Gender disappointment

[ASBO_ALI]

This is going to sound awful but ive just found out im expecting my 3rd boy..... i was so convinced it was a girl this time as the whole pregnancy has been so different to my first two. I know i shouldnt be disappointed as many ladies struggle to concieve even just one baby but i cant help it... i really wanted a girl this time............. :O( I know ill be fine once baby is here and love him just as equally but im a little gutted :O( Anyone else been through gender disappointment? x

 

[skye93]

Well congrats anyway on your little boy
I think it's a fairly common thing to feel don't worry and don't feel bad about it.
I wanted a boy for my first and thats what i got, but concieving a girl next time is going to be near impossible due to oh's genes
So I somewhat feel your pain!

 

[EverythingXd]

Yes, I know how you feel. I cried when I found out my bun in the oven was also a little boy, and I felt terribly guilty for feeling that. When I was TTC I made the conscious decision not to worry about timing it right to increase chances of girl... I wanted a baby, and the gender wasn't as important. But hubby says its our last child and honestly I'm gutted I will never have a daughter now.

I love my little man sooo much and I know I will love this one just as much. I am no longer upset about it, but I still wish I could have another - although there's so many boys in my OH's family I know the odds are I would have 3 boys like you!

It's so hard to explain to people, and I mainly pretend... "oh I prefer football to shopping so I was destined to have boys". My OH's mum made some off the cuff comment like "I know you didn't want a boy but..." I cut in and snapped that I DO want my boy. I am so grateful for what I have got, and I will be a very happy mummy if my LO is born healthy.

So I do know how you feel - if anything you probably feel it more so since it is your third. Don't feel bad, and I'm sure you will feel better about it real soon, the first day or so after finding out was definitely worst for me. Do you plan to have any more or is your family complete now? x

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

There's a very supportive GD section, ask for access and you can chat to the lovely ladies in there too xx

 

[detterose]

I felt the same way, but I know I'd never trade him for any little girl in the world when I get to hold him. Although this bub was unplanned and we won't be having a second for years to come, so I don't see a little princess in my future anytime soon

 

[xvmomovx]

I felt some disappointment when I found out I was having another boy. This is my 2nd and due to complications with my health this will be our last child. I think my sadness was partly because I know I will never have a girl. I also think I was hoping that in a way Zeth would always be my only son. It's hard to explain but I do understand.

 

[angela2011]

I remember feeling this way with my 3rd son. Me and my husband only planned on 3 so I was so depressed that I would never get to have a girl. He was born and I was attached and wouldn't trade him for the world. 2 years later I became pregnant again. Unplanned and a big surprise and got my
little girl.

 

[JCh]

There is a gender disappointment forum on here that might be helpful since there are more mommas in the same situation - u just need to request access in ur settings.

I know the initial shock of finding out ur having something other than u imagined can be really difficult but once u've had a bit of time to come to terms - u will be over the moon

 

[Lilbit609]

I have 3 boys and am having my first girl. When I was pregnant with my second son, I thought for sure I was having a girl, only looked at girls clothes, names, everything. When we went to the ultrasound and the tech told me I was having a boy, I said "no Im not" and she said "yes you are", again I said "no Im not". It took until I was about 7 months( I had another ultrasound) to be convinced I was having a boy. Now I wouldn't trade him for anything as soon as he was born, the thought completely left my mind and I was so happy to have my baby boy here. There's nothing like the love between brothers, they fight like cats and dogs but if anyone else tries picking on their brothers, they are right there to defend them.

 

[moter98]

sorry you are feeling this way. i wanted a girl this time too. we are having boy #2 and this will be our last baby. however, God gave me a swift kick in the pants for feeling disappointed. i had some bleeding and discovered my placenta is torn. dr gave this baby a 50/50 chance. wow, did that change my perspective on things. now i don't care what gender i'm having, i just want a healthy baby.
it's totally normal to feel the way you are feeling hun. you had a dream of a girl and now that dream has changed. give yourself some time to get used to it. you may find that you will really enjoy your 3 boys. i have started thinking about all the pros of having all boys myself. like the special bond that only brothers have. my brothers are very close. and hey, boys can pee anywhere, lol!

 

[vancouver_mom]

Don't worry at all and don't feel bad!

My best friend REALLY wanted a boy and she was heart broken when she found out it was a girl. She didn't even have a reason to really want one over the other as this was her first. After a couple weeks, after it settled in, she felt great - even happier.

I know it's tough when you have two boys already but guess what? You'll already know everything to do and you'll have everything you need! I know that doesn't make it better but I'm sure you'll be feeling just fine soon.

Congrats too! I'm on my third too... kind of scary now that we're outnumbered!

 

[Meloc9710]

I won't say I was disappointed per say, but I really, really thought this one was going to be a girl. I already have a teenage son and a 2yr old daughter. Honestly, I was hoping it was another girl so my dd would have a sister to play dolls with etc... It took a few days, but I realized that she can have just as much fun with a little brother. My husband on the other hand is thrilled as he will be the only boy so far to carry on the last name. With that being said, once you see that little baby, all of these thoughts will disappear as the other ladies have said.

 

[moter98]

I won't say I was disappointed per say, but I really, really thought this one was going to be a girl. I already have a teenage son and a 2yr old daughter. Honestly, I was hoping it was another girl so my dd would have a sister to play dolls with etc... It took a few days, but I realized that she can have just as much fun with a little brother. My husband on the other hand is thrilled as he will be the only boy so far to carry on the last name. With that being said, once you see that little baby, all of these thoughts will disappear as the other ladies have said.

i don't think it will be a problem for your kids to play together. my DS's favorite toys are the kitchen play!

 

[lizzieredrup]

I can relate to your feelings, I have 4 boys they are my world and couldn't imagine life without them, from a young age i always imagined myself with a little girl so each time I was told it was a boy i felt slightly disappointed but for me it never lasted long! This time i can feel it happening again, i start thinking maybe it will be a girl this time but i have a strong feeling it will be another boy, i will more than likely feel slightly disappointed again but i know it won't last long.

 

[Wobbles]

Hi,

I have given you access to the Gender Disappointment forum and moved your thread over.

 

[ILoveYouZandT]

Congratulations on your little boy! I have two myself, and am 9 weeks with my third and last child. I had mild gender disappointment with my second, I was convinced he was a she and when I found out he was in fact a boy I was confused for a moment, then excited. I knew I would have one more and that helped me get over my GD.

Fast forward too now.. This is it, our final child. I know either way things will be okay. I would never ever regret my child, but I will feel sad for not being able to have the daughter I've always wanted. People say a lot of insensitive things at times as well which just ads to the disappointment.

As soon as I found out a good friend said "You know it will be a boy right?" And my best friends sister sent me a message saying "Congratulations... 3 boys?! You're brave " and all I could think was how effing rude!!

In the end, when you see that adorable little squishy face of your baby the disappointment will either abruptly disappear or it will fade over time.

Just try to think about all the positives.