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Good morning everyone! So sorry about this extremely long post as it is mostly a vent...
So at 32 weeks I had the teeniest, tiniest amount of spotting (like if I hadn't been paying attention I never would have noticed it). The midwife office was already closed for the day so I had to call the triage nurse and was sent to the hospital. I had anticipated this and really wasn't sure if I should just wait until the next morning to call because I didn't really believe there was going to be an issue, but as I am SUCH an anxious person I knew I would have a terrible night and decided to call just for peace of mind.
At the hospital I was of course assessed, gave a urine sample, hooked up to the TOCO and fetal heart rate monitor etc. Baby's heart rate looked great, I had some uterine irritability show up from the TOCO, urine was clean, cervix was closed, swabs and blood tests came back clean (no infection, etc.). Everything was beautiful except my blood pressure. They never found any cause for spotting and that got dismissed. Stupid blood pressure though.
Like I said I am quite an anxious person and it definitely shows in my blood pressure at the "right" times. I have monitored my blood pressure in many different circumstances and it is always normal except when I go in for a doctor appointment - total "white coat syndrome." I am a nurse but going in for my own appointments is terrifying, lol. When I got to the hospital my blood pressure reading was very high, but I absolutely expected it to be with being anxious about the spotting and being in the hospital, etc. Gradually it settled down and wasn't looking bad. Then when the midwife finally came in to talk with me about everything the reading they got while she was in with me had spiked again (although not nearly as high as the first one). And it went back down after that.
I was discharged after the midwife decided she was much more concerned with my blood pressure readings than with the spotting - which I wasn't too offended by as I really didn't think the spotting was enough to be concerned about. She decided to do a 24 hour urine collection to check for protein and did blood work to look for preeclampsia because at my 28 week appointment I had a slightly elevated reading at the beginning of the appointment even though it had completely resolved by the end of the appointment. I had been running late and rushing in is why I believe the reading was slightly elevated but also I don't think the lady (not a midwife) who took my pressure did it right (I was thinking this as she took my pressure before she even said what reading she got).
I had been advised to take my own readings at home and have a follow up appointment after the weekend. My urine came back within normal limits, my readings stayed 100% normal and have ever since (and I've been checking everyday). As I said all of my blood results were normal. No preeclampsia. The office I go to rotates patients through 4 different midwives. Midwives K and L have gone over the scenario and reassure me that everything looks great and I shouldn't be worried at all (except maybe a little about the uterine irritability which I feel frequently). Midwife C, the one from the hospital, seems much more worried and perhaps even overly cautious and I don't feel considers the circumstances as much as the actual numbers. Midwife C "ran" my "case" by the hospital doctors and decided to diagnose me with Gestational Hypertension based on the 28 week appointment's first blood pressure reading and the high hospital blood pressure reading. A diagnosis I would generally disagree with given all of the pieces of the puzzle and as a healthcare professional.
Now I don't mind being safe rather than sorry (anxiety, haha), but I really didn't want to have a diagnosis put on me that was going to make it more difficult for me to do things and make choices in my pregnancy and labor/delivery that I believe to be healthier options than maybe what is just "standard protocol" for the hospital and such. For example, I am now supposed to have appointments twice a week for the remainder of the pregnancy. On Mondays I am to have an ultrasound and a routine OB appointment and on Thursdays I am to have NSTs. I had my second NST yesterday and baby looked absolutely fine except for a lack of "enough" accelerations. So I was sent to have an ultrasound which came back completely normal and beautiful. I told midwife C that baby sleeps hard during the day and is very active early morning/late night but I guess that wasn't good enough an explanation
I am very conflicted on having SO many ultrasounds as the research on long term effects of serial ultrasounds is very lacking. But, I of course would rather be safe than sorry if anything should go awry...anxiety. And with the NSTs being of course during the day when baby insists on sleeping soundly, what if all of those lead to another ultrasound as well?!?
Midwife C stated that my completely normal pressures don't matter at this point and that these interventions should continue regardless. I just want what is best for baby but I am not confident what exactly that is. And what is going to happen during labor I wonder with regards to having this diagnosis (misdiagnosis in my opinion) label stuck to me?
I haven't even touched on the ridiculous number of external stresses I have had throughout this entire pregnancy. I am heartbroken at the amount of stress this baby has had to put up with me dealing with. In hindsight I would have done so many things differently especially when dealing with so many inconsiderate people in my life. The first trimester it was my husband and mom and siblings all fighting with each other to a ridiculous extent as well as my work giving me trouble and extra stress (to the point where I tried to quit and then was convinced to stay on anyway). The second and third trimesters have been helping take care of my sister's baby while also helping her through a horrible divorce and paperwork and more awful people who are really just sh*tbags, helping her find a job (and helping her work the job!), driving her everywhere as she doesn't have a car, dealing with her emotions about the divorce and having her take them out on me and my family, the list goes on. My husband has been very dissatisfied with his job this entire pregnancy and right before my 28 week appointment (ha, imagine that) decided he was going to try and enlist in the military! Oh, and health insurance - I don't know where to start on that one. It's all just too much and I might have run away as soon as I saw that positive test and not come back until the baby was born if I had known this all would go down.
Whew, so incredibly sorry about this long and probably confusing rant. If you've managed to make your way through it much thanks for your time! I just don't know what to do with myself. I am so tired and feeling so unprepared.
LilacPetal
So at 32 weeks I had the teeniest, tiniest amount of spotting (like if I hadn't been paying attention I never would have noticed it). The midwife office was already closed for the day so I had to call the triage nurse and was sent to the hospital. I had anticipated this and really wasn't sure if I should just wait until the next morning to call because I didn't really believe there was going to be an issue, but as I am SUCH an anxious person I knew I would have a terrible night and decided to call just for peace of mind.
At the hospital I was of course assessed, gave a urine sample, hooked up to the TOCO and fetal heart rate monitor etc. Baby's heart rate looked great, I had some uterine irritability show up from the TOCO, urine was clean, cervix was closed, swabs and blood tests came back clean (no infection, etc.). Everything was beautiful except my blood pressure. They never found any cause for spotting and that got dismissed. Stupid blood pressure though.
Like I said I am quite an anxious person and it definitely shows in my blood pressure at the "right" times. I have monitored my blood pressure in many different circumstances and it is always normal except when I go in for a doctor appointment - total "white coat syndrome." I am a nurse but going in for my own appointments is terrifying, lol. When I got to the hospital my blood pressure reading was very high, but I absolutely expected it to be with being anxious about the spotting and being in the hospital, etc. Gradually it settled down and wasn't looking bad. Then when the midwife finally came in to talk with me about everything the reading they got while she was in with me had spiked again (although not nearly as high as the first one). And it went back down after that.
I was discharged after the midwife decided she was much more concerned with my blood pressure readings than with the spotting - which I wasn't too offended by as I really didn't think the spotting was enough to be concerned about. She decided to do a 24 hour urine collection to check for protein and did blood work to look for preeclampsia because at my 28 week appointment I had a slightly elevated reading at the beginning of the appointment even though it had completely resolved by the end of the appointment. I had been running late and rushing in is why I believe the reading was slightly elevated but also I don't think the lady (not a midwife) who took my pressure did it right (I was thinking this as she took my pressure before she even said what reading she got).
I had been advised to take my own readings at home and have a follow up appointment after the weekend. My urine came back within normal limits, my readings stayed 100% normal and have ever since (and I've been checking everyday). As I said all of my blood results were normal. No preeclampsia. The office I go to rotates patients through 4 different midwives. Midwives K and L have gone over the scenario and reassure me that everything looks great and I shouldn't be worried at all (except maybe a little about the uterine irritability which I feel frequently). Midwife C, the one from the hospital, seems much more worried and perhaps even overly cautious and I don't feel considers the circumstances as much as the actual numbers. Midwife C "ran" my "case" by the hospital doctors and decided to diagnose me with Gestational Hypertension based on the 28 week appointment's first blood pressure reading and the high hospital blood pressure reading. A diagnosis I would generally disagree with given all of the pieces of the puzzle and as a healthcare professional.
Now I don't mind being safe rather than sorry (anxiety, haha), but I really didn't want to have a diagnosis put on me that was going to make it more difficult for me to do things and make choices in my pregnancy and labor/delivery that I believe to be healthier options than maybe what is just "standard protocol" for the hospital and such. For example, I am now supposed to have appointments twice a week for the remainder of the pregnancy. On Mondays I am to have an ultrasound and a routine OB appointment and on Thursdays I am to have NSTs. I had my second NST yesterday and baby looked absolutely fine except for a lack of "enough" accelerations. So I was sent to have an ultrasound which came back completely normal and beautiful. I told midwife C that baby sleeps hard during the day and is very active early morning/late night but I guess that wasn't good enough an explanation
I am very conflicted on having SO many ultrasounds as the research on long term effects of serial ultrasounds is very lacking. But, I of course would rather be safe than sorry if anything should go awry...anxiety. And with the NSTs being of course during the day when baby insists on sleeping soundly, what if all of those lead to another ultrasound as well?!?Midwife C stated that my completely normal pressures don't matter at this point and that these interventions should continue regardless. I just want what is best for baby but I am not confident what exactly that is. And what is going to happen during labor I wonder with regards to having this diagnosis (misdiagnosis in my opinion) label stuck to me?
I haven't even touched on the ridiculous number of external stresses I have had throughout this entire pregnancy. I am heartbroken at the amount of stress this baby has had to put up with me dealing with. In hindsight I would have done so many things differently especially when dealing with so many inconsiderate people in my life. The first trimester it was my husband and mom and siblings all fighting with each other to a ridiculous extent as well as my work giving me trouble and extra stress (to the point where I tried to quit and then was convinced to stay on anyway). The second and third trimesters have been helping take care of my sister's baby while also helping her through a horrible divorce and paperwork and more awful people who are really just sh*tbags, helping her find a job (and helping her work the job!), driving her everywhere as she doesn't have a car, dealing with her emotions about the divorce and having her take them out on me and my family, the list goes on. My husband has been very dissatisfied with his job this entire pregnancy and right before my 28 week appointment (ha, imagine that) decided he was going to try and enlist in the military! Oh, and health insurance - I don't know where to start on that one. It's all just too much and I might have run away as soon as I saw that positive test and not come back until the baby was born if I had known this all would go down.
Whew, so incredibly sorry about this long and probably confusing rant. If you've managed to make your way through it much thanks for your time! I just don't know what to do with myself. I am so tired and feeling so unprepared.
LilacPetal
