Firing my midwife?

[Dee2]

Hello: I'm really keen on trying to have a natural home birth so i've enlisted the services of a midwife to help me on this path. I'm moving from a big city of 4 million to a small town of 85K and I just kind of picked a midwife from the internet. She's nice enough, a newer midwife, but i'm not sure if it's going to work out between her and I. She doesn't seem supportive of my decision to have a home birth, to the extent that she's said things like "you know you can't have ANY pain medications" and other stuff to try to scare me. It's really annoying and frustrating because in my big city I had the most supportive home birth midwives you could possibly imagine. They were amazing and totally understood and loved the philosophy that birth is a natural event that shouldn't be medicalized unless it becomes a medical necessity. They didn't even do ultrasounds or anything. This midwife, when I told her i didn't think i wanted any ultrasounds, took the predictable approach of trying to scare me into having one by telling me all the complications that could go wrong that we wouldn't know about without an ultrasound. She also put a deadline on a stage of my labour, saying "if you push for more than 2 hours we transfer you to the hospital". I hate the idea of being on a stupid checklist like that and already feel quite disempowered by her approach. At this point I honestly feel that she's more afraid of home birth than i am, which is not cool at all since i really feel that i need someone who's going to be supportive of my decision. This is especially true since virtually everyone i've told about my plans to have a home birth in the small town i'm moving to try to scare me out of it by talking about babies dying and whatnot. It's SO annoying. I really feel that I'm moving somewhere where i won't have any emotional support. I'm hesitant to switch midwives because i'm already 18 weeks along and what if the new one is only worse? Help, please?

 

[BlueBug]

I'd find someone else if I were you. I'm giving birth at a birth center with a midwife, and I love how the whole environment is so mommy/daddy/baby friendly. It's all about what you need and want as a family (safety taken into account first, of course).

If she's so quickly dismissing what you want and actually trying to scare you into or out of things... I'd say she's not prepared to give you the support you're looking for. I know it would suck to change mid-pregnancy, but it would suck even more to go through your entire pregnancy and delivery with someone you don't trust.

 

[SoyLatte]

18 weeks isn't to far, I think you have plenty of time to switch and see if you can find a better midwife who'll listen to your requests and help you have the birth you want.

 

[Jims_Girl]

I would tell her everything that you have posted here and thank you but I cannot employ a midwife who makes me feel this way....
Good luck, hope you find a more suited midwife....

 

[sleepinbeauty]

Find someone else. I'd be afraid that she would pressure you into going to the hospital at the stupidest thing when the Big Day comes.