Going through a miscarriage as we speak...

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by athenab1984, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. athenab1984

    athenab1984 New Member

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    It's horrible. I never understood or could relate to women who spoke about a miscarriage...until now. It's one of those things only we can understand....

    I went to my new-OB orientation appointment yesterday. After 2 hours of filling out paperwork, getting super excited and receiving my pregnancy journal, I was picking up my bag ready to go home. The nurse says "let's take a quick look at your labs you took prior to this appointment."

    "I'm sorry to tell you, your levels are dropping drastically. You need to prepare for a miscarriage". I handed her the pregnancy journal and cried all the way home.

    :cry:

    LADIES... I have a question. You see, my husband and I already have a daughter who is almost 6. We have been trying for 2.5 years to have another. In August, I used Pre-seed for the first time. Well, I happened to get pregnant that month too. I've had no fertility treatments otherwise.

    My question is, considering it took us so long to get pregnant, do you suppose it will take just as long to get pregnant again after this miscarriage? I've heard many success stories of women who have gotten a BFP right after this miscarriage. Just wondering if anyone has had fertility issues that were sort of "resolved" after the miscarriage. You know, kind of like "re-vamping" your reproductive system.

    Any input would be great........:thumbup:
     
  2. Happy happy

    Happy happy Well-Known Member

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    Im so so sorry for your loss.
    I was the same and pretty ignorant when it came to miscarriage as I'd never experienced it .. until last week that it.
    I can't say for sure but ive read that the first 6 months after a miscarriage you are most fertile, like when you've first delivered. So , providing you're ready and have no preexisting fertility issues, theres no reason it should take as long as it did to conceive your rainbow baby.
    love and hugs to you. We are all here for you if you need us xoxo
     
  3. Lynsey82

    Lynsey82 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I too am miscarrying right now, and it's breaking my heart. I didn't realise I'd feel this way either.
     
  4. Faithforever

    Faithforever Member

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    Hi honey. I wrote some words to explain how I was feeling when I miscarried and I recently posted them on here under the forum name 'Miscarriage- a real memoir'.. It might help you understand what you're going through and there is hope.

    I am truly sorry for your loss. That pain is unbearable and I think it is something that will never truly pass but hopefully one day it will ease x
     
  5. Topanga053

    Topanga053 Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: It's very true. I had several friends who miscarried years ago. I remember feeling bad for them and then forgetting all about it. When they didn't bring it up again, I assumed they were over it. I thought it was sort of a "one time" event. I had no idea how emotionally painful it is or how long that pain lingers. I had to go through it myself to really understand.

    Like one PP said, there is some evidence that you are more likely to have a healthy pregnancy if you get pregnant within 6 months of a miscarriage and some women believe you are more fertile during that time. I have heard plenty of stories here of women getting pregnant immediately after a miscarriage, but I've also heard plenty of stories from women who took a long time to get pregnant again after a loss. Anecdotally anyway, I would say the number of women who get pregnant quickly versus the number of women who take longer is about the same.

    Afm, DH and I only took 2 cycles to get a BFP with the pregnancy that ended in miscarriage and it took us 8 cycles to get pregnant again after the miscarriage. I was depressed while we were TTCAL and depression reduces fertility, but other than that, there was no medical reason for it to take so long. I was charting, so we timed sex perfectly every month and we had some early fertility testing done, so we know that everything was working properly. Unfortunately, TTC is such a gamble. Even if everything is working fine, everything has to align just right and--unfortunately--sometimes that takes awhile.

    If you find that it's taking you awhile again this time, have you considered getting some fertility testing done? Some doctors consider a miscarried pregnancy as "resetting the clock" in terms of the 1 year fertility testing timeline, but you might find one who is willing to do some preliminary tests, especially if it took you 2.5 years to get pregnant this time. Also, do you chart? If not, that can be a really helpful way to make sure you're timing everything well. I only learned that I ovulate late in my cycle (CD21 instead of the "normal" CD14) as a result of charting. Otherwise, we might very well have been having sex too soon every month.

    Good luck and I'm so sorry for your loss.
     
  6. athenab1984

    athenab1984 New Member

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    Hi ladies.

    I appreciate your feedback and I empathize with you for your losses as well. I've spent my day holding back tears-- I am sort of an emotional wreck right now. The only thing that sort of consoles me is that the miscarriage happened so early-- before there was even a heartbeat. So, in my mind, I just kind of console myself by saying "I am glad my baby didn't have a heart beat and then die". I guess that sounds a little ridiculous but it helps this process for me, as I don't know what else will help.

    My levels are steadily dropping-- I was at 200 on Tuesday, and 186 yesterday. I will be going back tomorrow and then next week to ensure my levels have gone all the way down. I will then take a test to ensure a negative test.

    I started charting in August, and ended up pregnant that month too, so I haven't been able to pin point my ovulation. BUT I have been using an app for the past 2 years and the projected ovulation dates that it was giving me..did not work. In august, we emphasized the baby-making dance a week earlier than the app told me AND I used Pre-seed and Soft cups. I got pregnant....so I plan on doing this again.

    Thank you again ladies. I hope the best for all of you!:hugs:
     

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