FOB seeing his child ?

[KiansMummy]

Hi im nearly 16 weeks pregnant and me and babys dad split up when i was nearly 8 weeks gone, theres no chance of us getting back together, but he still wants to be involved and i want him to have contact with the baby, just wondered what sort of arrangements you have for FOB seeing his child and whats suitable for a newborn baby?? Thanks.. x

 

[littlekitten8]

I'm afraid I can't offer much advice on this as James was 3 months old when I split with FOB. And he has no contact whatsoever. But I would say that if you are both wanting him to be involved then it would be a good idea to sit down and talk about what you both expect. Bear in mind how you are going to feed baby as obviously if you are breast feeding then he won;t be able to have her away from you for very long. Good luck x

 

[Linz88]

Hi maybe you could do some kind off rota, where he see's l.o different day\s each week. Good luck and i hope it all works out for you three

 

[purpledahlia]

FOB hasnt yet seen Ava, but apparently wants too soon But i'd just wait and see, its early days for you i wouldnt make any decisions till much later x

 

[Aidedhoney]

Agree with the above, i would just relax and enjoy been pregnant and see what happens in the future xx

 

[lou_w34]

I would wait and see aswell

Its kinda hard to make arrangements now, when you dont no how you will feel when bubs is here, try and relax and enjoy being pregnant

xx

 

[sweetlullaby]

I would also wait and see. When LO is here you could find any arrangements you've made are not suitable at all aka bedtime, bath time things like that.

Just enjoy your pregnancy for now

 

[scottishgal89]

i'd wait and see what happens.
depends what terms you are both on by the end of the pregnancy.
but to be honest- a few hours one day a week would be enough.
newborns dont do anythin apart from eat and sleep so really all that ends up happening is you end up spending time with fob
xxx

 

[Laura2919]

I dont think I would be comfortable letting him have the baby on his own when the baby is still so young!
But you still have months to discuss a suitable term with him. x

 

[mommy2baby2]

Like everyone else has said, wait and see what the future holds, who knows, maybe things will work out between you two.

But if they don't, newborns need their mommy's the most. Perhaps he could come over several times per week (or even daily if you can stomach it) so he can sit with the baby while you catch a nap or finish some laundry. Newborns sleep a lot anyways but you'll be tired and the extra hands will be helpful during the early months.

 

[Laura2919]

Chloe and Jaycee's dad has them twice a week. One day during the week on his day off and one day at the weekend. He wants more contact and I said no. I have given him more than fair because usually its 2 days every 2 weeks!

He hardly has them over night unless I am going out and that is only if I go out with my mum or my mum has them...

 

[scottishgal89]

i dont want to sound horrible or that.
but another member on this thread mentioned him coming over and watching the little one while u did chores or had a nap.
i didnt go down that route (but he wouldnt have wanted it either)
i had my mum help me, she would do some chores or things and help me out while i bonded with little one. and then eventually i could do it all myself standing on my head.
i know this is just my view but it was- me and fob werent together so i didnt lean on him, i didnt expect him for help and i didnt ask him for anything
that maybe depends on the situation though, cause ours wasnt good.
as for him having baby himself- no way when they're a newborn, they need their mum.
i know this post is all over the place but im finding it hard to explain, do u understand what im trying to say?

 

[KiansMummy]

i dont want to sound horrible or that.
but another member on this thread mentioned him coming over and watching the little one while u did chores or had a nap.
i didnt go down that route (but he wouldnt have wanted it either)
i had my mum help me, she would do some chores or things and help me out while i bonded with little one. and then eventually i could do it all myself standing on my head.
i know this is just my view but it was- me and fob werent together so i didnt lean on him, i didnt expect him for help and i didnt ask him for anything
that maybe depends on the situation though, cause ours wasnt good.
as for him having baby himself- no way when they're a newborn, they need their mum.
i know this post is all over the place but im finding it hard to explain, do u understand what im trying to say?

Yeah i understand exactly what your saying and i totally agree with you, im just worrying because he keeps saying he wants to be involved, and he told a friend thats he's bought his own pram for baby, whilst its young baby will be best of with me, i will need to get it into a routine and bond with it x

 

[Laura2919]

i dont want to sound horrible or that.
but another member on this thread mentioned him coming over and watching the little one while u did chores or had a nap.
i didnt go down that route (but he wouldnt have wanted it either)
i had my mum help me, she would do some chores or things and help me out while i bonded with little one. and then eventually i could do it all myself standing on my head.
i know this is just my view but it was- me and fob werent together so i didnt lean on him, i didnt expect him for help and i didnt ask him for anything
that maybe depends on the situation though, cause ours wasnt good.
as for him having baby himself- no way when they're a newborn, they need their mum.
i know this post is all over the place but im finding it hard to explain, do u understand what im trying to say?

Yeah i understand exactly what your saying and i totally agree with you, im just worrying because he keeps saying he wants to be involved, and he told a friend thats he's bought his own pram for baby, whilst its young baby will be best of with me, i will need to get it into a routine and bond with it x

He bought his own pram? Why is the one your gonna have for baby not good enough?? Thats such a silly thing to do really.. Because while you havent got the baby you wont be needing the buggy. That would have annoyed me senseless!

I wouldnt worry too much, I think as long as your giving him the right to contact, like coming to yours to see the baby then he cant moan. If your not ready for overnight contact then you dont have to be. No one would ever think badly if you werent. I would never ever let my ex have Chloe and Jaycee overnight unless I knew they would be OK.

 

[scottishgal89]

i really dont understand what the whole pram thing is about.
thats a total waste of money that he could have used to help u with costs of other things you'll need!! the baby wont be with him long enough for him to need his own pram.
men are idiots!!
thanks for not taking what i said the wrong way