Friends pregnancy announcement

[Nattie08]

Hi all,

I'm not too sure whether this is in the right place, but I have a friend who miscarried about February time this year. She was only 6 weeks pregnant when she actually announced the pregnancy on her Facebook status. She found there was no heart beat at her 12 weeks scan.

I've just found out she's pregnant again and has already announced it on her status again yet she's only 4 weeks pregnant!! What can I say to her to stop her announcing this?

She was understandably devastated when she lost her last one and many people had said to her at the time that she should keep it quiet next time so as not to jinx it or anything, yet she has announced it even earlier. I'm just worried that if it all goes wrong for her again this could be the last straw for her. She is rather fragile and still has pictures of her scan up from her previous baby. I just want some words of advice as to how to approach her with this.

Thanks in advance

 

[AG75]

Sounds like she's already gone and announced it so there isn't much you can do. Maybe she's not bothered if people find out about a m/c. I know I made the mistake years ago of annoucing too soon and now I know better than to that again. But for some people maybe it just doesn't bother them.

 

[Nattie08]

Sounds like she's already gone and announced it so there isn't much you can do. Maybe she's not bothered if people find out about a m/c. I know I made the mistake years ago of annoucing too soon and now I know better than to that again. But for some people maybe it just doesn't bother them.

Yeah I guess so, it just feels like she's almost tempting fate by announcing it way too early again. I just feel at a loss as to how to congratulate her etc. She lost hers just after I gave birth to mine which made things ten times harder to face her afterwards. I just wish she had kept it secret at least till her 12 week scan.

 

[Round2]

Some people find it easier when everyone knows. After my first MC, I wanted everyone to know - I needed the support. I actually felt awful for not telling people, because when I did miscarry - I ended up telling them anyways. I also found that alot of people would ask me when I was planning on having another child. After i told them what happend, they just stopped prodding. I ended up even telling people that I didn't know very well. When people asked me how I was, I just couldn't hide the sadness. I felt better when I didn't need to hide the sadness.

Yes, it's uncomfortable for other people when things go bad, but it's nothing compared to the pain of loosing a baby.

If this is how your friend has chosen to deal with this, then I think you should support her decision. It may not be how you would deal with the situation, but everyone grieves differently.

 

[hb1]

I had only told a few people before my mc last year, in fact the first my manager knew was when I called her to tell her i wouldn't be in due to my mc, other people didn't know i had been pg when i explained i had had a mc.

This time I told more people straight away - particularly close friends and family and people I work closely with - partly as I knew I would be emotional being pg after a mc but also incase the worst did happen again. I am 32 weeks tomorrow.

Anything your friend says about this pg is not going to jinx it or fate it to end tragically, and it didn't tempt fate the last time - there really is no such thing. The best thing you can do as a friend is be there for her as she worries about how her pg is progressing - sometimes all you do is worry when other people who haven't experienced loss can find more excitement and happiness - and she deserves to enjoy it even if it's just a day or so here and there. It is good to be hopeful and not fretting that it's all going wrong again.

Just be happy for her and there for her.

hx

 

[momof3kids]

I have always told everyone I know right away with all of my pregnancies. Our last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. And I don't think it affected me negatively that everyone knew. They were GOING to see me crying and see the pain in my eyes and ask anyway, if they were people that cared so much about me. THEN I would have to tell them anyhow.
We have bee ttc for 9 months now since our miscarriage, with no BFP I am heartbroken every month. MOST of everyone I know, knows that we are trying. They are praying for us and are here if I need to talk to them (like when 4 ppl I know have gotten pregnant and some given birth already since then etc). I will tell everyone AGAIN when I am pregnant and just pray and trust in God that He has a plan. I KNOW He is holding our baby #4 right now. He will make good out of everything and I trust in Him for that. Even, no ESPECIALLY when it is hard.
SO basically, I wouldn't try to talk your friend out of letting ppl know. This is her choice and her way of dealing with it. Even if she does have a miscarriage again (God forbid...lets pray not) she has a reason of telling everyone. Just love her and be there for her.

 

[Leanne020807]

theres not much you can do to stop her it sounds like shes done it already! sometimes it helps when people know about your MC i had one 7 months ago and i didnt tell anyone i was PG so no one knew i had a MC and it was very hard for me as my OH wouldnt talk about it, luckly i had a friend who had had 2 MC'S so i spoke to her about it but if she does MC again and someone doesnt know and askes hows bump that can be very hurtful for her