FTM, can’t stop worrying about stillbirth

[EllenEmily]

Trigger warning, mention of still birth








I’m 24+3 with a boy, I’m 21 years old so my body is young, this is my first pregnancy, everything is fine with the baby... the only thing is I have a high BMI.. so obviously that creates risks, my midwife told me that stillborth is 1 in 100 if your overweight .. compares to 1 in 200 in a normal woman.. this has made me feel worse

I have no reason to be worried in terms of the baby’s health because he’s fine, , it’s just that I’ve read so much online about stillbirths, it seems so common, I’m in pregnancy groups on Facebook and everyday a woman posts about a past still birth, it’s really stressed me out and now I can’t stop worrying that I’ll lose my little boy before birth or after....
I’m also scared about a true knot in cord

It’s ruining my pregnancy, and I know I’m going to worry when I have to track kick counts... I guess I just want some reassurance, and if anyone wants to be my pen pal during this pregnancy then that would be nice, I’m due on October 14th x

 

[Brightxeyes]

Hello!

I've been having some wondering worrying thoughts too. The worst thing for it is reading things up on the internet to be honest. It just feeds my fears even more sometimes. I'm also comparing this pregnancy to my first, and it feels so different, I've generally felt rough, I've had a chest infection that seems to be lingering too, so I'm generally worrying about every little thing and wondering if it could hurt baby etc.

If you're worried about being overweight whilst pregnant could your midwife refer you to someone to help get your nutrition on track? There are ways to safely reduce excess weight, while baby is still healthy and gaining everything they need. Eg. A lot of pregnant women join Slimming World with a lot of success. I think you have to speak to your midwife for their advice before joining it though as I believe you get a little additional support?

I'm due October 10th, so we're very close together!

 

[doggylover]

I’m on to my 3rd baby (due Oct 17th) and I worry about things like this too. To be honest, I think it’s natural, to a certain extent. In the early days of pregnancy the worry is about miscarriage, and then those worries change. I can honestly say as a parent you never stop worrying. It’s part of being a mum, and that starts as soon as you know they are in there.

There is nothing to say that will allay your fears, I don’t think. Terrible things do happen, and we just have to pray they don’t happen to us.

Is it the idea of the birth itself? Or the time leading up to the birth? If the idea of something happening to baby during labour scares you, maybe an elective c section would help with that fear?

 

[kittylady]

Hi I was 22 with my first. I think with your first you are more on edge, I don't mean with subsequent children you don't worry, but its all so new with your first.


Unfortunately its not something you can change, some children do not make it to adulthood and you will worry about them because you love them so much, its natural.


I try to distract myself, do you know what kind of birth you want? Have you written a birth plan? Do you have a list of things you need for the baby? Do you know about feeding/nappy/weaning choices etc. If you are like me and you like to research things that are on your mind these sort of things are more positive to look into. Try to change your mindset and believe that your baby will make it, I know this is super hard but if you shift the attention to what you will do with baby you may feel more positive.


If it gets really bad, talk to your healthcare provider as you may be suffering from some form of anxiety or prenatal depression. Look after yourself

 

[Sander]

I just had my baby a few weeks ago and I worried about this alllll the time. 24 weeks is considered viable and when I hit that point it helped a lot. If anything were to become worrisome with the baby they can do so much to help at this gestation.

Also try and remember even if the odds are 1 in 100, that’s still a 99% chance of a perfectly healthy baby! But I know it’s tough, try and stay positive and you’ll be meeting your baby before you know it!

 

[EllenEmily]

I’m on to my 3rd baby (due Oct 17th) and I worry about things like this too. To be honest, I think it’s natural, to a certain extent. In the early days of pregnancy the worry is about miscarriage, and then those worries change. I can honestly say as a parent you never stop worrying. It’s part of being a mum, and that starts as soon as you know they are in there.

There is nothing to say that will allay your fears, I don’t think. Terrible things do happen, and we just have to pray they don’t happen to us.

Is it the idea of the birth itself? Or the time leading up to the birth? If the idea of something happening to baby during labour scares you, maybe an elective c section would help with that fear?

I’m not sure what it is.... I worry abit about during the birth incase something happens to me or the baby.. and I worry about it I have no movements and then I go into the hospital to find out my baby died from a placenta problem or something x

 

[EllenEmily]

Hi I was 22 with my first. I think with your first you are more on edge, I don't mean with subsequent children you don't worry, but its all so new with your first.


Unfortunately its not something you can change, some children do not make it to adulthood and you will worry about them because you love them so much, its natural.


I try to distract myself, do you know what kind of birth you want? Have you written a birth plan? Do you have a list of things you need for the baby? Do you know about feeding/nappy/weaning choices etc. If you are like me and you like to research things that are on your mind these sort of things are more positive to look into. Try to change your mindset and believe that your baby will make it, I know this is super hard but if you shift the attention to what you will do with baby you may feel more positive.


If it gets really bad, talk to your healthcare provider as you may be suffering from some form of anxiety or prenatal depression. Look after yourself

No I haven’t written a birth plan, I probally should look into that.. I’m getting the nursery done this weekend so hopefully that will make me more positive.. I just can NOT
Imagine bringing a baby home at all!! But then again I didn’t think I’d make it this far in pregnancy

 

[doggylover]

It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time with all the worry, the emotions and the hormones all combining. I think maybe chatting to your health care provider could both help you maybe allay some worries, but also let them know that you aren’t in a good place. It would also mean they should watch you carefully for PND, as that’s always a worry for me (I’ve never had it but I worry about it anyway).

 

[kittylady]

Hi I was 22 with my first. I think with your first you are more on edge, I don't mean with subsequent children you don't worry, but its all so new with your first.


Unfortunately its not something you can change, some children do not make it to adulthood and you will worry about them because you love them so much, its natural.


I try to distract myself, do you know what kind of birth you want? Have you written a birth plan? Do you have a list of things you need for the baby? Do you know about feeding/nappy/weaning choices etc. If you are like me and you like to research things that are on your mind these sort of things are more positive to look into. Try to change your mindset and believe that your baby will make it, I know this is super hard but if you shift the attention to what you will do with baby you may feel more positive.


If it gets really bad, talk to your healthcare provider as you may be suffering from some form of anxiety or prenatal depression. Look after yourself

No I haven’t written a birth plan, I probally should look into that.. I’m getting the nursery done this weekend so hopefully that will make me more positive.. I just can NOT
Imagine bringing a baby home at all!! But then again I didn’t think I’d make it this far in pregnancy

I never can imagine a baby being at home and even for the first few weeks after birth I wonder whether I have someone elses baby as it seems surreal.