FOB wants LO 3 nights a week??

[tiasmummy]

my baby father has been in touch to say he wants our child half of the week (that being 3 days and 3 nights) or hes going court to get access. my baby is only 10 weeks old and still breastfeeding. He was abusive to me throughout our relationship up until 8 months pregnant he was still physically violent. i left him then but still let him be at the birth and let him see our baby as often as he wanted, i even started letting him take her for a few hours by himself every now and then but then things started to go downhill he would be disrespectful towards me again, threatening to hit me and once locked me out of his mums house with our LO inside i had to call the police just to get her back! in the end i decided that was enough drama and have stopped all access as i cant keep seeing him and being threatedned, verbally abused and made to feel like crap. i told him im stopping access and to go through the courts his comeback was that he now wants to fight for 3 days a week (him and his girlfriend) i know the courts wouldnt allow him this, i would like him to still see her despite everything but NOT under the terms hes saying... any ideas as to what i can do??

 

[Jade--x]

Are you from the UK hon? The best thing to do is see a solicitor tell them what's happened and decide what contact you are happy with. Before he'd be able to take you to court you'd have to sit through mediation. You can ask for it to be supervised especially if you have had to call the police with him not giving you LO..They might say it's only for a period of time but that's better than him just taking LO at the minute x

 

[teal]

I'd definitely see a solicitor. The fact you've had to call the police about him will go against him. Breastfeeding will be in your favour since you breastfeed on demand so can't be away from LO for too long xx

 

[Ceejay123]

Honestly I'd tell him to go to hell, and not to contact you again, have any contact done through a family member or contact centre. You shouldn't have to be around this man, and your daughter probably shouldn't alone. Court won't allow him and his girlfriend that much access, can you keep a record of his threatening behaviour? X

 

[KayBea]

ive had the same with my FOB, but in a different situation..

i had him arrested as he was violent, knives & bb gun etc.. wont go into detail!
anyway hes been sentenced etc & has to go through my solicitor if he wants to see LO.
my solicitor has assured me that it will be in a contact centre for 2-3 hours a week max.

i would seek out a solicitor! make sure you get a residency (sp?) order, meaning if he takes her for what ever reason he HAS to return her to you!!

have you reported any of the violence/threatening etc?
where abouts do you live?
xx

ETA the fact shes BF he cant have her over night anyway!! whats he meant to feed her?!
plus babies are concidered to0 young for night stays until 6 months anyway!

 

[tiasmummy]

kaybea im in london, how would i go about getting a residancy order? xx

 

[Shezza84uk]

He's having a laugh isnt he.. if im honest I don't think the court would grant him that much days especially if you are breastfeeding and yes a residency order and a prohibited steps order is needed if you cant trust him, you need to see a solicitor to get it sorted I would allow him 2hrs on weekends ONLY while baby is that tiny after all YOU had the baby all he did was shoot his load! Also something to bear in mind is the court would ask him if he's attempted to go through mediation with you to first attempt for you both to agree having a child's home split in 2 is distressing I would not agree at all.

Is he trying to get out of paying child maintenance? if he has her half the days it reduces significantly I think call his bluff most get bored anyway also ask the solicitor to apply for visitation at a contact centre due to his violence and the fact you called the police to get her back I think that is a valid reason for the request if you called the police during your relationship try to get the records as evidence of his violence and DOCUMENT AND RECORD EVERYTHING!!!

XX

 

[KayBea]

kaybea im in london, how would i go about getting a residancy order? xx

you need a solicitor hun, have a look on google for a family law solicitor who accepts legal aid.
my Solicitor is in Sunningdale - i dont know if thats too far away from you as she will ask to see you a few times, but PM me if you want a name & number.

but she was amazing & did everything she could for me!!!

xxxx

 

[fairydust87]

Ha not a chance! My ex wants LO overnight and I said no even at 5 months hes too young to be without me let alone 10 weeks and breastfeeding. I swear this mans crazy like you will agree to that. Beggers belief x