FoBs rights - Need advice and quick please! :(

[lilgemsy]

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[JoJo16]

if he isnt put on the BC he doesnt have any parental rights. you could offer him to come and see your son at your house once a week just so it looks like your not stopping him from seeing him, i offered twice for an hour. if he doesnt accept then you can go through solicitors and he would have to go to court to try getting his name on the BC. you do not have to leave your son alone with him and i wouldnt blame you after what happened at the hospital. hope you gettin everything sorted soon. oh and just to let you no. my FOB was sayin he was so bothered n wanted to be there for my baby n wanted full custody, within 3 months i got a letter saying he wanted no contact and ive heard nothing in a year. so just because hes bothered now doesnt mean it will stay that way.

 

[justlove]

unless he on the birth certificate he has no parental rights. Im not sure about FOB rights if he not on birth certificate but wants contact as my FOB happy walked away (it meant another drama for him to play the victim).

From my experience when LO was in hospital the nurses told me that they would not and could not stop FOB from coming upto special baby care unit as he was LO's dad, (they knew he was the dad because I asked if he wanted to be present at birth) even though he had been being verbally abusive on the phone on few occasions whilst i was in bits about taking my son down to the Special baby care unit and I advised them that that I was worried he would cause a scene, he likes a drama.

I did panic and text him a fib that they had heard him on the phone (he said some really nasty stuff) and that they advised him not to come up! He didnt dare show his face when I said that! Reason I done this was because I was dealing with my LO i couldnt deal with his 'its all about selfish him' He did use to ring the ward they would be very vague about what they told him and would say that his mum is with LO but I was too busy with LO to take calls I just used to say oh I ring him back.

BTW ur FOB sounds similar to my FOB and situation! I am surprised however that hospital are letting him in given that he had to be escorted of in the first place.

Hope someone can give you some better advice. Its shit having to go through all this especially after having your LO in special care x

 

[lilgemsy]

Thanks girls.
Im going to get Ollie registered tomorrow and wont be putting FOBs name on certificate. Then that way maybe he wont be allowed in the hospital. Ive read up and apparently FOBs name can be added to the BC at any time so if I change my mind in the future then I can.
Im just still in shock that the hospital know what a threat he can be seen as towards me and my child yet they still let him in >_<
Theyve now agreed to phone me though if he turns up and I live literally 2 mins away so I could get there ASAP

 

[kelzyboo]

I won't be telling FOB that i'm in labour or that baby has arrived until we are at home and settled in, it is anticipated that my LO will need to be in special care but hopefully only for a day or two if that, FOB will not even know he's been born.

I realize that it sounds very selfish but my daughter has Autism and needs time to get used to the new baby and we need to adjust as a family and i'm not having him anywhere near us while we do that. He isn't part of our family and for very good reasons none of his family will be allowed any contact at all with my LO (the courts wouldn't allow it and neither will i) and i know thats going to piss him off so i won't be notifying him of LO's birth until we are both home and well. He may have rights but so do i and so does my daughter and as we are LO's actual family i think our needs should come first!

I don't think they should be letting your FOB in after what he did tbh, i hope you can work something out soon the situation must be stressfull enough without drama from FOB and thats why i'm not telling mine lol xx

 

[lilgemsy]

I won't be telling FOB that i'm in labour or that baby has arrived until we are at home and settled in, it is anticipated that my LO will need to be in special care but hopefully only for a day or two if that, FOB will not even know he's been born.

I realize that it sounds very selfish but my daughter has Autism and needs time to get used to the new baby and we need to adjust as a family and i'm not having him anywhere near us while we do that. He isn't part of our family and for very good reasons none of his family will be allowed any contact at all with my LO (the courts wouldn't allow it and neither will i) and i know thats going to piss him off so i won't be notifying him of LO's birth until we are both home and well. He may have rights but so do i and so does my daughter and as we are LO's actual family i think our needs should come first!

I don't think they should be letting your FOB in after what he did tbh, i hope you can work something out soon the situation must be stressfull enough without drama from FOB and thats why i'm not telling mine lol xx

Its not selfish if you have good reasons for it
I hope your daughter adjusts well to the new addition ^_^

 

[kelzyboo]

Thankyou i hope so too x

I hope you find a solution, maybe talk with a solicitor and see where you stand, he can't be allowed to treat you that way in the hospital when its hard enough to have a child in special care, you could ask for a temporary order asking him to stay away from the hospital until he changes his attitude? Hope it works out xx