FOB's done a runner ...

[pinkneon]

Social services want to do a routine police check on FOB. They have stated to me that it's totally up to me if he has contact or not, but if he decided that he does now want to be involved techincally he has a right to have supervised contact - which is why they want to do a police check.
So I rang him to ask if there was anything I needed to know before the police check was done so I didn't have any surprises. He swore he'd never been arrested or anything until I reminded him that he's not allowed to drive as he got done for drink driving. So then he's like "well nothing recently that's relevant". However, since then his phone has been switched off, and instead of it just saying the phone is off it now says "44(rest of munber) is unavailable to take a call at the moment". It only ever says "44" if someone is out of the country (44 being the dialing code for England). I have also spoken to a mutual friend who said FOB has gone abroad, but doesn't know if or when he is coming back. Now, to me this sounds like he has something to hide, and also that he can't take responsibility for anything. We had somehow agreed or maybe I somehow persuaded him?!) to pay half each of the buggy. This was my test to see how responsible, reliable and committed he is ... He gave me £30 in total and then told me the other day he had no money - yet when he told me that he was in his town center shopping, and then done his runner ... So now I don't know what to do?! If he ever decides to return he may then choose to see the baby. I have been told that even though it's up to me he still has rights to see her ... But I don't think he's grown up enough to be able to see a baby! I dunno if I should wait for him to grow up, or just move on and get on with my life ...

 

[Bethanymh]

Uh what a pickle. he sounds like such a ratbag ... sorry to be so blunt. I'm in a similar situation. My ex-oh and his bitchy mother are all slippery snakes behind my back: 'family lawyer this, family lawyer that'.

I'm worried about the extent to which he will be able to have access ... he lives abroad permanantly and does earn well, but can't really work here as has a criminal record and a bad credit history. I told him if he lives in the UK permanantly, yep, you can have access. But if you're living abroad and coming back to the UK for a weekend every 6-8 months or something then no, you cannot have access. What do you think?

How are you doing? Do you have a good family you can talk to? xxxx

 

[pinkneon]

No family down here at all. They all live 200miles away! And they're not going to be that involved with baby - mainly because of distance but also cos none of us have ever been that close FOB's family are insisting the baby stays with them every weekend and for 2 days during the week ... I don't know them at all and even if I did this would not happen until the baby was old enough!

 

[Bethanymh]

If you're not happy with something, that's what matters. No way can they have your baby for that amount of time. You live in the South? I live near Portsmouth. xx

 

[pinkneon]

I live in Brighton. FOB's police check came back - chec k out 3rd tri there's a post in there on the 2nd page about what it says ... It's not good though!

 

[ProzacQueen]

unless something has changed recently and someone can correct me if im wrong but grandparents and other family dont have any rights to contact so they can shove off

im fairly close to you guys too x