Forcep delivery

[Teri7489]

I'm hoping someone can have the answer to this annoying problem I have.

I had my daughter 6 months ago and I'm still traumatised by it now. I went in to labour at 7pm but managed to stay at home until 3am using paracetamol and a TEN's machine. We phoned the hospital, went up then was admitted as I was 5cm dilated. I couldn't deal with the pain much longer and wasn't suitable to go in the pool (due to hip problems) so had the epidural at 5:30. I was told at 7 am that it would be late afternoon before I had the baby as it was my first so sent my husband home for some sleep. 30 minutes later I was ready to push so phoned him to come back. I pushed until 10am without any pain relief as my epi failed and no staff were available to resite it. G+a just made me feel really sick.

At 10am they said baby was stuck so they needed to help me to which I refused. I remember the mw saying that it would take a while for them to set up so if I got baby out before that then they wouldn't help.

Next thing I know, I'm in stirrups having local anaesthetic injections in to my bits and then I was cut. Even though I was screaming the place down from the pain they didn't give me anything else. The forceps were then put in, I was told to give a big push then my daughter as born. They told me at this point that she was back to back and that's why I needed help. I suffered a 4th degree tear needing 75 stitches which took two hours straight after I gave birth, I got about 4 minutes skin to skin with my daughter before being wheeled away to theatre. I

What I wonder is, shouldn't I have gone to theatre for a forcep delivery. If i had, would I have had so much pain? Would I have had such bad injuries afterward. I'm now incontinet of faeces, suffered pain almost every day from scar tissue and suffer terrible nightmares about it. I'm waiting to see a therapist about it as I'm still so traumatised.

Thanks for reading xxx

 

[chicky160]

Oh sweetie I feel your pain. In fact our birth stories are identical. Except for my placenta exploded and I had that manually removed, as in by hand

I have no idea IF we should've been moved, I think most people are but I wasn't either. I think because there wasn't time? It was never really explained to me either they just did it.

The biggest issue for me was the bonding with my son after he was born. It was hours after I'd had him and I now know that time is so important. Did they take you to theatre to be stitched? Mine were done there and then because there was so much blood.

As for pain I'm now 11 months post and still have good and bad days with bm's. That first one, omg

Big hugs to you sweetie, I don't have many answers but know you aren't alone

 

[Teri7489]

Thank you so much for your reply!

I found bonding with Isabella very difficult. It was only when I was admitted to hospital with gallbladder problems for nine days when she was seven weeks (missing her first christmas) that I realised just how much I loved her, before then I really struggled.

I just find the whole situation hard to deal with as I don't understand. They told me I had time to push her out, so why didn't they have time to give me adequate pain relief or take me to theatre? They had a whole team of people outside for me as my BP dropped dangerously low, and a team for Isabella as her heart rate done the same. I then went to theatre for stitches and when I came back she was asleep. I sent my husband home as he had been awake for three whole days and was beat. I saw a mw for ten minutes while I was wheeled to the ward then only seen nursery nurses. I asked my GP these questions but was told that since they were monitoring me for PND then it wouldn't be suitable to discuss the matter.

I don't want Isabella to grow up an only child but really can't face pregnancy and delivery. It would be a c- section but after the delivery and treatment I received (or lack of) with my gallbladder I have very little faith in the NHS

Sorry for ranting xxx

 

[chicky160]

Rant away sweetie, it's obv affecting you, and we are here for support and advice always

I think I've read somewhere that you are legally allowed access to your labour notes! I'm pretty sure there's a hospital department you have to write to and obv there's a small fee for the service but maybe it would be a good idea to look into it? I've thought about it also. You could then possibly take it to a hv or see if there's any way you could get to speak to a local mw who could explain it all to you? I've often thought about doing that myself. My epi also failed on one side, Ronnie was back to back and trying to come out through my hip because his head was too big for my pelvis! I'm not a very small person but apparently my pelvis is and his head was hugggeee! 98th centile. Luckily I had my mum there with me so I only know what I know from what she remembers, but it's something at least. It doesn't make sense if you had time to push why they didn't offer you pain relief, I don't understand that part at all, I can't imagine the pain it must've been absolutely horrendous for you. I personally found the mental and physical healing worse than labour. I didn't realise how affected I was until I had a drs appointment for something completely different, she asked about my delivery and I just broke down

I'll have a look and see if I can dig up where I read about the notes for you, I'm pretty sure it was the nhs website?

I know what you mean about the thought of having to give birth again, it's terrifying which is a shame because I personally loved being pregnant!

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[teal]

I think whether or not they do forceps in theatre depends on how quickly they need baby out and I suppose the confidence of the doctor.

I had an emergency forceps delivery so it was done in the birthing room. My sons heart rate kept dropping and they needed him out. It was very quick from decision to birth. A few minutes. Unfortunately I had an episiotomy and separate 4th degree tear. I had a PPH and was in theatre for 3 hours being stitched up. My son is four and I'm still traumatised thinking about it. It definitely played a big part in my postpartum depression. It does get easier though xx

 

[Teri7489]

I remember them saying that baby had to come out soon as they were worried, but it seemed to be quite a bit of time before they did anything. Although I did sense some panic in the room. I think I will request to see the notes just so I can understand a bit better. I know nothing will change about what happened but maybe I'll be able to move on if I know more? I thought I was pregnant last week and cried as I sat in the toilet in town waiting on it. I thought there was a line and freaked! I would love to have another baby but I just don't think I could do it myself. I would go through it all again for my gorgeous babygirl who I love more than anything but damn it has ruined me mentally. I still have really bad days where I just think about it all the time. I then can't sleep, then I'm shattered next day and it's starting to spiral out of control.

I don't know when I'll get to see the therapist as I had to cancel my first appointment as I was in hospital at the time. They haven't got back to me with another appointment so may havea to go back to my GP.

Thanks again ladies xxx

 

[baby_crazy]

Hi, just wanted to chip in as your birth experience sounds very like mine. I had an epidural which stopped working and they couldn't fix it so had forceps delivery with only G&A - then the local injections to numb for stitching didn't work. Afterwards I got an infection in my womb and at my stitches plus a haematoma at my stitches which was more painful than giving birth!

I also struggled to bond with my daughter - I always loved her but it took months before I would look at her and think just how much I adore her!!

Like you I'm also now bowel incontinent (16months after having my DD) due to nerve and muscle damage. I'm currently undergoing biofeedback therapy to try to improve things. I'm also waiting on a referral to see if my episiotomy needs re-done as I have lots of scar tissue and sex still hurts even now. The doctor says I might have vaginismus as a result of having a difficult birth.

I too am struggling with the thought of having another baby even though it'd be a C-section the thought still terrifies me. Although I desperately hope I'll overcome this fear as I'd love another baby.

Sorry for hijacking your post with my rant but it feels good to get it off my chest!

 

[Teri7489]

Oh please don't apologise, share your stories. It strangely does feel better took have written it down and can see it. And also for people to believe just how difficult it is feels amazing. For others to understand the sheer pain of the whole thing, how skin to skin was ruined, how you don't get to walk away remembering your birth in a good way. My husband was there, and often tells me he could see just how hard it was and he's so proud of me. But I've got this thing in my brain that unrationally screams that he just doesn't understand. It was the final straw when I sat and actually poo'd myself ok the sofa in front of hi. I couldn't move because of pain and it just happened. I just sat and cried then told him to leave while I sorted myself out.

I've requested to have my notes but so far no good. I'll keep trying. Hope you ladies are ok! Xxx

 

[baby_crazy]

the bowel problems are awful aren't they? I had over 80% nerve damage so I don't know I need to go to the loo until I'm about to go couple that with the muscle damage and I have literally 1-2min at the most to get to the bathroom or I'd have an accident - it's horrendous . Have you had any appointments with a colorectal specialist to see what they can do for you?

I think husbands try to be understanding but can't really appreciate what we went through / are still going through.


You should definitely be able to get your notes. My doctor said it's prob a good idea to go through the notes before thinking about having another baby but I don't want to relive any of it - a lot of the labour and birth is very hazy to me and I think I'm best trying to block it all out! That's just me though and I know that going through the notes really helps some people come to terms with a difficult birth. xxx

 

[tristansmum]

Does your hospital offer a post birth service at all. Mine offers an after thoughts service where a midwife will go through your noteswith you.
In terms of fforceps and theatre I think it depends on the situation, experience of doctor and availability of an operating room. That said I was rushed round to theatres for forceps with my first. At that point I had no pain relief and they gave me a full spinal block in theatre even though it was an emergency. In the end I had a c section as forceps didn't work so can't comment any further. Thinking of all you ladies and I hope things get better soon

 

[cncem]

Oh my goodness, that is really rough! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. The doctors had to use forceps during both my deliveries and I never had to leave the room I was in at the hospital. Both times I had to be stitched up. I didn't have any other problems though, and my epi took so didn't feel things too much. Reading all the replies makes up my mind that I do want a section, if given the option. I hate that you went through that, and hope you can overcome the trama.

 

[Teri7489]

Thank you lovely ladies

I got an appointment through to have an anal ultrasound and flexible sigmoidoscopy but couldn't do. I've had 17 admissions since my daughter was born with my gallbladder so haven't had the chance. With the tummy pains and diarrhoea I couldn't face doing an enema then pooing myself in the taxi on the way to the hospital. So having to wait til this all calms down before I can go back to the doctor about that.

I haven't heard back about my notes so going to have to bug them some more!

My husband wants another baby so bad but I honestly don't think I will ever be able to face it again. I used to get jealous when I seen other pregnant women (before I had Isabella) but now I feel sorry for them lol xxx