Getting negative feedback for nursing

[twiggy327]

I feel that i am getting judged by my family and bff for continuing to BF my 9 month old. My husband's mother is especially judgey with the "I really hope youre going to stop soon, I dont want you nursing my grandson when he is 4 years old. I never breastfed my boys and they are just fine." I get it all the time from everyone except my mother and husband. My grandmother thinks its gross and proceeds to tell me constantly when I nurse in her presence and forget about nursing in public! She actually walked out of a restaurant on me for just joking about it. My best friend is pretty bad too. She did/is formula feeding her 2 sons and thinks that formula is just as good as breast milk and doesnt see why i hassle myself with pumping at work. She actually told me her pediatrician told her that formula is better for infants than breast milk psshh. I called her a fibber and "missed" her calls for a week because I dont want to hear about it anymore. I actually feel shamed into staying home sometimes so I dont have to hear negativity from people. My son only nurses in the morning and a night now and I send 2 expressed bottles a day to daycare with him during the week. I only nursed my daughter for 3 months before I got an infected duct and it was just too painful to keep it up. I planned on only BFing for the first 6 mos and some how or another here I am at 9 mos going strong. Idk, It doesnt bother me to take a few minutes every few hours and pump at work and it saves money and is all natural, I dont see the big deal. I need some support from some other milking mamas out there! thanks!

 

[Rachel_C]

Wow, they don't sound very nice or very educated at all!

It's great you're continuing despite them though. I honestly think I would just stop seeing them so often if they can't keep quiet, or at least tell them that you're aware of their opinion and will consider their views but you will make your own decision and if they can't stop going on about it you will have to reconsider spending time with them. I'd do the same for anything where I'd made a decision and somebody kept nagging about it. Or perhaps half jokingly tell them that you are VERY stubborn and the more somebody nags you about something, the longer you will do it

 

[CandyDay]

They are uneducated about breastfeeding.
They are either uneducated about it or they feel bad that they didn't breastfeed for longer so they are trying to make you feel bad about it.
The length of time that you will breastfeed is barely any time in the length of a child's life. Take advantage of the closeness with your child that it creates while you can. Ignore their bad remarks and continue doing what you are doing. Or let them know how it makes you feel when they comment about it and tell them that they can walk away if they don't want to see it. That is their loss not yours. Or let them know that if they continue to be negative about it you will not be seeing them anymore and stay away from them.

 

[justmeinlove]

My mum made the same sort of comments, but now, I'm still going and she seems to have got used to it you're doing a lovely thing, and it's not really any of their business

 

[sheldonsmommy]

Lol what exactly does your grandmother think is gross about it? The nutrients? The fact that it's free? The closeness between a mother and her baby?

Your friend seems to want to defend her decision to ff for no apparent reason.

You seem to have some negative nellies around you right now. If I were in your shoes I would just continue doing what you're doing and either try to let it roll off your back, or simply let them know it is 100% your choice how you decide to feed your baby, this is how I will feed mine.

Maybe you can enlist your mother and husband and any other supporters to have your back if someone starts spouting their opinions about your life.

 

[JASMAK]

Sad that people believe this, but it is learned. La k of breastfeeding education and society, especially the older generation. I would try to get a book, if there is one, for people who don't know much info...like a facts thing. I would outright tell my friend to be supportive though.

 

[Maxy1]

People were a bit like that with me too for a short period. After a while they get bored with it and realise you will just do what you want anyway and you don't really care what they think and they just stop talking about it.

My mum was anti me BFing about 12 months. To be fair to her, it was causing me a lot of health problems but I never got the impression that was the reason why she thought I should stop. I carried on BFing to 22 months, we did combi feeding at that stage - I didn't have the same passion for pumping at all. Basically the whole second year, no one mentioned anything to me and I didn't talk to them about it either.

 

[akilgore2012]

It is so sad that people have become so closed minded about breastfeeding.
Keep doing what you are doing and providing for your child! You are doing a WONDERFUL thing! Don't let the negativity bring you down.

My own mom has started frowning on it because recently my LO has discovered nipples. He plays with the bottle nipple, my nipple, sippy cup nipple. I told my mom and she goes "well I think it's about time you stop breast feeding him if he's playing with you." I looked at her and told her "mom, he doesn't know what it is, all he sees is something sticking out at him. I'm not stopping. You can get over it."
Be strong and don't let these uneducated people get you down!

 

[staralfur]

I would kindly remind them that you don't judge them for their choices so you'd appreciate if they didn't judge you for yours.

I know the fact that I'm still nursing makes some people uncomfortable, and that's okay, they have every right to feel that way. But there's a difference between quietly not liking the idea of something and expressing it in a way that hurts someone. They don't have to change their opinions, they just need to keep it to themselves.

 

[BigAl]

9 months is still so young, you are doing a great job. They still need formula at that age, so why is it weird to bf?

My mum was a bit like that, but I just flat out ignored any comments, and tried to surround myself with more support. I did attend a breastfeeding support group until around 11m, and it massively helped to feel that what I was doing was normal. I guess online groups like this help too.

 

[Lizzybee]

I have to sayi find old people to be the most judgemental about bf. One saying I was disgusting. That was when LO was 4 weeks old.

 

[HBGirl]

Ask them why they are so preocupied with your nipples. That should shut them up.

 

[Itsychik]

I'm tempted to make a fact sheet about breast feeding and the benefits on an index card (or print out a sheet full of them and cut them out) any anytime someone starts being difficult just handing the card to them.

My mother makes annoying comments but at the same time claims to be proud of the fact that she bf'd me and my younger brother for a year. My mom was visiting when my DD was born (we live in different countries) and next week we're flying over to see them. Before my mom left she asked, "you're not still going to be breastfeeding when you come to visit, are you?" I said, of course! DD won't even be 3 MONTHS OLD yet! Then she kind of 'tsk'd' and told me to make sure I brought a cover.

I tell people I'm planning to bf at least a year so they can either get over it or get used to it. Fortunately my mom is the only one who seems to make annoying comments so far...