M
MamaLoCo
Guest
My beautiful daughter was born on August 8th, 2015. She was 7 lbs 15 oz and 21.44 inches long with a full head of hair.
My plan was for a natural, unmedicated vaginal birth. I wanted no pain killers, no epidural, absolutely no induction via Pitocin, and I said if they tried to give me a C-section, I'd run out of there. For my prenatal care, I (thankfully) used an ObGyn and planned for a hospital birth, instead of going with the natural birthing center; and it's probably a good thing because my plan for all natural and free of interventions turned into intervention city and I wound up having an emergency C-section after 31 hours.
My due date was set at August 14th. I knew I ovulated early so the due date I chose to go by was between the 7th and 10th. I was telling people that shed probably come on the 8th but I keep myself in slight denial of these things, just as I did when I knew I was pregnant but bought tampons instead of a pregnancy test, even though, any other month, Id wait until I knew for sure.
Mid-morning August 7th is when it all began, exactly one week prior to my due date and the day before I suspected Id go into labor. I had slept in. It was 10:00am and I realized my water had broken, or was breaking. There was no big gush, no large amount trickling down, and it seemed to stop so I wasnt really certain that was it. In case it was, I decided to go ahead and notify my hubby (who rushed home from work even though I told him not to, since I wasnt sure), take a shower, and wait a while to see if more would come out, or if I started having contractions. I called my OBs office and they told me I could come in at 1pm and theyd test the fluid to determine whether or not it was my amniotic fluid but if it was, theyd send me to the hospital. I opted to just go ahead and head to Labor & Delivery. I wasnt having strong contractions yet but I was told to go in when my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart OR if my water broke. Even though I wasnt sure it was my water, I knew it could just be my denial setting in again, so I told my husband it was time to go.
We arrived at the hospital and were taken to the Labor & Delivery Emergency unit. Its basically a separate ER for the womens center. They hooked me up to be monitored and my water was definitely coming out at this point. I was checked for dilation and was at 3cm. They told me my contractions were about 4 minutes apart but I didnt feel anything just the same Braxton Hicks Id been having for weeks. Eventually, I was admitted to Labor & Delivery and set up in the room where I was intended to deliver. There was a communication board in my room where the nurses wrote my goals and how they can best assist. That included supporting natural labor, as few interventions as possible, and a goal of having my baby as quickly as possible. The nurse left out that I said my REAL goal was to NOT GET CUT OPEN!! They had me walk up and down a long hallway, let me diffuse clary sage oil in the room, had me use the breast pump, and the birthing ball, to naturally induce labor.
At 10pm, I had made no progress and the doctor wanted to induce me. I said I didnt want to be induced, be up all night laboring, and then be too tired to push when the time came, so she let me sleep to decide in the morning. Around 4:30am, Id been having contractions for a while and I was making no progress. My husband was asleep while I had to get out of bed every few minutes to ride out contractions so I began feeling desperate and alone. Since I wanted to avoid Pitocin and an epidural at all costs, the nurse finally convinced me to give in to a lesser form of induction and pain relief. Demoral & Phenergan for pain, and Cytotec (misoprostol) to induce. I regret accepting that because it did not work. It relieved the pain a little bit, so I slept through the contractions; however, once it wore off, they were even more painful than before and Id only dilated to 4.5cm.
At 10am, 24 hours after my water broke, I gave in to the epidural and Pitocin. My doctor was basically telling me that shed have to do a C-section if I kept progressing so slowly. Since my water had been broken so long, the longer we waited, the higher risk I was for developing an infection that would be passed on to baby. I was willing to do anything to avoid that, so I accepted and felt like I was betraying myself. I slept a lot and the epidural really did make me feel much better. Eventually, I was checked again and had reached 9.5 and I was so relieved the induction was working.
Around 4pm, a nurse told me I was completely dilated and the baby was effaced at about 0. She had me push to see if I was ready but it didnt move the baby at all so I was to give it a little more time. When the doctor came in, she said I was NOT complete but still at 9.5cm and probably still -1 effaced. I heard her come in and tell my husband that I was more than likely going to have to have a C-section but I pretended to be asleep because it was so upsetting to hear. A while later, the doctor stormed in telling me she couldnt watch my monitors anymore. My contractions still werent close enough together (I blame the epidural for this) and the Pitocin would not be turned back on to speed them up because the baby went into decline every time it was on. Everything was unfolding exactly as all the natural birthing books and documentaries described it would. She told me I had to go through with the C-section; otherwise I was going to get an infection from having no amniotic fluid left. At this point, it had been 30 hours already and the on-call doctor told me that my OB would NEVER have let anyone go this long so I knew shed waited as long as she could and my body and baby just werent responding.
Realizing I really had no safe choices to make, I started sobbing as soon as the doctor left the room. My nurses came in to get my verbal consent to the procedure and asked if my husband and I needed more time to talk about it. I told them we didnt know what we were talking about so it wouldnt do any good to leave us alone just because I was crying. I asked all the questions I could and gave them my consent. I had already been given all the guilt trips about how, as a mother, Ill have to do plenty of things that I dont want to do. This was just the first sacrifice Id have to make to do what was best for my child, whether its what I had in mind or not. Frankly, it all seemed a little patronizing to me because I didnt trust that anything up until that point was what was best for me OR her. I also just kept it to myself, that for years, I had a very strong fear that I would die during childbirth, so every intervention just made that fear grow stronger and stronger.
My husband was given his fancy surgical garb to wear and while I was being prepped, he moved our things to the recovery room Id be in. I was cut open and being worked on before my husband was even in the room next to me to sooth my uncontrollable shaking. I had him on one side and our anesthesiologist on the other. Between words of support, we just listened to them talking about hospital politics. At 4:58pm I heard it, the sound of my baby crying. It brought me to tears and all I wanted was to see her and touch her. I heard the doctor commenting on my uterus and placenta. I had indeed started getting an infection. She said I felt hotter than I should and had to remove puss that was forming. Due to the infection, baby had to be taken to the NICU to be tested and my husband was informed of all of this while I was finished up on. While I was being closed back up, they brought my baby over to me and I was able to see her and kiss her but I still couldnt hold her. She was perfect and beautiful and my husband assured me, 10 fingers and 10 toes.
Once I was back in a private room, the NICU nurses brought my baby to try to nurse. She had been given donor milk in the meantime. I remember being so sweaty that my husband and nurses were wiping sweat off of my face. She had tested free of infection but some levels were higher than they liked so she had to go back to the NICU until about 11:30pm and was then allowed to stay with us in our room. The NICU nurses would come in to check on her every few hours, and the Labor & Delivery nurses came in to check on me every few hours. Needless to say, I didnt get a lot of sleep. Still devastated by the circumstances, I knew that ultimately, the C-section was probably inevitable from the moment my water broke. Im just glad that we both made it out okay and shes a happy, healthy baby with happy, healthy parents to love her.
My plan was for a natural, unmedicated vaginal birth. I wanted no pain killers, no epidural, absolutely no induction via Pitocin, and I said if they tried to give me a C-section, I'd run out of there. For my prenatal care, I (thankfully) used an ObGyn and planned for a hospital birth, instead of going with the natural birthing center; and it's probably a good thing because my plan for all natural and free of interventions turned into intervention city and I wound up having an emergency C-section after 31 hours.
My due date was set at August 14th. I knew I ovulated early so the due date I chose to go by was between the 7th and 10th. I was telling people that shed probably come on the 8th but I keep myself in slight denial of these things, just as I did when I knew I was pregnant but bought tampons instead of a pregnancy test, even though, any other month, Id wait until I knew for sure.
Mid-morning August 7th is when it all began, exactly one week prior to my due date and the day before I suspected Id go into labor. I had slept in. It was 10:00am and I realized my water had broken, or was breaking. There was no big gush, no large amount trickling down, and it seemed to stop so I wasnt really certain that was it. In case it was, I decided to go ahead and notify my hubby (who rushed home from work even though I told him not to, since I wasnt sure), take a shower, and wait a while to see if more would come out, or if I started having contractions. I called my OBs office and they told me I could come in at 1pm and theyd test the fluid to determine whether or not it was my amniotic fluid but if it was, theyd send me to the hospital. I opted to just go ahead and head to Labor & Delivery. I wasnt having strong contractions yet but I was told to go in when my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart OR if my water broke. Even though I wasnt sure it was my water, I knew it could just be my denial setting in again, so I told my husband it was time to go.
We arrived at the hospital and were taken to the Labor & Delivery Emergency unit. Its basically a separate ER for the womens center. They hooked me up to be monitored and my water was definitely coming out at this point. I was checked for dilation and was at 3cm. They told me my contractions were about 4 minutes apart but I didnt feel anything just the same Braxton Hicks Id been having for weeks. Eventually, I was admitted to Labor & Delivery and set up in the room where I was intended to deliver. There was a communication board in my room where the nurses wrote my goals and how they can best assist. That included supporting natural labor, as few interventions as possible, and a goal of having my baby as quickly as possible. The nurse left out that I said my REAL goal was to NOT GET CUT OPEN!! They had me walk up and down a long hallway, let me diffuse clary sage oil in the room, had me use the breast pump, and the birthing ball, to naturally induce labor.
At 10pm, I had made no progress and the doctor wanted to induce me. I said I didnt want to be induced, be up all night laboring, and then be too tired to push when the time came, so she let me sleep to decide in the morning. Around 4:30am, Id been having contractions for a while and I was making no progress. My husband was asleep while I had to get out of bed every few minutes to ride out contractions so I began feeling desperate and alone. Since I wanted to avoid Pitocin and an epidural at all costs, the nurse finally convinced me to give in to a lesser form of induction and pain relief. Demoral & Phenergan for pain, and Cytotec (misoprostol) to induce. I regret accepting that because it did not work. It relieved the pain a little bit, so I slept through the contractions; however, once it wore off, they were even more painful than before and Id only dilated to 4.5cm.
At 10am, 24 hours after my water broke, I gave in to the epidural and Pitocin. My doctor was basically telling me that shed have to do a C-section if I kept progressing so slowly. Since my water had been broken so long, the longer we waited, the higher risk I was for developing an infection that would be passed on to baby. I was willing to do anything to avoid that, so I accepted and felt like I was betraying myself. I slept a lot and the epidural really did make me feel much better. Eventually, I was checked again and had reached 9.5 and I was so relieved the induction was working.
Around 4pm, a nurse told me I was completely dilated and the baby was effaced at about 0. She had me push to see if I was ready but it didnt move the baby at all so I was to give it a little more time. When the doctor came in, she said I was NOT complete but still at 9.5cm and probably still -1 effaced. I heard her come in and tell my husband that I was more than likely going to have to have a C-section but I pretended to be asleep because it was so upsetting to hear. A while later, the doctor stormed in telling me she couldnt watch my monitors anymore. My contractions still werent close enough together (I blame the epidural for this) and the Pitocin would not be turned back on to speed them up because the baby went into decline every time it was on. Everything was unfolding exactly as all the natural birthing books and documentaries described it would. She told me I had to go through with the C-section; otherwise I was going to get an infection from having no amniotic fluid left. At this point, it had been 30 hours already and the on-call doctor told me that my OB would NEVER have let anyone go this long so I knew shed waited as long as she could and my body and baby just werent responding.
Realizing I really had no safe choices to make, I started sobbing as soon as the doctor left the room. My nurses came in to get my verbal consent to the procedure and asked if my husband and I needed more time to talk about it. I told them we didnt know what we were talking about so it wouldnt do any good to leave us alone just because I was crying. I asked all the questions I could and gave them my consent. I had already been given all the guilt trips about how, as a mother, Ill have to do plenty of things that I dont want to do. This was just the first sacrifice Id have to make to do what was best for my child, whether its what I had in mind or not. Frankly, it all seemed a little patronizing to me because I didnt trust that anything up until that point was what was best for me OR her. I also just kept it to myself, that for years, I had a very strong fear that I would die during childbirth, so every intervention just made that fear grow stronger and stronger.
My husband was given his fancy surgical garb to wear and while I was being prepped, he moved our things to the recovery room Id be in. I was cut open and being worked on before my husband was even in the room next to me to sooth my uncontrollable shaking. I had him on one side and our anesthesiologist on the other. Between words of support, we just listened to them talking about hospital politics. At 4:58pm I heard it, the sound of my baby crying. It brought me to tears and all I wanted was to see her and touch her. I heard the doctor commenting on my uterus and placenta. I had indeed started getting an infection. She said I felt hotter than I should and had to remove puss that was forming. Due to the infection, baby had to be taken to the NICU to be tested and my husband was informed of all of this while I was finished up on. While I was being closed back up, they brought my baby over to me and I was able to see her and kiss her but I still couldnt hold her. She was perfect and beautiful and my husband assured me, 10 fingers and 10 toes.
Once I was back in a private room, the NICU nurses brought my baby to try to nurse. She had been given donor milk in the meantime. I remember being so sweaty that my husband and nurses were wiping sweat off of my face. She had tested free of infection but some levels were higher than they liked so she had to go back to the NICU until about 11:30pm and was then allowed to stay with us in our room. The NICU nurses would come in to check on her every few hours, and the Labor & Delivery nurses came in to check on me every few hours. Needless to say, I didnt get a lot of sleep. Still devastated by the circumstances, I knew that ultimately, the C-section was probably inevitable from the moment my water broke. Im just glad that we both made it out okay and shes a happy, healthy baby with happy, healthy parents to love her.
