Friends with someone who's views I despise?

[emyandpotato]

Does anyone have a friend who has completely different views on the majority of social and political issues to your own? I have a few friends who are absolutely lovely people and who I get on with really well in real life and who are great with Rory but who piss me off so much on Facebook that it's unreal. There are nonstop disgusting racist statuses, offensive and idiotic comments, a complete disregard for anyone of another culture... Thing is if it wasn't for the internet, this wouldn't be an issue. I have often commented saying that I disagree but I sense that I'm starting to really annoy a few people with my constant meddling as it must seem. I have tried ignoring the statuses but they seem to be constant. Don't know whether to end my friendship because of this, which seems a shame?! But I feel I cannot just sit and say nothing and if I carry on telling her I think she's wrong she's gonna just start ignoring me anyway.

 

[Jade--x]

I have. One of which I had a huge rant at the other day, but usually I don't really go on Facebook so I don't see them.

I think it depends how much their friendship means to you. If it's something that's only a problem on facebook, then I'd maybe select their updates not to come up on your wall, then you're not having to see them and get wound up about them, but if it was something that carried on into face to face conversations and things I probably would. While I think you have to respect that they're entitled to their opinion, they have to respect that so are you and if they know you don't agree on it it should be an 'agree to disagree' thing that they shouldn't bring up around you x

 

[louandivy]

Hmmmmmm, this is such a tricky situation. I think we are quite similar in that we have quite strong political/moral opinions! Some of my old friends can sometimes say some pretty offensive stuff (luckily that is quite rare) but I tend to be more forgiving of people who have been in my life for a long time. If it was someone I had only recently befriended I probably wouldn't have much of a desire to keep up the friendship, as I find it really difficult to respect people who are completely idiotic about certain subjects, it would really irritate me too.

 

[xVAP]

Do they make comments like that when you're spending time together? If they are then tbh I would probably not be able to keep my mouth shut and I'd probably end up falling out with them. However if it was mostly kept on Facebook, I'd opt to hide their posts. I will voice my opinion, especially on culture arguements as my dad is Italian, but I tend to choose my battles. If its not worth losing a valued friendship I would probably just bite my tongue.

 

[Tegans Mama]

To be frank, I have different opinions to the majority of my friends and family so I'm used to being the odd one out. I try and keep my mouth shut unless it's something I really disagree with

 

[Eternal]

I disagree with lots of my friends, sometimes I will say something and others I won't, life would be very boring of we were all the same, of they were highly offensive, I.e. racist, I would say something, then if they choose to end the relationship that is their choice.

In fairness I tend to say how I feel I person more than on Facebook, for the most part I bite my tongue.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I've had a similar thing going on with some friends but the other way around, people disagreeing with my views and the way I live. It's upto you how you go about it but in my case I got sick of having the views of others, that I completely disagree with but am far too polite to say, shoved down my throat - and have gradually phased out these friendships.

I have friends who are just far too different to me morally that I sort of 'keep' for different social situations, but who aren't or are no longer 'best' friends and I don't see regularly because we're just too different. That sounds awful and using but it's generally a mutual thing

 

[emyandpotato]

I know I probably should mind my tongue and ignore what she says and most of the time I do but then there are certain occasions when I just can't keep quiet because I'm so shocked. It's kind of like that thread on discrimination; I don't think that people should think it's acceptable to be completely racist or ignorant or offensive.

 

[TennisGal]

Most of my examples of this type of situation arise from friends with differing political views. I've friends who are real Thatcherites, and I'm (clearly) not! We all know we think differently, but respect each other enough not to fall out over politics.

However, if someone I was friends with was an out and out racist, I don't think we would be friends. I couldn't bite my lip, and I don't think I'd want to be friends with someone who took such an offensive stance on a fellow human being.

 

[TennisGal]

Ps, ot, but your avatar is very cute!

 

[xhanne]

well I think just like how they can voice their opinion I think u can too,why should u bite ur tongue if u don't agree to something ? if they are ur friends than they should know that friends agree and disagree on stuff..doesn't mean u always have to agree to what they say!

 

[staralfur]

I have a VERY VERY conservative and religious friend, and I'm very liberal...we are polar opposites. We're not close at all, but I see her often as we have tons of mutual friends.

I've gotten into a few arguments with her on Facebook but we're able to remain friendly in person. Luckily she doesn't post too often. I think if she was posting things I strongly disagreed with on a regular basis I'd just delete her off of Facebook and tell her the next time I saw her that I just didn't want to end up disliking each other due to Facebook squabbles.