Getting pregnant again..just found out that it probably will not happen.:( pg 2.

[Gabrielle]

Okay ladies since we've all been through this ......I figured I'd get some opinions.

So as some of you know...I have three boys, which we're all preemies. I've been told that I should not have anymore babies.....well I just am having a terrible time with this and we really don't want to be done with our family.

I wanted to share my pregnancies and birth stories with you and get your thoughts and what you would do. Be honest...it's okay. I know you are all here to help.

Owen, whose 4nhalf was born at 34 weeks. Stayed in the NICU for 2 weeks and was able to come home. No health problems grew nice and big and strong and is a very happy, smart, healthy four year old boy.

With that pregnancy I had kidney infections, my appendix removed at 20 weeks, preterm labor at 24 weeks, complete bedrest, mag, terbulatine, gave birth vaginally at 34 weeks due to PTL and septic pelvic thrombophelbitis.( Blood clots) Had a postpartum hemmoage and blood transfusion.

Gavin, who just turned 2 was born at 30 weeks. He was teeny tiny and had to come via csection to due PPROM and placenta not functioning. He stayed in the NICU for alittle over two months. He was on oxygen at home for awhile and had to where a monitor. He now is 22lbs and my tiny little man. He doesn't talk much but overall he is active and happy and overall healthy. Has a few medical problems and been sick alot but does well overall.

With this pregnancy I had hyperemesis, requiring a PICC line to be put in due to excessive dehydration and ketones in my urine. I developed a complete placenta previa and was put on bedrest at 12 weeks. I had PTL at 23 weeks and was put on strict bedrest in the hospital due to bleeding. I developed a PE (blood clot in the lungs) and had to be on a heparin drip for weeks. I had problems with my kidneys and needed a stent to be put in due to kidney stones. I ended up losing my fluid at 29 weeks and baby had to come out because of heart decelerations.

Jack, whose 7months came at 33weeks. Due to PTL and PPROM. Again same things with him ptl at 20 weeks was dialated to 3cm by 23 weeks and put on strict bedrest. Had a placental bleed and previa. As well as Gestational diabetes.

jack was in the NICU for only 2 weeks. He is a big 18lbs at the age of 7 months.(5months corrected) and overall doing well. Has some chronic lung issues and requries daily breathing treatments and has had a few hospital stays since we was born. Despite he had a trauma to his head and thats a whole different boat.

After my last csection the doctors said that I should not have anymore babies...b/c of what I've been through and that my placenta got embedded into my uterus requiring them to restitch the uterus wall. They said I'm at risk for a placenta accreta.

Okay......I know I know it's alot to read and alot for me to go through...but my children have done SO well and are happy and healthy. I am truly blessed.

I just can't see us being done. We've always wanted a big family and when someone tells you not to have anymore babies it's sooooo hard not to want it even more.

I know I'm at risk for quite a few problems...but as all of you know..it's so worth it in the end......

Any thoughts, experiences would be lovely to hear.

 

[mummy3]

This is a difficult one. I also have 3 children all of which were preemie and getting earlier. First at 35 weeks due to HELLP syndrome. Second at 35 weeks due to ptl and PPROM and 3rd at 33 weeks due to ptl and complete preavia.
I do not feel my family is complete either and we will be TTC from april.
Only one of my babies was delivered by c- section and there was no embedding.
I believe the risk of praevia alone goes up the more babies/ c-sections you have. I have the support of my ob and have decided if I end up with another section thats it for us.
You know the risks yourself and if you feel that they are worth taking then you should TTC, perhaps meet with your ob again and get more info?
Again

 

[Gabrielle]

Wow...you've been through alot of what I have. How old are your LO's? Did they do well?

I'm glad that you are going to be able to TTC again.

I've met with two different doctors...one has said no more, and the other has said he won't tell me I can't......but if I decide to want to, that we will talk about it. (at that time I was all about being done....).

Everytime I look at Jack and think about him getting older I get so teary. I guess I just never thought he'd be our last. Idk what to think.

I currently have an non hormaonal IUD in place. I just recently had my right ovary and fallopian tube reomoved due to a tumor and ovarian cyst..and I think after that it freaked me out..thinking my chances go down of getting preggers and what if it would happen to the other ovary......

 

[mummy3]

Mine are 5, 2 and 6 months. They are all really well, all had reflux and jaundice but no long term effects. My son (2 year old) is very small but he is having tests for a condition not linked to prematurity.
Some docs are quick to say no, with us one of the docs in the nicu said dont have more, but it turns out he thought we were asking if any further babies would be preterm and thought we didnt want more if that was the case.
That second doc of yours sounds supportive, but id still try and find out a bit more.
Im sorry to hear about your having the surgery, are you ok now?
Its good to speak to someone going through similar things! Please let me know what you decide, if you ttc again maybe we can be buddys
Amyxx

 

[nkbapbt]

I would really do a lot of research about premature labor and what your risk (which I have read in my own research is very high) of another preterm birth. I couldn't do it myself, but that is my OWN choice. And reflects nothing on your choice or your willingness to do so. I think you and your husband need to decide for yourselves.

I would maybe also talk to another doctor and ask other moms on here who have had multiple preterm births. I know there are others.

You two are very brave!! The idea of even having another is so scary to me and if I was told no more, I would struggle to not listen..but I would.

I just couldn't risk it especially if it didn't work out as smoothly as Lakai's development, I would carry that guilt with me for life. Especially if I decided to go for it and my child suffered because of it.

 

[Gabrielle]

Mine are 5, 2 and 6 months. They are all really well, all had reflux and jaundice but no long term effects. My son (2 year old) is very small but he is having tests for a condition not linked to prematurity.
Some docs are quick to say no, with us one of the docs in the nicu said dont have more, but it turns out he thought we were asking if any further babies would be preterm and thought we didnt want more if that was the case.
That second doc of yours sounds supportive, but id still try and find out a bit more.
Im sorry to hear about your having the surgery, are you ok now?
Its good to speak to someone going through similar things! Please let me know what you decide, if you ttc again maybe we can be buddys
Amyxx

Awe...ours area bout the same age! My oldest will be 5 in August, Gavin just turned two and jack just turned 7months. How neat.

So you are going to start TTC in April?...that so exciting, and soon.

You say your 2 year old is small...how much does he weigh? Gavin is 22lbs....

I'm glad all of your little ones are doing well despite being premature.

 

[Laura2919]

I think its definitely a tough one but on the flip side what if your next baby came earlier and didnt have a chance of making it like your other children did?? I think if I had 3 prems then I wouldnt chance having another baby.

My partners sister said the other day, if my baby came at 29 weeks I would have confidence that all would be ok. Well why?? Mine were extremely lucky to weigh what they did and not need ventilating..

I do hope you can find peace whatever you decide hun. xx

 

[lizziedripping]

Wow, this is a really good but difficult question hun. You have been thru sooo much to get your family.

Personally, I had a 24 weeker who survived, it was hell (literally) and it took us 4yrs to decide on having a third. We did, and here I am preggo with twins! Having said that, for us we went ahead because my ONLY problem was incompetent cervix. Fortunately, as risky as it is, it is a condition which you can do something about - inserting a stitch. It isn't a guarantee for success, but atleast it gave us a good chance.

If I had been one of those ladies who had random preterm labour earlier and earlier in pregnancy, then I may have thought twice. Sometimes there isn't much that can be done about this, and that would have scared me more. Because I managed to carry my first to term, this also gave me some hope that I could do it again.

Many friends thought we were brave to be trying again. It did require a leap of faith to an extent, but deep down I knew we could tackle my particular problem with a certain degree of success. If I truly thought I was risking another 24-28 weeker, I defo wouldn't have done it. Twins also complicated matters - perhaps if I'd known that was gonna happen I wouldn't have been brave enough. It is now known that a singleton would have breezed thru to 40wks with a stitch - the twins are a bit more uncertain due to my mammoth size, and the pressure on my cervix.

It also seems that your own health is a risk darlin' from reading your story. This has to be another consideration for you. This isn't just about having another preemie, it's also about looking after you. Again, if my health had been in question, then I'm not sure I'd have taken the plunge.

At the end of the day, you have to be sensible, but also follow your instincts. If deep down you feel that another bubba is the right thing for you and yours, then you should go for it. Just be sure it is for the right reasons tho hun - such a hard choice, but I'm sure the right thing will come to you xxx

 

[mummy3]

Gabrielle, my son is 25 pounds but his main thing is his height, hes only 75cm and hasnt grown in height for over a year. He is thought to have osteogenesis imperfecta, we are just waiting for his blood and x ray results. Do you know why Gavin is so small?
I hear the words of warning from the other ladies, and without a doubt of course im worried about another preemie. All I can say is that I dont feel my family is complete.
All my babies are preemie from separate conditions, I may get lucky and have a normal pregnancy, but I may not. My earliest was 33 weeks so I cant say whether having a very very early baby would affect my decision,

I do agree that such decisions should be made with the advice of your doctor

But yeah we are trying as of april, im bf with no af so will prob still be trying next april

 

[AP]

This is something I always worry about wish i had some answers to why it all happened,it might help!

 

[Gabrielle]

Thanks for all the advice, and thoughts and experiences.

They say that I have a very irritable uterus and I start contracting around 20 weeks... My cervix can only hang on for so long. I remember with Jack I went in at 21 weeks and I was dialated to 2cm..I thought I was going to lose him. I was bleeding alot from my previa as well.

My doctors don't say no because I've had preemies.....althought they do say that I will never make it to term. They are more concerned about me having another PE or blood clots else where. Since I was sepsis with my first one I was very very sick, and on blood thinners and antibotics for weeks after Owen was born. It's like 1 in 10,000 that get that condition.

They are concerned about me bleeding and not being able to control it. I've got alot of scar tissue and my placenta really embeds into the uterus which causes more fear.

I'm not planning on TTC any time soon, though I would love another baby. We've got alot going on medically will Jack. I just thought I could hear what other people have thought that have went through similar situations.

People who never had a preemie, or complicated pregnancy just think I'm terrible for even thinking of getting pregnant again....

 

[Laura2919]

Your not terrible for even thinking it! Your just weighing up what is best and what is not.
Only you and your OH can decide on whether you would like another child and only you both can weigh up the risks.
People who have never had a prem wouldnt understand..
x

 

[Gabrielle]

Gabrielle, my son is 25 pounds but his main thing is his height, hes only 75cm and hasnt grown in height for over a year. He is thought to have osteogenesis imperfecta, we are just waiting for his blood and x ray results. Do you know why Gavin is so small?
I hear the words of warning from the other ladies, and without a doubt of course im worried about another preemie. All I can say is that I dont feel my family is complete.
All my babies are preemie from separate conditions, I may get lucky and have a normal pregnancy, but I may not. My earliest was 33 weeks so I cant say whether having a very very early baby would affect my decision,

I do agree that such decisions should be made with the advice of your doctor

But yeah we are trying as of april, im bf with no af so will prob still be trying next april

I'm not sure why Gavin is so small, but the doctor was alittle concerned b/c he's so tiny and got sick alot.......sent us to Childrens but we never got there yet with all that's going on with Jack.

Gavin in 80cm's tall.....so just under the charts. So he's small for weight and Height....so I think that means that he's just small.

 

[seekingbaby#1]

I would love to give my son a sibling but I'm scared of having another preemie. My doctor said my next pregnancy will definitly be high risk. I'll have a cerclage at 12weeks, progesterone shots, and be on bedrest. Now that I have a son, I would feel guilty not being able to care for him while on bedrest. IMO its hard deciding about more children after a premature delivery.

 

[Foogirl]

I think I'd be looking at what I am at risk of.

If they told me I had a risk of a preemie but could give no other reason except for the fact I'd had one before, I'd probably take the risk.

If they told me I was at risk of the same thing happening again, I'd go for it but would take more precautions i.e stop work earlier, avoid heavy lifting sooner, put my feet up and take any bleeding more seriously.

If they told me I was risking my health and that of my future child, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't consider it fair to my existing children to put them through the worry of me becoming ill, or perhaps having long term health issues, or even worse.

Similarly if my pregnancies were getting progressively shorter and I was at risk of delivering very early, it would be a no for me.

Like SB22, they can't tell me why I bled. My consultant said they had done tests on the placenta and had found nothing wrong with it. We knew it was low, but it never had the chance to move up as I bled at 29 weeks and that is when they took her out. She indicated there was no reason at all for the same thing to happen again - but then there was apparently no reason for it to happen in the first place.

Laura is right, people see 29 weekers doing well and think it's not really a problem. But our girls did fine at 29 weeks. Some babies aren't so lucky and indeed, some don't make it at all. Sure if I get to that stage in future pregnancies I will start to relax, but the risks are still high.

Even with the fact our NNICU journey was straightforward, and the consultant thinking I'm low risk, I still am worried about it all happening again. On balance I think we will go for it, but if the consultant had said there was a very good chance it would happen again, and we couldn't avoid it, we wouldn't do it. And that's despite the fact I really want another.

It is only a question that you can answer, the only thing I'd say is that sometimes what we really want, comes second in all of this!

 

[Gabrielle]

Thanks Foogirls.. Yours was very straight forward. I know and have been told that My life will be at risk, for sure. I've had many problems ...x 3 and it doesnt get better.

I know I will have placenta problems, and ptl, and a preemie. They said I would never make it past 34 weeks......so I guess I am not planning on having anymore.

I've been debating this for months and unless I get a for sure go to get preggers again i will avoid it.

It's been nice to get advice and stories from all of you.

 

[bumpsmum]

your clearly a great mummy and have weighed up the risks. Would you consider adoption? there are so many children in the world looking for a family that I would seriously consider it if I was not able for whatever reason to have anymore xx

 

[Mumof42009]

Hi

I have had 4 premmie's all due to placenta problems all placenta abruptions and i do count myself lucky that they are all healthy as i took the risk to have them. It is hard making the right decision about what to do couldnt you have a chat with your gp about things maybe that will help in making the decision as well?
Also weigh up everything as well who knows things maybe different the next time xx

 

[Gabrielle]

So on Feb 3rd I had my right Ovary and fallopian tube removed due to a torsion of a cyst and a rupture.

I was just in the doctors for a kidney stone and they ended up finding a cyst that measures 8.5cm's..which is huge! on my left ovary....were are waiting a month to check on it....if it doesnt go away within two to three months they have to remove it. or if it gets twisted..........

this would mean....NO MORE babies.....

 

[mummy3]