FOB in delivery/OR for birth?

[Live It Up]

This may have been talked about before. I'm new so bare with me. Lol

Long story short, my ex husband left for another woman while I was 8 weeks along with our second baby. I am having a csection in 2 weeks. I cannot decide if he should be in the OR with me.

He still sees our first son here and there when it's convenient for him. Sometimes he doesn't show. But he hasn't even asked about this baby or the pregnancy in 6 months.

I'm not sure what to do.

 

[blinkybaby]

Has he expressed a wish to be with you in the OR?

I'm of the opinion that it's your body and your choice seeing as you are going to be in a vulnerable place and have the right to feel as comfortable as you can.

Not much help I'm sorry! It's a decision only you can make really. Trust your gut...

xxx

 

[Baby.Love12]

This may have been talked about before. I'm new so bare with me. Lol

Long story short, my ex husband left for another woman while I was 8 weeks along with our second baby. I am having a csection in 2 weeks. I cannot decide if he should be in the OR with me.

He still sees our first son here and there when it's convenient for him. Sometimes he doesn't show. But he hasn't even asked about this baby or the pregnancy in 6 months.

I'm not sure what to do.

HELL NO!! Absolutely not, if he has not been there for you the entire pregnancy and has not even bothered to ask you about it then NO! UGH I hate idiot men, the same thing happened to me and trust me girl you can do it without him! Do not even give him the pleasure of seeing that baby be born.

 

[teal]

I agree with the above. There is no way in hell I'd let someone who hasn't bothered to be at the birth. I was very vulnerable and couldn't have imagined ever being ok with my ex being there.

You need to do what you're comfortable with and don't be guilted into anything xx

 

[gracexxx]

I agree completely! This was a fairly similar situation to my own, except FOB left me at 7 months pregnant. He completely ignored me from then, wouldnt answer my phone calls/texts/messages. He got back in touch around my due date, but I'd made the decision not to let him know when I was going into labour or be at the birth, I believe if someones selfish enough to leave you at such a scary and important time in both your lives then what's suddenly going to change when the baby arrives? I knew I needed to be as relaxed as possible and go through it on my own, I t was a hard decision, but I know it was the right decision. I think I might have felt even worse if he'd seen our baby come into the world and still decided to have no input in her life.
These selfish b**tards don't deserves that precious amazing moment.

 

[weebubba]

My ex wasn't allowed near! I only called to let him know my son was born AFTER I called the important people in my life. It's your choice and only yours and if he doesn't like it thats just tough!

Good luck for your delivery and recovery. I hope it all works out the way you want it to.

 

[Dezireey]

I think you should think carefully about whether him being there will cause you any stress. E.g if you haven't seen him in a while, you could start having an innocent conversation about what he has been up to and then it could escalate into an argument which raises your blood pressure etc etc. You need to be focused, calm and happy. If him being there could stress you, even in the slightest, then no, don't have him around.

Personally, like others have said, I wouldn't even ask him if he has not been bothered about the baby.

 

[Dream.dream]

I differ from everyone else , I think if he asks then you should let him as it is his child as well, and if he wants to be involved I think he should be allowed

However I would alt down ground rules before hand and let him know if there is any funy buisness or him giving you stress you'll have security escort him out .

 

[Jade--x]

If he hasn't been interested or even asked then hell no would he even be told I was going.

I didn't have FOB at the hospital or in the room I didn't tell him he was born until I was discharged from hospital the next day so that he couldn't turn up causing a scene.

 

[Mummy1995]

No no no and a million times no unless you're on VERY good terms. I didn't tell FOB til LO was born and didn't allow him to see her til I was back home and rested. And I'm so so glad, because he's turned out to be a waste of space and so I'm glad I didn't spend those first precious moments with him, and it was just me, mum, my sister, my dad and my best friend for the first few days

Ultimately chose what you want, be selfish and don't take his feelings into account. Most important thing is that everything is calm and smooth so you and baby stay healthy and safe xx

 

[Baby.Love12]

No no no and a million times no unless you're on VERY good terms. I didn't tell FOB til LO was born and didn't allow him to see her til I was back home and rested. And I'm so so glad, because he's turned out to be a waste of space and so I'm glad I didn't spend those first precious moments with him, and it was just me, mum, my sister, my dad and my best friend for the first few days

Ultimately chose what you want, be selfish and don't take his feelings into account. Most important thing is that everything is calm and smooth so you and baby stay healthy and safe xx

Very well said!

 

[Kate&Lucas]

In your situation I definitely wouldn't. FOB was with me during labour but we were living together at the time and on good terms, despite being broken up. If he's not even shown an interest in the pregnancy though, absolutely not.