going back to work

[bumpsmum]

Well my mat leave ends on 12th Sept and really cant face the prospect of going back to work so soon! I had to stop working at 30 weeks thru illness and feel I am no where near ready to go back.

Spoken to my boss who is really supportive and made it quite clear one way or another I wont be back in Sept, he even offered advice on how to maxamise my time off - Im thinking Jan 2010 will give me enough time to hopefully have Matthew weaned, hopefully discharged from specialists etc and used to leaving him at nursery or with babysitters for more than a couple of hours.

I was diagnosed with PND a few weeks ago and want to get myself in a better place and used to medication etc first and think I will get signed off work for a minimum of 4 weeks, hoping to take say 8 weeks sick leave and use up my A/L etc to cover me til then. I cant believe its come round so fast, I physically felt sick sitting here typing my notice to return to work on the 12th Sept (feeling guilty as I know im not going back and feel like im 'cheating the system' but also that its time to go back already).

How does everyone else feel about work? It is the farthest thing from my mind and I know we all have enough to deal with without thinking about stuff like this - wish I could afford to be a SAHM I would love that but we are just not comfotable enough for me to extend my mat leave and go unpaid for a while

Just having a bit of a rant and moan I guess feel really deflated today as the reality of the big bad world and having to get back into it has set in x

 

[grumpymoo]

I so understand what you feel. I am worrying about going back already,cant bear the thought of leaving Rose, but then she is still tiny. Dont think i want to ever leave her but dont have a choice.

I would do whatever you can to stay off a bit longer

 

[Samantha]

Hello,
I understand completely how you feel. My little girl Charlotte is now 2 and I returned to full time work last October - when she was a corrected 1 year old (she was born at 24 wks).

Anyway, I used to feel physically sick, cry all the time about going back to work. My first day back was awful and I really didnt know how I could do it day in day out and leave her at nursery.

OK - now the really really positive stuff. It took me a few weeks to come to terms with things but now I realise it was the best decision I have ever made for Charlotte. She absolutely loves nursery. So much so that she screams with excitement when we pull up outside. She has a mild cerebral palsy, and the interaction with the other toddlers is second to none. It has really brought her along and she is doing fantastic.

I always knew that if Charlotte was happy then I would be - and I am. My mind has completely changed about sending babies to nurseries.

I know its difficult right now, but I just wanted to tell you how things are for me and Charlotte and hopefully make you feel a little bit better and that given a little time things will be just fine.

Love
Sam

 

[Bec L]

I can totally empathise with how you are feeling hun, I feel the same way and Poppy will be 13 months when I go back. I posted this back in December and had a few positive posts which you may like to read
https://www.babyandbump.com/premature-babies/85420-leaving-your-premature-baby.html

I found I was spoiling my maternity leave by being so worried about going back and eventually my h/v referred me for some counselling.

I go back in one month, just for 2 days a week and have had a couple of 'practice' half days in the office which were hard, but Poppy was more than happy with my parents. I just missed her

 

[bumpsmum]

thanks everyone for sharing your experience and thoughts starting to feel a little better about it now

Bec - I read thru your post it was very helpful and summed up how Im feeling, Ill be going back part time 28hrs a week less if I can afford it but doubt it and like yourself have the option to do a good few 'practice' days then if im not ready I can go off on sick leave again.

Matthew has spent the odd night at MIL which is fine except Im pacing the floor looking for him when he's due back. He's there just now visiting as Im unwell with a kidney infection thats floored me (prob why im down in the dumps today) and she just text to ask if he can spend the night - this is usually fine as im usually the one asking, but my heart is in my mouth tonight for some reason but gonna be calm and let him stay there. Think if I get used to others taking part in looking after him now it wont be so bad when the time comes.

Thanks again girls for letting me vent and rant x