Given first bottle of formula - support please!

[pachamama]

Well, some of you may or may not know that i've been battling with thrush in my breasts for the last 4-5 weeks... it's not going and my nipples remain cracked and inflamed. Even pumping is damaging them now so I've finally started to reduce the frequency of pumping and have given him 2oz of formula mixed in with 3oz of breast milk for his feed this morning.

I'm not quite sure what I was expecting but he guzzled it down in his usual way and just seems very happy and contented now!! Of course, logically this is what is to be expected but a small part of me was expecting it to be harder or for him to spit it out or something...

I'm very tearful at the moment, experiencing what I can only describe as grief for the loss of this part of his and my life. However, I know this is making way for a new chapter where I can spend more time with him because I'm not expressing all the time and where I can hold and cuddle him because my breasts don't hurt so much that I can't...

What a roller coaster ride. Thanks for listening...

x

 

[chanel]

Ive just started to formula feed also and know how you feel, i am tearful and guilty but my lo just didn't seem to be satisfied only with feeding from the breast so i had to be topping up every feed with ebm. I simply couldn't keep up with the feeding/expressing/ebm feeding/sterilising so have opted to switch to formula. I feel like it's just me being lazy as opposed to anything else though but i am just so tired and emotional from having to feed all the time that my time with my lo wasn't being made the most of and i was feeling guilty for that then .
Sounds like you have had a really tough time of it, if you are in pain then that is no good for either you or your lo and like you say now you can spend more quality time with him instead of feeling in pain/emotional and tired.
Lets try and be kind to ourselves x

 

[rihanna]

I am in the middle of the switch from BF to FF too. Part of me is sad but i know my LO is really happy with bottles, and is very content after and i know he finds it easier to get the bottled milk & i think he prefers it.

We have given them the best start & i always say a happy mum makes for happy baby.

 

[lukesmom]

100% behind you hun.I recently switched from BF to FF too because I just wasnt keeping Jake satisfied and it started to get me down,I didnt have any pain though so that must be tough on you,hope it goes soon for you.I understand the grief part-I had that too but as Rihanna said-we have given them the best start and you definatly did your best.ive yourself a break hun.xx

 

[pachamama]

Thankyou all so much for replying. It really does help to know that others understand. I guess this is just the beginning of motherhood and the many things we do or don't do that bring guilt...

Out of interest, how are you dealing with engorged breasts etc?

x

 

[chanel]

I gradually reduced the amount and number of times I'd feed/express. They now ain't engorged but do feel stingy and sore.... Just like a constant reminder of the guilt :'(

im sure hormones and tiredness are making these feelings a lot worse so I'm sure it will get better... Hope so anyway z

 

[chanel]

I gradually reduced the amount and number of times I'd feed/express. They now ain't engorged but do feel stingy and sore.... Just like a constant reminder of the guilt :'(

im sure hormones and tiredness are making these feelings a lot worse so I'm sure it will get better... Hope so anyway z

 

[bky]

The first few feeds of formula I made OH do because I just couldn't stand to. It was weeks before I didn't have to worry about dripping tears in the formula tin.

 

[SRTBaby]

We have had LO on formula from the beginning because my milk didnt come until day 4. For the last week we would BF using a nipple shield, then i would leave HO to top him up using formula while i pumped. This went on for a while while i was in pain and exhausted. 3 days ago LO was struggling to breath with a chest cold, purely our fault because we have been stripping him naked to BF or he would sleep. We felt guilty and i haven't BF since then, i just pump and feed him what comes out and top it with formula.

I still feel really guilty for not being able to BF him, i doubt i will keep BF for long, even pumping is so painful.

 

[Odd Socks]

the guilt does ease. bella has been purely formula fed since 4 weeks, as she always screamed for hours before a breastfeed & wasn't happy at all. i've no idea why she hated breastfeeding so much, & blamed myself, even though her latch was perfect, i was producing plenty of milk, & she could suck fine!
i spent a couple of weeks expressing (the first 2 weeks were spent trying to breastfeed), but bella wanted me to spend more time with her, so i stopped expressing, went completely to formula, & she's such a happy little girl for it. i did attempt to try & breastfeed her again a few times, but she'd scream if i put her anywhere near my boobs, & i realised as time went on, i was doing it for me more than her.
i don't feel guilty anymore, i just feel incredibly sad that it didn't work for us, & i'm envious when i see people successfully breastfeeding.
xx