FOB has decided he doesn't want to see LO anymore!

[littlekitten8]

Well phoned FOB earlier to ask him if he was coming down to see LO on Monday as previously arranged, and also to see when he was paying his half of the rent and James's maintenance. He was making excuses so my dad said he had responsibilities and needed to face up to them. Now I know it wasn't the best thing in the world but it's not as if I have any control over my dad. He then started shouting down the phone for my dad to F*** off! Then hung up on me. Then he PM'd me on Facebook to say he wasn't going to come see James anymore. He said he didn't want anything to do with any of my family and that he would rather not come to see him anymore. He wants to keep in contact so that if James wants to see him when he's older he can. I'm so fed up and annoyed and now I feel damn well guilty cos I feel like I'm depriving him of his dad. Not as if he was making any effort to come see him before so why do I feel like this?

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Because you want him to have a daddy He sounds like he is better off without him hunni. Make sure he keeps paying for him though. He can't leave you with his child to bring up and not help finacially
xx

 

[princessellie]

ugh people like this really wind me up, he needs to wake up and realise its not all about him

x

 

[Aidedhoney]

Big hugs hun, but sounds like he needs to grow up a bit and face up to the fact he has responsibilities.
Its not your fault he doesnt want to see bubs so please dont blame yourself or feel guilty xx

 

[tinkabells]

Didn't wanna read and run, but kinda know what your going through, but i cant say too much hugs xxx

 

[littlekitten8]

Thanks girls. I feel really shitty tonight. James is sound asleep and he has no idea he will probably never see his daddy again. Makes me wanna curl up in a ball and cry The most annoying thing is that he is still seeing his other son and makes the effort to go pick him up and have him for 2 days a fortnight.

Tinkabells feel free to PM me if you want x

 

[Baby G]

What an immature JERK!!! Seriously.. a message on facebook! He needs to grow up and be a MAN!

 

[MissEfendi]

He is probably just saying that because your dad has hurt his little ego and he is being all spiteful. I am sure he will be in touch to say he wants to see his baby when he has calm down.

Boys!!

 

[sweetlullaby]

hope your ok hun. Lo is just asleep so Im heading off to bed im knackered and brain isnt working but through facebook?! And you shouldnt feel guilty though i know you want your son to have his daddy and your bound to be angry because he makes the effort for his other son. Make sure he pays his rent etc and maintance towards james. If ya wanna chat just pm me xx

 

[lou_w34]

Dont feel guilty!!!
Personally id just let him stew in his own juice, if he wants to act like a 5 year old, let him!

He will soon come to realise (however far down the line it is) that he has made the biggest mistake of his life, and he has noone to blame but himself.

Id keep the message from fb aswell, just incase your son ever asks or wants to know!~



xxx

 

[Linz88]

Call the csa chick. Its not easy to raise a child financially alone. You shouldnt have to cause im sure you didnt make james alone. And dont feel guilty you never stopped him from seeing james. You should have print screened the conversation so if your baby ever blames you or if your babys dad tries to lie. You can show him what really happened x x

 

[expecting09]

You shouldn't feel guilty hun, your not depriving James of anything Can't believe FOB said that, but he can still see his other son, how fair is that, pfft!

 

[littlekitten8]

Well as expected he is now slightly going back on what he said. Was talking to him earlier once again on Facebook. He said that he had said it in the heat of the moment. My response was whether he said it in the heat of the moment or not he still said it so he must have been thinking about it. He then said yes he had been cos he thinks I am not making things easy for him to come see James. He wants me to bring James up to him so he doesn't have to spend the money on the train!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Well as expected he is now slightly going back on what he said. Was talking to him earlier once again on Facebook. He said that he had said it in the heat of the moment. My response was whether he said it in the heat of the moment or not he still said it so he must have been thinking about it. He then said yes he had been cos he thinks I am not making things easy for him to come see James. He wants me to bring James up to him so he doesn't have to spend the money on the train!

And what about the money you spend getting there. He is taking the piss hun. Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier
xx

 

[littlekitten8]

Lol yup pretty much what I said to him. I told him I was spending enough money getting to and from work so I can support our son!

 

[Baby G]

Rake his sorry ass over the coals....

 

[Maffie]

LK just here with lots of its not your fault, its him who will be missing out x

 

[hayley1989]

Its his loss at the end of the day, funny how some guys are man enough to do the deed but dont have the balls to be a father!!!! Makes me so mad when guys do that. You shouldnt feel bad, he will come round. My sister went thru the same thing with her ex, he wasnt even at her daughters birth! 8 years on he regrets it and has tried his best to make it up to her. Not always as much as he could but hes trying and I suppose thats what counts. My niece is now old enough to realise her dads not a constant in her life and her mum is so im sure your lo will be the same. Sorry for the essay lol! Xx

 

[littlekitten8]

Thanks. He hasn't seen James since he was 11 weeks old. James is now almost 14 months old and its coming up for a year since he saw FOB. He doesn't know any different and doesn't care. He has some amazing male role models in my dad and brothers so I'm no longer feeling guilty

 

[hayley1989]

Good! thats all he needs, as long as he has a stable family and home he will be fine. He doesnt need someone flitting in and out of his life. When hes old enough to understand and ask where his dad is you can explain it to him and keep the option open to meet him but no point causing any upset if the FOB isnt interested! Im sure your doing a fantastic job without him xx