General advice please ladies x

[deepinthought]

sorry it is a long one girls x

I have a very very pathetic excuse of a FOB who is ignoring me now and i need to try and get my thoughts together on the best way forward. Its such a long story but basically we were together casually for 18mths but when i told him i was pregnant he told me he actually has a new girlfriend who is also pregnant and is due around the same time as me ! errrr yes a bit of a shock. She is 2 weeks behind me.

Anyway since then he has been incredibly blunt and said he will have nothing to do with me or the baby in either a supportive (see the child) way or a financial support. He said he cannot afford for me to 'muck up' what he has with the new girl as he wants that to work out. He said 'your on your own and im sure you will be a good mum but he wont have a father'.

Anyway i got frustrated with him and im not a malicious person so i havent pushed it much more at the moment. Im not in the interest of making trouble but i want the best for the baby. 2 weeks ago i emailed him (as he changed his mobile!) and said what am i getting out of this basically, you need to help me financially at the minimum etc so he transferred £500 to me to buy some baby bits and then said 'goodbye' gggrrrrrr

My initial questions would be:

1. What would you do ? Whats the best way to handle this? im happy being a single mum if need be as we wont be together obviously but i cant make him participate when he is so against it

2. When do the new birth laws come into effect? he said he wont sign the birth register and told me he expects me to tell the registrar that i dont know who the father is as he doesnt want them contacting him. What would you do?

Thanks ladies, just any help is so appreciated cos i just dont know what to do

x

 

[lou_w34]

Awwwww
He sounds like a right knob!!

Anyways, your right, you cant make him be involved if he doesnt want to be, so personally i wouldnt bother trying anymore. It sounds like you have done all you can do in that department.

I would perhaps email him again thanking him for the £500, and telling him that if he doesnt wish to be involved then that is fine, but he will be contributing financially whether he likes it or not, and that if you cant come to a reasonable agreement between the both of you, then you will be going to the CSA.

You will be a great mum to your LO so i would just let him get on with it. Id tell him when the baby is born, but then leave it up to him, if he doesnt say anything about contributing financially, then i would call the CSA, be prepared though as he will probably demand a DNA to drag it out a bit.

Hope that helps a bit

xxx

ETA: I forgot about the BC, you dont have to mention him at all, when i had my LO registered, she asked about fob, and i said that he didnt want to be on it, so she said that was fine and that was it. They wont even ask you for his name or contact details, so they will have no way of contacting him. And i think the new laws you are talking about are already in place, he will have to be there if he wants to be on the BC, and if he is not on it, he will have no parental responsibility at all.

 

[littlekitten8]

Lou is right. Those laws are already in place.

I would go to the CSA once the baby is born. He has to, by law, support his child. Whether he wants to or not. He should have thought about that before getting 2 people pregnant the tit. I'm sure you will be a great mum.