I haven't been on the site for a while, it hurts too much thinking of what we had planned, but just wanted to update everyone who had left lovely messages.
It turns out the birth mother doesn't care about much other than keeping her child benefit, so I can keep looking after our son so long as she still gets all monetary gain.
I'm trying very hard to keep going, and I'm being the best mummy I can be, but I still feel dead inside. I'm hoping it'll pass with time.
Since I'm no longer even considering trying for a baby any time soon, and thinking about what we had hurts too much, I'm going to be in the toddlers and single mums sections, dealing with what I have now.
Thank you for all your support and love. I have both needed and appreciated everything you have all given me.