FOB is a waste of space , please read *

[stacey&bump]

hi girls
just needed somewhere to vent and ask for ur opinion. me and eabhas daddy split up a few mths back because he wasnt helping me out around the house, everythime he went out with mates he was going partying and not coming back til the following day, he came back from a weekend partying in feb with mak up on his top, when i confronted him he said he had his arm around his friend and his gf playing around etc , i then found a girls number in his fone , he txtd that number saying wats the craic throughout that weekend he was away , i also found out he kissed a girl when i was 8 mths pregnant , after all this i gave it one last shot for eabhas sake he promised me the world said he would change then 3 weekends ago wen we were out for a mates bday he wldnt come home with me and came home the following morning at 8 o clock , i rang my friend and she said everyone left her house at 4 and FOB went to a fellas house to watch rugby. i asked him where he was and he said he didnt know. He drinks to the point he doesnt know what hes doing, he lets me down , calls me names, has pushed me about & i never once heard him call me a good mummy and i know i am. Eabha is my everything and im the constant in her life.
well now weve split up , im living with my mum now , with eabha and he was supposed to collect her at 2 today to keep her overnight so i could spend time with my friends but he didnt show up or call or reply my texts. I am sooooo fuming at him ! he was out last night because my sister saw him in town. He let me down but now hes letting our daughter down What should i do ??
i feel that his mum might call because he always goes to her house with our daughter and shes pretty naggy. Shell ask where eabha is and ill explain the situation to her , she will probably suggest she come get eabha but ill explain eabha is his responsibility and hes let her down so he can see her when i see fit.
I dont know what to do anymore , im so exhausted from how he treated me & he knew rightly i was supposed to be going out tonight ! what if eabha was 3 or 4 sitting excited for her daddy to come get her ?? its breaking my heart !


can anyone please give me their opinion on the situation and what they think i should do ? thank you i appreciate it

 

[Mally01]

I think you should distance yourself from him asap. In a situation like this, tell the Father once that something is planned and let him initiate the rest. If he lets you down all the time, then simply do not rely on him for anything.If we expect nothing from people like this, then we are never disappointed when they do exactly what we thought they would do...nothing. I think you do need to consider the future of your LO and I agree, what if one day when she is old enough to understand she gets constantly let down by her Daddy. Just do what you can to protect her from that. He is the one losing out, he is the one who's life is empty and he will suffer one day for his actions. Right now he is being an utterly selfish person and all he wants is to go out and be free and do as he pleases. I say let him do it and don't contact him at all unless it's urgent or an emergency. Let him organise to see his child and just always assume he won't go through with it so it doesn't upset your plans. He is unreliable and flaky, you don't need someone like that in your life.

 

[Laura2919]

Karma always comes around..

I agree though, you say you can have her this day and if he doesnt show dont bother to contact him. The thing about men is that when they leave they can have another life, friends, time to go out, time to meet new people, with us women its different, we are sole carers (for the most) and we have to lead two very different lives. Sometimes I feel like a fraud because I will have one life with my children and when they arent with me I have a life of a young 24 year old having fun with my mates. Since FOB and I have split I have been with one other person and I absolutely hated myself the next day, like I had done wrong and it was all too much but FOB can go out and do whatever he likes and not feel bad because out of 28 days he has his children for 8 of those and I have them for 20!
But the thing men dont realise is a future, we all have one and we are all entitled to one.. They can sleep with 2, 200, 2000 women but when there is another man standing where they should be seeing their children for 20 days instead of 8 days, taking themr to th Dr when they are ill, standing at the school gates waiting for them, kissing them goodnight, thats when it hits.. Karma is a wonderful thing, it just takes a little while to come.

 

[stacey&bump]

thank u girls for ur advice and kind words , i completely agree. From now on ill be expecting nothing from him . At the end of the day hes the one losing out ,hes the one letting our daughter down. I feel great that when i go to sleep at night I can honestly say my daughter has everything she needs , shes happy, content, clean and fed and thats all because of me I have no regrets in relation to her. The same cant be said for FOB and that is his loss. Exactly, men can do as they please, whenever they please. We dont get a break, we have to run around constantly after our children and we dont reli get much thanks for it , but thats what we do and thats who we are, loving caring people who have our childrens best interests at heart ! xx

 

[nicki01]

Someone once told me, men babysit, the women stay at home with the baby. (not always the case i might add) so so true for me tho..... if he going out, he just says oh im going out this day. When i want to go out i have to say, will you look after charlie for an hour!

 

[rose.wombwell]

im going through a very similar thing, i no it sounds harsh but i think you should stop him having your LO overnight as hes clearly not taking parenting seriously, he needs to gain your trust and respect and prove himself to you. if he cares that much he will, and if not you know you've done whats best and cut out years of dissapointments...
as long as you dont stophim from seeing LO your within your rights to say the conditions, sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do!
if your on good terms with his family maybe arrange time for them to have LO so your still getting sometime for yourself and LO is still seeing that side of the family...

hope this helps a little!
xxx