O'll offer you my experience regarding the weed issue and the court process. It is a valid point to be worried though the hysteria surrounding it is very misplaced...Just be sure you are honest about the FOB and his smoking when going to court. I'll offer a bit of background to help. Its the vindictive mother thin here which many of you say on here gives single mums a bad name. I agree. Why do they do it? I wanted to be with her FFS!!!
Myself and my ex smoked weed during our relationship. She liked to down a litre of JD at the same time. I've always liked a smoke and I'm not ashamed of that. I work full time and freelance, exercise 5 times a week, ride horses, went to all appointments, was at the birth, I study 6 months of every year for my work, no criminal record, I dont drink or go pubbing and clubbing anymore, have contributed financially since my ex since she was 4 months pregnant despite her viscous, blaming, critical attitude towards me. A drug addict I'm certainly not.
Our relationship was on the rocks throughout the pregnancy. I had to pull away to stop the fighting between us as it wasnt healthy for her, baby or me. We stayed loosely together and I hoped we'd sort things out and work through the issues once we had settled down after the birth. She seemed to be thinking the same way Things turned sour about a month after my son was born as I wasnt going to just jump right back into ta relationship without dealing with the past issues. I feared that would lead to more issues down the line and affect my son. When I asked to take my son for walk to see his nan I was suddenly a drug addict, a liability and was subjected to vindictive treatment from then on.
I took her to court as she was messing around with contact and the accusations were simply unreasonable. I quit smoking right away knowing I'd probably be tested. That was 5 months ago. This was the same girl who texted me about friends who had good weed after calling me an addict and who said 2 months before the birth she couldnt wait to have a joint.
I didnt see my son for 3 months while the court process started. I had only been offered a meeting in the park and that was the last straw for me along with the allegations. Obviously initially supervised was agreed... by her dad at first as I didnt want to get sucked into things with my ex but she was there the whole time and I did get sucked in.. Then we went to court again for more access.. this time with mediation. She brought up weed smoking in mediation though I'd already mentioned it as I went first and offered to take a hair test. In our joint session the mediator, who is also a child welfare officer making a report to the judge brought up this long list of silly allegations against me..I had nothing to criticise. I hate tit for tat. My ex was told if I took a test and it was clean she could never bring up the weed issue again.
In court the judge ignored all her allegations bar the drug issue..and here's the point.. he said if I took a test and it was clean I could have my son unsupervised. Everyone already knew I had quit so I'm happy.. my ex was appeased to give me what I want. But now she's breaking the court order we have until the test as she knows once I get him I'm gone from her life.
There are two types of test.. standard head hair which shows 90 days smoking and a timeline of intake or failing head hair a body hair test which just shows yes or no within the last 6 months. The head hair can show chronic usage and dependency so I hope your ex doesnt shave his head.
I hate all this. I love my ex and didnt deserve this... why do they do it???
