fob wants to get a second opinion...

[jaytee146]

Last week fob was over helping me with lo.. he was rocking her to sleep while i got a hot shower. He starts screaming "Jess CoME HERE" I think somethings wrong so I come running... Fob feels a soft spot/bump on the back of lo's head that kinda moves when you touch it. . . He start grilling me on what it was.. I told him I didn't know but had been watching it for sometimes now and it hasn't grown or gotten hard so I wasn't worried. I told him I'd bring it to her doctors attention in a few weeks.

He calls me back and mentions it again and says how worried he is and he'd like to pay to have an MRI done. I told him you can't have it done unless you're referred over and why would you expose you lo to that when nothing could really be wrong. I told him that maybe we could get a second opinion if it was troubling him that much. He comes back yesterday evening dropping off diapers and tells me he's found a docotor and he will come by get his child and take her for testing, and a second opinion at his doctor. I told him no, if you're taking her somewhere I'm going because I know lo's medical history. and what doctor would say they would see a child without medical history. He says he also wants her bone marrow tested.. This friday at 2:30 I ask why and he says nothing... I say well yeah I'm going to be there and that's that.

He comes back and says well I would like to get her for a few hours on saturday, he eventually tells me that there's a birthday party starting at 4:30 and he's gonna bring her back at six. I say okay because I haven't had a weekend day to myself since lo has been here. . . I don't want lo to go because I think he's gonna go behind my back and take her to another doctor. I'm trying to trust him but he has some controlling issues that don't sit right with me... and I'm getting nervous and jumpy and the day hasn't come. I have no issue witht he second opinion.. but I'm not gonna let a doctor stick my baby because fob thinks it should be done.

I'm struggling with this, and I'm tired of fighting with him.. This is only the beginning

 

[CandyDay]

Can you make an earlier appointment for her, other then the one that is in a few weeks? Then you can see what her usual doctor says about it first. There is no use in saying an mri and bone marrow needs to be done before a doctor has even looked at it. He is jumping the gun, its good that he is concerned but saying all these tests need to be done is a bit drastic. Do you have your LO health card? If so then can fob even take LO in without it? Or do you not have health cards where you are?

 

[jaytee146]

he has totally jumped the gun and went and signed her up for his healthcare insurance even though i get free healthcare right now through the state we live in. I feel that his heart is in the right place but he's not thinking logically.

I'm not alarmed by the bump since i've been watching it so long, so I feel completely confortable waiting until I see her doctor again... I do get what you're saying though, and the doctor I see only does walk-in appointments when their is great fever, pain, lack of wet diapers, not eatting and ect... now a bump that hasn't caused a dramatic change in her attitude, mood and appitite would get pushed to the bottom of the list as far as walkins are concerned, I would love if he changed the policy but he's a great doctor.

I have even offered for fob to go to each appointment, I tell him what day the appointments are ahead of time and he doesn't want to attend or "has to work" so that's him.

 

[Ceejay123]

I do think he's being a bit dramatic, but as you said it seems as though his hearts in the right place. My OH panics about everything, it's because he loves LO so much. Like he panicked when my LO's head was pulsing (Soft spot) i had to reassure him it was normal. The way he's learned to see it - I know what I'm doing, I'm not going to let harm come to my child.. so he trusts me with it.

x