First time BFers and unsupportive midwives

[Piper84]

I just wanted to write a quick thread for any mums planning to BF for the first time. I just heard a really frustrating story from my cousin.

After a difficult labour, her son was born happy and healthy. My cousin was planning to BF but just expected to be able to do it, for it to come naturally. In the end, her and her OH were basically left alone by the midwives because they were so busy with other births. She was given absolutely minimal support (2 minutes with an impatient MW who made it very clear she'd rather be somewhere else) and was given wrong information about a BFing support group, which she then missed. Her and her OH were trying for 12 hours to get her son to latch and eventually gave up when he was screaming and gave him formula. She now feels guilty, sad and disappointed that she wasn't able to BF, which is by no means her fault. Sadly, she also has PND and this hasn't helped her at all.

So just to say do not expect NHS midwives to help you nurse. Apparently there is a shortage, and helping new mothers to BF is last on their list of priorities. If you are determined to BF and have had no experience of it before, I really recommend reading up on good latches, ways to prevent unnecessary pain etc. and realising that it's an art that doesn't necessarily come naturally!

Good luck all

 

[Tryandwish]

I am currently BF'ing my 17 week old who is my first. I was determined to breast feed from very early in my pregnancy but was also apprehensive coz I knew nothing about it. I did lots of research coz I had heard of NHS staff not having time to help after the birth. There are loads of breast feeding videos on you tube where I learnt how to latch baby on correctly and if there was any pain then break the latch and try again. Just like your cousin Piper84, I was left alone after baby was born but I had a good idea how to get baby feeding and was lucky that baby did very well and latched before being an hour old and fed for 45 mins. If I hadn't done the research then I'd probably have struggled and may have ended up formula feeding.

My advice for expecting first mums wanting to breast feed is to research, ask questions and even attend any breast feeding support groups as every woman in the groups is very willing to chat, give advice and share stories. Do anything you have to to feel confident in your capability to breast feed.

Breast feeding does take some effort but once you master it (which doesn't take long), I find it so much more convenient than formula feeding. Boobie is right temperature and always ready no matter where you are or what you're doing.

 

[Pielette]

I find it varies massively from area to area, and in my experience even from one year to the next!

I am currently BFing my second LO and it's going really well. I put that down to me scouring this forum to research all potential issues and ways to combat them, and very helpful midwives in the hospital. BUT with my first LO I didn't get enough help from midwives in the same hospital! How weird is that?! Plus I was naive and knew next to nothing about cluster feeding, growth spurts and fussiness.

Honestly this forum has been a godsend, it's taught me so much on BFing and I'm so delighted that my boy is 10 weeks old and the reason he's thriving is my milk and mine alone

So sorry to hear about your cousin's experience. Unfortunately I think lots of organisations make out like it's the easiest and most natural thing in the world. It's actually a skill that takes a lot of practise for both mum and baby.

 

[missk1989]

I'm sorry your cousin experienced that but I have to say when I had my lo almost a year ago the mw was amazing. Whenever I was struggling to feed she would come and help me without making me feel bad. I would recommend people did research as well though and attend a class if possible. I got some great information prior to bf but have to say this forum has helped me a great deal too.

 

[Mum2BKW]

We had amazing support from the midwives on the ward, it must vary depending on the area. I was very lucky.

For new mums - know where to get help and don't be afraid to go get it. Remember there is help on the phone too if you can't get out, or the midwives will do home visits.

 

[Fiona100912]

I'm sorry for anyone who didn't have a good experience but I think it must differ across areas. My son was tiny and I had no idea what I was doing. One of the midwives spent an hour with me helping me get the latch right-it was a massive help. And because he was so small the midwives visited about 10 times in his first 3 weeks and every time they offered help. I'm not saying the breast feeding was easy, but I think it would have been even harder without their support.

 

[rainbowskin]

Good advice. I think if anyone is really determined to breastfeed it's best to read up on it and educate yourself on the topic - especially clusterfeeding! I had no help or advice as a first time breastfeeder and we managed to make it work going on 13 months now. I read books and used kellymom website for info prior to giving birth which helped a lot.