Formula feeding from birth (Second time mums).

[sweetcheeks85]

So im already stressing about how im going to feed my second baby

I breastfed my first DS for 6 weeks but really struggled with the demands of breastfeeding and never felt entirley comfortable breastfeeding if im 100 per cent honest. I remembering feeling relieved when he went onto formula even though I was extremely proud of myself for lasting as long as i did.

I am considering formula feeding from birth this time but really cant help feeling guilty about this already even though I know my DS thrived on formula and is a healthy and happy 3 year old now. My husband would like me to try and breastfeed again even if its just for a week or two, but I just dont know if there is any point if my heart isnt set on it

My midwife has also made the assumption that I will BF again this time as I did with my first, and i really dont know how to speak to her about this.

Please dont judge x

 

[skunkpixie]

Heya. I BF my first for 22 months, but I decided to FF my second from birth! Alot of people might think Im crazy but I know that I made the right decision for our family. It made life sooooooo much easier in the beginning and made looking after 2 little ones alot less stressful as I wasnt having to worry about cluster feeding, sore nipples, correct latch and other potential BF troubles.

Just do what YOU think will be best for you and your baby. Tell your husband that it would be a weight off your mind if he could be supportive of FF from birth.
I have no real advise about telling your community midwife that you will not be breastfeeding. Its not like you have to run the decision by her first. When your baby is born just do it! They didnt even ask me if i was BF or FF my second, I guess they just assumed I would BF as I BF my first for so long. xxx

 

[sweetcheeks85]

Thank you so much for your reply. You have made me feel so much better, going to speak to my DH tonight and see what he says. I ll keep a fairly open mind as I might feel differently once LO arrives but I agree I think it will be alot easier FF especially having two LO's to look after xx

 

[dizz]

Stick to what you're comfortable with. I'm 50/50 on which way I'll go - I'll make the decision after the birth based on what happens then (last time we had a nightmare with prematurity, a horrific hospital stay and a knackered breast pump... I won't do all of that again!). My mental health won't stand up to another ordeal like we went through before..

My midwife knows my position - I think she knows me better than to push me either way on it! She just ticks the box that she's asked the question - which I know she has to do.

 

[Vigreybrance]

I was in the same position, with my first I had terrible problems breastfeeding, felt pressured into it and my LO ended up needing phototherapy as she just wasn't getting enough and had jaundice. This time round I decided I wasn't going to allow that to happen again, ad I took bottles and formula into the hospital. When my ds was born (6weeks ago) the midwife didn't pressure me at all and my ds started rooting straight away, I decided to give it a go and just see how it went as the colostrum would be good for him even if I didn't bf. He latched on really well and is gentle, so for the last weeks I have been both breastfeeding and topping up with formula, and I've found breastfeeding much easier now I'm not putting any pressure on myself. My health visitor said combining is almost as good as exclusive breastfeeding as he is still getting the boost for this immune system. This way I have the best of both worlds. To be honest I don't know how anyone copes with breastfeeding exclusively if they already have another child to run around after especially during the night with the constant feeding.
I would advise you just keep an open mind and do what you feel is right for you at the time, not what other people tell you to do. What's most important is that you are as happy as possible because it is HARD enough dealing with a newborn and your other child never mind adding extra pressure.

 

[Mummythree]

At the end of the day it's YOUR choice Not the midwives not your hubby. YOU would be the one doing all the feeds and if you had any probs YOU would be the one dealing with them. so dont let anyone else make you breastfeed if you don't want to.

I breastfed dd1 for 1day, i wasn't planning to bfing anyways. i was young, a single mum and didnt have any support so i ff which was the right desicion for me.

I bf dd2 for 14months but my god it was terribly hard, dd2 was not thriving for the first few months so had to put her on formula top ups. i tried expressing as well as breastfeeding but it was killing me. it was so so hard and was under so much pressure from hvs and i had pnd. i went onto bf for 14months but it was so hard.

Ds i never thought i wouldnt be able to breastfeed the probs i overcame with dd2 and the legnth of time i breastfed. on day 2 my milk came in and by day 5 i had to stop, i had no choice at all. ds could not latch i spent the time trying to express to make my boobs go down instead of sleep didnt do anything. ds could not latch my boobs were too engorged trying to express for hours and various mws trying to help did not help. so i had no choice but to switch to ff. it wasnt fair on me, ds or my other kids plus i was in terrible pain.

if i had another i dodnt think id put myself through that again id most likely ff from the start. it is bloody hard and its ok for everyone else to tell you what to do but its you thats doing it not them. so make a desicon thats right for YOU and stuff what anyone else says. xx

 

[Bats11]

I BF my first daughter, but chose to FF my second daughter 3 days after birth as I did want to give her my colostrum and then I chose to BF my third daughter but could only do it for 8wks as I kept getting mastitis. I believe you do what you feel is right for you and your family, dont put too much pressure on yourself xx

 

[Laucu]

I BF my daughter for 12 weeks but only BF my son for 2 weeks. I found it a lot harder to do whilst looking after a toddler...I felt like I was glued to the sofa/chair all day when my daughter wanted to play. I was also a lot more tired with 2 to look after so found it great being able to share the responsibility of feeding. My husband was unemployed at the time so helped me with night feeds too.

Do what is right for you and your family, and don't beat yourself up about FFing. It is great to BF but there is nothing wrong or bad about formula!! We are lucky to have the choice so take advantage and pick what works best and keeps everyone happy!

 

[aimee-lou]

I've FFd both my boys from birth - absolutely nothing wrong with doing what you feel is right. A relaxed Mum makes a relaxed family

 

[sweetcheeks85]

Thank you for all the replies, I am going to keep an open mind and not put myself under any unneeded pressure x

 

[Vickie]

I simply asked my OB if I needed to bring anything in since I planned to FF/what the hospital's policy was. He answered my questions without any judgement. At the hospital I told the nurse before labor had really established that I planned to FF and she wrote it down in my notes and it wasn't really mentioned after that.

I did end up sending hubby to get all the bottles but hey I'd just delivered a baby so figured it was the least he could do

 

[socitycourty]

If I have another baby (which is definitely up in the air) I'd like to BF again for longer (if it works out) but I will not drive myself insane trying to do it.

I lasted nearly 8 weeks with my DD and it turned out she had some allergies and sensitivities and she was just not tolerating the BM. I tried the diet, everything and just ran myself into the ground. Gave her formula for a day and she was a completely different baby .

i still feel horribly guilty (i'm waiting for that to go away) and I hate the extra cost of formula (which I had not planned on!)

if there's a #2 I'd like to BF for 6 months, hopefully it works out.

but i'm not pressuring myself and giving myself PPD a second time

 

[socitycourty]

Forgot to write what I meant to! I was FF from birth as was my sister, my mom said they never gave her any flack, just said OK and gave her the bottles.

Just be firm and don't let anyone sway you. It is YOUR body, YOUR choice.