed coming from me. I'm sure he will take the bedtime feed as a bottle though he may be whingey a few nights if he misses the closeness. It's me that's holding us back. Now that I'm so close I feel torn about giving up. Practically, I really do want to be finished BF now but emotionally I think that despite the months of bad-latch agony I will really quite miss that particular bond. Not that we won't have other bonding and cuddles and things, but it's sort of a unique experience isn't it? Does that make sense? I wasn't really looking for advice, maybe others' stories on giving up BF or just some chat about it! lol I just keep putting off dropping this last feed.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

That makes sense Yes you were rambling a bit before!!

I'm back to work next week and I've not had to do anything specific as fortunately she just seemed to drop her day BFs naturally as we weaned. I really wanted to keep morning and bed time feeds for myself for that 'time' you described. It is a unique experience. I'm not ready to give it up yet so I TOTALLY get why you're not....besides the closeness it's like the end of an era yeah??

 

[PeanutBean]

Sorry, the baby brain has yet to vacate and without a specific question and with lots of mixed feelings and thought I guess my post was not exactly clear!

How will you manage it with work? My HR emailed with my return dates and added to let them know if I'm BF then so they can make arrangements (what these might be I don't know!). I definitely will have stopped by Nov! To be honest, Byron hasn't technically dropped any of his feeds, I've just sort of replaced them. My boy is one greedy baby and would definitely eat all the food and have full BF every time! He's already crossed two growth chart lines since he was little! lol It's been a bit controlling I know and not really in keeping with my more natural parenting style but there we go! Just one of those things that don't turn out quite how you imagine.

So anyway, you see why I'm torn? And my main reason for wanting to stop was to wear wired bras which I can do now anyway given how little milk I'm holding on to. I like the time together but he gets more rubbish at BF every day, he's always had a crap latch! Now it's like I'm so close to having finished I should just drop this last feed, it sort of feels like a hassle but when I'm actually doing it I like having that closeness. I think my reasons for continuing are as selfish as my reasons for stopping! haha!

I think an element of it is that it's take me so long to recover from the birth and I still don't feel right even now, I know that a part of the recovery comes after BF when the hormones die down and I feel like I'd like to be putting all that behind me now.

My Mum fed us all until we were 1 year. My sister gave up with her boy when he was 7 months. It's hopeless looking at what others do. Just makes me feel guilty or justified in big swinging cycles, neither leading to any decision making!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I'll be getting up and getting ready for work before she wakes then when she does she'll have a BF - we normally have this in bed but obviously that wont happen on work days due to time pressures. That BF will mean she can have breakie at nursery/MILs but not arrive starving. Then she's on solid lunch and tea. She occasionally has a BF around 3pm but it's very rare TBH so I'll send some cartons in case she's unsettled. Then I'll continue to feed her myself before bed until she doesnt want to anymore. I was worried I might need to pump at work but thats not going to be an issue.

BTW - you can get underwired nursing bras.......as soon as I hit 12 weeks I was back in them

 

[elm]

BTW - you can get underwired nursing bras.......as soon as I hit 12 weeks I was back in them

Ohhhh, where from?!

It sounds like you really want to carry on for a bit. Does giving Byron one breast feed a day stop you from being you again? I'm not advising one way or the other btw, just wondering x

 

[Mervs Mum]

Here:

En Vie

 

[PeanutBean]

BTW - you can get underwired nursing bras.......as soon as I hit 12 weeks I was back in them

Ohhhh, where from?!

It sounds like you really want to carry on for a bit. Does giving Byron one breast feed a day stop you from being you again? I'm not advising one way or the other btw, just wondering x

I saw some Panache ones from Mothercare online (not in shop or catalogue) but for me they were too expensive to buy. I wear Panache superbras normally so I'd probably go for them as they fit me better than other makes.

No, giving Byron one feed a day is ok. But it sort of feels a bit piddly, like one feed isn't worth it! lol I've been thinking more about it and as we're hoping to try him in his room tomorrow night I'm going to hold off while we make sure he's settled in there then reassess again. I can see me putting this off until he's 4 or something!

 

[elm]

One feed a day is totally worth doing if you want to do it - it's the most balanced nutrition packed meal they get til they're one or something?! And there's all the antibodies and good stuff in it.

I wouldn't think about it too much and just go with how you feel everyday. You might just find they become less and less frequent as time gong on or something?!

Thanks for the bra info - I'll have a look

x

 

[PeanutBean]

I know it's the best thing and that#'s a good part of the reason I've been torn. I more meant worth it for me to continue (selfish again!). You're right though, one day at a time and just see. Did I mention how bad his latch is again now? Reckons he can chew me like food I think! But at least I have a whole day to recover. lol