Going from 1 to 2. Any advice?

[wtbmummy]

Not really sure if I should post in baby club or toddler group but any advice welcome
We already have ds who is 3 end of the month and dd is due in April. We like the age gap as ds very much understands (to a point of course) and is excited about having a sister. He loves my friends baby and is so caring of her. I just know he will be a great big brother. Yes I know there will be some issues of transition for him but im confident at how he will be with his sister (for the most part)

My issue is how will I cope?? Ds still wakes in the night and has night terrors.
He is of course a normal demanding 3yr old. He has preschool 2 whole days a week and by then a morning session also.
I just cant see myself dealing with a baby throughout the night and then getting up with ds in the morning. On 3days then doing the school run and the other two trying to entertain ds and dd whilst doing everything else that needs doing.

I feel like im in over my head as even now im constantly exhausted at 25w let alone later on and then once doing night feeds.

I do suffer with Anxiety disorder also so I know that I may be worrying more than most would but I still cant shake this feeling I will struggle. We have no family around at all to help and dh works 50-80hours pw so i will be doing this mostly alone.

Any advice please to calm my nerves and get me to see the possible light???

Thank you

 

[Teri7489]

Best advice I got - you will cope because you have to! It's do true. Yes in the beginning you will have good and bads days but remember you know what to expect with a newborn. The experience isn't new so that's a big plus on your side. I'll list things I did to be prepared which I found to be helpful.

Pre-made meals to freezer for the nights I'd be too tired to cook. It meant my toddler still got a healthy meal but I didn't have to stand and cook.
Bought plenty good cupboard things. Cereal bars, dried fruit, snacks bars that sort of thing. Meant an easy snack could be there to hand but didn't feed her chocolate or sweets.

Start online food shopping. Can be done while feeding or cuddling baby, delivered to the door and drivers often help to put them straight in to the kitChen.

I had a basket made up of nappies, wipes, change get of clothes and a muslin. Was always to hand and really helped.

Lastly, enjoy it. It's mad, it's tiring but you know what you are doing. You know you will be shattered at times but you will manage! Soon enough you will all be in a great routine that works for you all. My 3 year old had me up more times than my newborn ( and still does sometomes) but I'm here and ready for another one. Big hugs xxx

 

[LoveCakes]

I agree you'll just find a way. Mine are 23m apart and it's exhausting but great. It'll probably take a few weeks but you'll settle into a routine. I found 6 weeks a big turning point where you could entertain the baby while e.g. Dressing the toddler so less crying. I was worried about my toddler having to learn to share me and wait for things as she wasn't great before but has understood it really quickly

My hubby is a great help but he also works away a week or two a month so I'm learning to cope on my own too. I now consider the two days my lo is in nursery my weekend and use it to get housework/ messages done. I will also nap with the baby if I really need it on those days (my toddler no longer naps )

Oh and buy a few sticker books, they kept my LG happy and out of mischief for a while at least sometimes.

 

[babyjan]

You will definitely find a way

My 1st was 4 years and 3 months when my second child was born last April. It was tough in the beginning as we working out a routine but now 9 months later everything is going great. My first was very clingy and still is to an extent but having my second has helped him a lot.
He was the one asking me for a baby brother even before I got pregnant so he absolutely loved babies. Of course we did get the odd jealousy and even now he'll hit him if he climbs on him etc but other than that he adores his baby brother.

I'm currently parenting a lone and have been since my second turned 3 months. School runs isn't bad at all, we just make sure we wake early enough to get them both fed, dressed and ready to leave. If you have OH around that will make it easier but I think the smaller they are the easier it is to do school runs. As you can just leave them in their sleep suits and leave the house lol

 

[donnarobinson]

What pp said you cope because you have to.. you have good and bab days but it's worth
I also have anxiety it's horrible you will be fine tho x

 

[Twag]

Mine are 21 months apart and DS was home 100% of the time with me when I was on maternity leave with DD (I had 6 months off) - it is exhausting but my best tip is use a baby carrier/wrap - it is a godsend as you can still have baby close and they are happy whilst being able to look after your other child and do stuff around the house
Also being organised helps so getting the clothes for the next day out when they go to bed etc so it isn't a mad rush in the mornings to get ready and find everything

Good luck but you will be fine

 

[Deleon63]

Your worries are of a typical mother and a mother to be and know that you'll do a great job in handling it well when the time comes. God created us with the instinct of motherhood and it ALL will plan out in due time. Don't over think your future as it will only bring worries to your present. Big brother will be a little older and allow him to be a great helper, I'm sure he'll be a great big brother. Hoping for the best!

 

[bcos21]

We have almost an exact 3 year gap and its great. I was worried about all of the things that you are but honestly it has worked out perfectly. My son loves his sister. He can play independently some times and now she's almost 3 months old I put her In the carrier, we all sit on the floor and its good. Now. Some days everything does not get done. I tell my husband to pick up his own dinner or I say heads up the house is a wreck. This isn't the norm, but there are DEFINITELY days where both kids shit themselves at the same time. Literally and figuratively. It happens. But then the day is over and we start again.
It is much better than I thought it would be. You can do it

 

[Left wonderin]

Exactly a 2 year age gap here . It is the most crazy amazing time yes its exhausting chaos but wonderful you actually forgt how much new borns sleep too give your self time and expect that it will take some time to adjust , things won't be as they were it will be a new normal . Its great once you accept that let non essentials slide for a while . Once your all fed , sleeping and well your doing great it will be fine enjoy it ... Breath and enjoy it . They get so big so soon and are only newborn for such a short time , I'd love no 3 god help me lol

 

[bcos21]

Exactly a 2 year age gap here . It is the most crazy amazing time yes its exhausting chaos but wonderful you actually forgt how much new borns sleep too give your self time and expect that it will take some time to adjust , things won't be as they were it will be a new normal . Its great once you accept that let non essentials slide for a while . Once your all fed , sleeping and well your doing great it will be fine enjoy it ... Breath and enjoy it . They get so big so soon and are only newborn for such a short time , I'd love no 3 god help me lol

I made my husband agree to consider a third right after my daughter was born lol I think I really want another

 

[broodymrs]

In exactly the same boat and the whole sleep thing is my main concern too.

So no advice but I'll be going through it at a similar time. 😬