FOB has some nerve!

[TweetyPie20]

So I haven't been on here for a while (since I was pregnant actually) when I wasn't sure whether to tell FOB about baby because he didn't live in the country by the time I found out.

Well update I told him he was still living over there he saw pictures and asked how baby was but that's as far as his concern went (his family don't even know about our son)

Well he came back a month ago and is staying for a few months and since he's been back the only time he's been round is stupid midnight visits where he thinks I'm some kind of booty call! Needless to say he didn't get what he came for and since he's found out I'm with someone else hasn't paid any late night visits or any phonecalls.

He's not interested in our son whatsoever. I've tried my best to make him see him at reasonable times, offered to let him have some proper father/son time as hes now nearly 8 months old but he's not interested. I've never asked for anything money or maintainance wise I don't need or want his money, but I don't know what else I can do aside from taking him to court to make him have a relationship with his son.

And the whole time in all of this I'm getting slagged off by people saying I'm a selfish cow that won't let him see him? WTF?!

Anyone with any advice?

 

[SilasLove]

That is horrible! It seems you are giving him every opportunity to be a father and its getting you nowhere. At a point you have to wonder if it would even benefit your son to have a relationship with his father. There is no sense in forcing him to have a relationship with your son as that will just backfire most likely. (ex. in and out of life)

This is no easy task, and I wish you the best. Don't mind what others say as they are all ignorant to the situations in your life. xx

 

[dustbunny]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. You have offered up every opportunity for him to be a part of his sons life and he has reacted negatively to each, sadly at the end of the day this is all his loss. Take comfort in that you have done everything you can do.

 

[MummyJade]

Its a tough one, As dustbunny said, you cant force it...

I went to solicitors cos FOB wasn't around enough and they told me 'you cant force a man to have a relationship with a child if he doesn't want too'

It seems he only came around to get a leg over not to see the baby...

I would leave it if you see him or hear anything just say, i've tired doing it this way but you've showed no interest, if you want a serious relationship with your child contact a solicitor...
Forget gossip cos thats all it is, you've done your best and be proud of it
x

 

[Laura2919]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. You have offered up every opportunity for him to be a part of his sons life and he has reacted negatively to each, sadly at the end of the day this is all his loss. Take comfort in that you have done everything you can do.

I agree...

 

[TweetyPie20]

Thanks guys. He was just trying to get a leg over he didn't succeed and as soon as I said I'm seeing someone else that was the last I saw or heard.

I feel pretty bad I have 2 sons. My eldest was conceived in a badly abusive relationship which I fought tooth and nail to keep my ex away from me and my son which as the courts as they are gave him supervised visits.

So the FOB I want to just disappear (preferably to a grave yard!) is doing anything and everything to carry on using my son (hes not genuinely interested now that court cases are closed and I've moved on he doesn't stick to the times set and comes when he feels like it or has something to rub in my face via a family member that takes and supervises my son)

And the one who would be a great dad if he would just step up isn't interested whatsoever. I feel so sorry for both of them having such waste dads due to failure of the pill but I think you're right. It's not my boys fault ''/

It's his loss and I guess when LO asks where his Daddy is I'll just tell him the truth and give him his phone number when he's older and let him answer our sons questions himself.