Going from 1 to 2 - 17m gap

[Jft1]

Hi all, baby #2 is due to arrive in about 4 weeks -
DS is 16m, will be 17m when baby arrives. He’s such a chilled out little boy, he’s been a great sleeper, just a great kid all round. I’ve noticed the last couple of weeks he’s become a lot more affectionate which is lovely - but is this just a development stage or does he sense the baby is coming? (Sorry if that’s ridiculous). He’s also starting waking during the night and crying which he’s never done. Even when he’s been teething he manages to self settle, but the past week he just isn’t settling once he wakes up.
So I guess my question is for everyone who’s went from 1 to 2 with quite a small age gap - how was it?

 

[missielibra]

When my second was born, my first was 19months.
He kinda did the same thing. I mean, he's always been a mama's boy, but it was extra. He also had been sleeping 12 hours night since he was 2 months and from the moment his brother was born, bye bye full nights. We're just returning to normal no-wake up nights, and he just turned 30 months today.

Except for the nights, it's been good. He is a little boy who shares at daycare, but sometimes he has a harder time with his little brother, and though we always explain everything to him, it's been a little bit difficult for him to <understand> all the changes and prepare him for them.

But he ADORES his little brother (who's now almost 11 months) and they are two peas-in-a-pod. They have similar interests obviously. So they'll play with blocs together, draw, play with the same toys. He always wants to take his brother everywhere with him. There's some difficult moments because they're both so young, but honestly, it's amazing to see them together!

Good luck! xox

 

[Jft1]

When my second was born, my first was 19months.
He kinda did the same thing. I mean, he's always been a mama's boy, but it was extra. He also had been sleeping 12 hours night since he was 2 months and from the moment his brother was born, bye bye full nights. We're just returning to normal no-wake up nights, and he just turned 30 months today.

Except for the nights, it's been good. He is a little boy who shares at daycare, but sometimes he has a harder time with his little brother, and though we always explain everything to him, it's been a little bit difficult for him to <understand> all the changes and prepare him for them.

But he ADORES his little brother (who's now almost 11 months) and they are two peas-in-a-pod. They have similar interests obviously. So they'll play with blocs together, draw, play with the same toys. He always wants to take his brother everywhere with him. There's some difficult moments because they're both so young, but honestly, it's amazing to see them together!

Good luck! xox

Thank you so much for your reply, it’s been super helpful!! Oh, that’s not so good about the nights but at least now I can be prepared if he does start waking.
I’m trying to explain to him about the baby arriving, he’s moved into his ‘big boy’ room and is settled there, so when the baby takes the nursery he doesn’t feel like he’s being moved just for that. I’ve brought some of the baby stuff downstairs, swing and Moses basket and I tell him it’s for the baby, but I really don’t think he understands at all.
I have a feeling this one is a little boy, and as much as a little girl would be amazing, I think he’d be better with a brother and I’m hoping they’d play with all the same toys and be the same as your two boys. Thank you again xox

 

[motherofboys]

I had 20 months between my first 2. I did suffer from PND with my second, but even with that it was still my favourite gap. They are now 13 and 15 and get on really well.

 

[Jft1]

I had 20 months between my first 2. I did suffer from PND with my second, but even with that it was still my favourite gap. They are now 13 and 15 and get on really well.

Thank you, that’s lovely to hear. There’s 1 year between him and his little cousin who he’s not seen much of due to lockdown, but he saw her at the weekend and was so affectionate which was lovely. It’s probably different when she was only here for a couple of hours, he might not be the same when he realises the baby isn’t leaving lol! I think I’m a bit worried about me too, I can totally see how you had PND, I imagine it’s really difficult

 

[Babybump87]

My mum had myself and my sister within 12 months ! Crazy I know we are actually the same age for a few days. .So we get called Irish twins ! It was great having a sibling so close in age and annoying at times of course haha

My mum said It hard at times but well worth it ! I’m sure they will be the best of friends !

 

[motherofboys]

Thank you, that’s lovely to hear. There’s 1 year between him and his little cousin who he’s not seen much of due to lockdown, but he saw her at the weekend and was so affectionate which was lovely. It’s probably different when she was only here for a couple of hours, he might not be the same when he realises the baby isn’t leaving lol! I think I’m a bit worried about me too, I can totally see how you had PND, I imagine it’s really difficult

Ds2 never slept, and was not happy in the day time until he could move which didn't help, but they think the PND was less about the actual baby and more about other things really. There were events from when I was younger than had messed with my mental health, plus we were living away from family and friends for the first time when he was born plus like I say no sleep. I've suffered from depression on and off for years but not had pnd again.
There are only 13 months between me and my twin brothers and I loved it growing up. We were always really close even if we did bicker at times haha

 

[Jules8]

I think they just sense change. We don’t even realize how much they hear us talk about the new baby and what it will be like when they get here. It’s exciting, but they really don’t grasp the concept. Mine were super snuggly and wanted to be near me extra when I was pregnant. My first was so affectionate when her sister was a baby. She always wanted to kiss and hold her. My second daughter is ok with her baby brother, but she isn’t as hands on. She just says he’s cute and will kiss him periodically then go about her day.