This is my birth story and I wonder how many women feel the same as me. I had quite a tough time and I'm struggling to deal with it.
During my pregnancy I researched natural births, hypnobirthing all that kinda thing. I had it all planned I really didn't want to risk an epidural slowing down my labour and affecting bubs. I didn't want to be out of it and not remember my LO coming into the world, so I decided on trying for a drug free birth. I bought a tens machine, heat pack, birthing ball and other bits and bobs to help. I was pretty confident I could do it.
The day I went into labour my contractions came on pretty strong and fast, they were so close together I only ended up with a maximum of 5 minutes between each one, most of them came every 3-4 minutes. For the first hour I was ok on my ball and with my breathing techniques but quickly I found myself not coping. We went to the hospital when my waters broke and after an examination they found I was only 1-2cm dilated! How could I be in so much pain with contractions so strong and close together and not even be in "proper" labour as they put it.
I had gas and air, which did not help. I had a pethadine injection which hubby says calmed me down but didn't do anything for the pain. 6 hours later I opted for an epidural, the relief was amazing! I couldn't believe I didn't want this! However it began to wear off on my left side so every hour or so I was being "topped up" only for it to wear off again shortly.
About 4 hours later I was told things were progressing and I was 8-9cms dialated. I was told I'd be ready to start pushing in about 2 hours time if everything carried on as well as it was going. 2 hours passed, another woman on the delivery ward was also pushing and they didn't want two of us delivering at the same time in case of emergency. I was told to wait... Which was fine, however hours passed and still nothing. Doctors kept coming in to check on me and midwives in and out. Eventually my ob came in and told me to start pushing so everything was set up ready for the arrival...
After an hour of pushing and nothing happening, I was again examined and told that a bit of cervix that was left (the midwife thought I would push through it) had become swollen and she didn't want me to push any longer. I was distraught and exhausted. I just cried from pure frustration. Ob came back and examined me, he asked if we could go for a c-section and I agreed immediately. I couldn't stand the labour any longer.
Hubby was so worried, he was crying and terrified that something would happen in surgery. I tried to reassure him as best I could. During the procedure they struggled to get him out. He was very far down in the birth canal and his shoulders got stuck. It was very traumatic and he was shocked when he came out. He did not breath for a couple of minutes after birth they had to help him. When they took him out they did not even show him to me, just took him away straight away. Hubby went with him to the nursery. The surgeon stitched me up and I was taken to recovery. The midwife that came to get me told me she had already met my baby. This broke my heart. I hadn't even yet!
When I was taken back to the ward my family were there but were told to wait outside while they got me settled. I was still on my own. No hubby no bub and now no family. The doctor came in to tell me bub had fluid on his lungs and needed antibiotics. Also his blood sugars were low and they had had to give him formula. Hubby had consented after they had badgered him and made him feel bad. I said I would have rather them give him dextrose IV instead of bottle feeding him. I argued with the doctor and midwife, I cried cos I just wanted to see my baby and touch him and feed him.
I was not the first person to hold him, touch him, see him, have skin to skin or feed him. I feel robbed of those precious "firsts" I was so angry and frustrated 24 hours of labour, failed epidural and an emergency c-section later I couldn't hold the only thing that made it all worth it. Hubby was by my side at this point. He was upset and thought I blamed him for the formula thing.
I was told by midwife that if I wanted baby to come out of the nursery quicker it is better he have formula instead of a drip. I disagree but at the time I just wanted my baby so bad I agreed. They bought him out of the nursery to see me for a short while. I got my first cuddle and I fed him. He met my family who were allowed in but not to hold him yet. Then they took him back to the nursery for monitoring.
He was fed formula overnight.i did not sleep a wink. I couldn't move, I was in agony and I was worried about baby. I missed my hubby and was so emotional. Hubby came to visit in the morning and bubs came out of the nursery by midday. No more formula! Breast only since then, we have had no problems, he is doing so well!
I am so grateful he is happy and healthy don't get me wrong! But I do feel robbed of a good experience and it is still very emotional for me to think about it. I wonder if anyone else feels the same. How did you get over the feeling?
During my pregnancy I researched natural births, hypnobirthing all that kinda thing. I had it all planned I really didn't want to risk an epidural slowing down my labour and affecting bubs. I didn't want to be out of it and not remember my LO coming into the world, so I decided on trying for a drug free birth. I bought a tens machine, heat pack, birthing ball and other bits and bobs to help. I was pretty confident I could do it.
The day I went into labour my contractions came on pretty strong and fast, they were so close together I only ended up with a maximum of 5 minutes between each one, most of them came every 3-4 minutes. For the first hour I was ok on my ball and with my breathing techniques but quickly I found myself not coping. We went to the hospital when my waters broke and after an examination they found I was only 1-2cm dilated! How could I be in so much pain with contractions so strong and close together and not even be in "proper" labour as they put it.
I had gas and air, which did not help. I had a pethadine injection which hubby says calmed me down but didn't do anything for the pain. 6 hours later I opted for an epidural, the relief was amazing! I couldn't believe I didn't want this! However it began to wear off on my left side so every hour or so I was being "topped up" only for it to wear off again shortly.
About 4 hours later I was told things were progressing and I was 8-9cms dialated. I was told I'd be ready to start pushing in about 2 hours time if everything carried on as well as it was going. 2 hours passed, another woman on the delivery ward was also pushing and they didn't want two of us delivering at the same time in case of emergency. I was told to wait... Which was fine, however hours passed and still nothing. Doctors kept coming in to check on me and midwives in and out. Eventually my ob came in and told me to start pushing so everything was set up ready for the arrival...
After an hour of pushing and nothing happening, I was again examined and told that a bit of cervix that was left (the midwife thought I would push through it) had become swollen and she didn't want me to push any longer. I was distraught and exhausted. I just cried from pure frustration. Ob came back and examined me, he asked if we could go for a c-section and I agreed immediately. I couldn't stand the labour any longer.
Hubby was so worried, he was crying and terrified that something would happen in surgery. I tried to reassure him as best I could. During the procedure they struggled to get him out. He was very far down in the birth canal and his shoulders got stuck. It was very traumatic and he was shocked when he came out. He did not breath for a couple of minutes after birth they had to help him. When they took him out they did not even show him to me, just took him away straight away. Hubby went with him to the nursery. The surgeon stitched me up and I was taken to recovery. The midwife that came to get me told me she had already met my baby. This broke my heart. I hadn't even yet!
When I was taken back to the ward my family were there but were told to wait outside while they got me settled. I was still on my own. No hubby no bub and now no family. The doctor came in to tell me bub had fluid on his lungs and needed antibiotics. Also his blood sugars were low and they had had to give him formula. Hubby had consented after they had badgered him and made him feel bad. I said I would have rather them give him dextrose IV instead of bottle feeding him. I argued with the doctor and midwife, I cried cos I just wanted to see my baby and touch him and feed him.
I was not the first person to hold him, touch him, see him, have skin to skin or feed him. I feel robbed of those precious "firsts" I was so angry and frustrated 24 hours of labour, failed epidural and an emergency c-section later I couldn't hold the only thing that made it all worth it. Hubby was by my side at this point. He was upset and thought I blamed him for the formula thing.
I was told by midwife that if I wanted baby to come out of the nursery quicker it is better he have formula instead of a drip. I disagree but at the time I just wanted my baby so bad I agreed. They bought him out of the nursery to see me for a short while. I got my first cuddle and I fed him. He met my family who were allowed in but not to hold him yet. Then they took him back to the nursery for monitoring.
He was fed formula overnight.i did not sleep a wink. I couldn't move, I was in agony and I was worried about baby. I missed my hubby and was so emotional. Hubby came to visit in the morning and bubs came out of the nursery by midday. No more formula! Breast only since then, we have had no problems, he is doing so well!
I am so grateful he is happy and healthy don't get me wrong! But I do feel robbed of a good experience and it is still very emotional for me to think about it. I wonder if anyone else feels the same. How did you get over the feeling?
. But so happy that you and baby are now doing well.
