Fob actually caring and being nice now?

[Nicolalove353]

So long story but I broke up with the fob before I found out I was prego and when I found out we tried to make it work for 2 months but nothing really changed do I broke up with him again. He is secretive and was cheating. He also was going to church for a while and then stopped which I am sure went hand in hand with his attitude and what he was up to. He wanted to be with me and start our family but I couldn't go through how he treated me. He got mad I wouldn't be with him and got nasty and told me he will be around for his baby but was not going to be there during the pregnancy. That got me mad because it wasn't fair I had to do this all on my own. I'm carrying his baby and doing all the hard work, he should at least be there for emotional support! Anyways, the last month he has been much nicer and more caring ( I am 24 weeks on Sunday btw).

We have been together on and off for 5 years and neither of us have met each others family. My parents came out to visit this last weekend and we all met each other including both sets of parents meeting each other. He just told me that he wants to get right with God again and start going back to church and make things right with us do we can raise our son together. He has said this many times before so I'm not holding my breath but I think anything is possible so I told him that his actions would prove what he is saying to me.

The thing is, I don't really know if I have ever been in love with him. I do love him and I love the softer side to him. He is affectionate and holds me and comforts me but he can be such an ass and only care about himself. He has cheated many times in the past and is really secretive in general, he has opened up a lot more but I see him still being secretive sometimes. He had been much better this last month...

I just don't know what to do. I really want my son to have his mom and dad together. I can't say I would want to be with if I didn't have his baby. I'm lost at what to do. If he does change (which I know is a stretch) I am tempted to try and be together. I'm just so confused. I really want my son to have a family. I know he and I will be fine if the fob and I are not together but there is such a strong need to be a family. So confused

 

[RainbowBaby13]

In my opinion a baby doesnt always make a relationship better, it can strain the relationship because of stress and sometimes make the relationship worse. You said that he has cheated on you many times and if he was sincere with his apologies he shouldnt had cheated after that and shouldnt had cheated in the first place. I know that you want your baby to have both mommy and daddy there together but he can still have that without you guys being a couple. you could always co-parent. I wouldnt force the relationship because of the baby. i say take it by day and hopefully hes true to his word and really does change and noy only support the baby, but support you too also what he doesnt do the next man will ( as far a emotional support and faithfulness goes) i hope everything works out for you

 

[Dream.dream]

I agree with the above . If the relationship was already strained a baby just makes it harder

If he wants to try and make things better then let him. But honestly I wouldn't take him back until the baby is actually here and he is still making effort and being a good dad. It's easy for him to say he wants to change but actually doing it and sticking to it is much harder :

Encourage him to be in babies life and support them and if you guys end up back together that's great.

But don't think you have to be with him. It's good for a child to have secure attachments to both parents but they don't need the parents to be together to have this .

 

[Nicolalove353]

I know I'm playing with fire but I also like to have him around to get my fill of affection. I have always loved the hugs, kisses, and cuddling but especially now that I am prego. I want the relationship to work out but I think you both are right, a baby only makes a strained relationship harder. I hope I can make the right decision. My mind seems fogged up with getting the affection I want right now. That is actually what got me in this predicament, even though I am do thankful for my baby and I love him to pieces already.