Gone to bed hungry..

[lily24]

DS is 5 years old and is set in his ways when it comes to what he likes and what he doesn't. I wouldn't say he's fussy, just head strong

So tonight I gave him his dinner, the same as the rest of the family and he refused to eat it (pasta bake) I told him he would get no pudding or supper before bed if he didn't eat it and of course he plays the 'I don't want pudding' etc card.

Iv sent him to bed and he's complaining he's hungry. I feel awful but I also feel I have to stand my ground. I cannot make two different dinners every night i don't have the time!

Am I in the wrong with my decision?

 

[lily24]

.

 

[4 boys]

Your not a bad mum.
I had this other night with my 9 yr old it was tough but I stuck to it and so far he not moaned about another meal since..
He was starving in the morning

 

[suzib76]

its not something i would do personally. each to their own i guess but the thought of sending one of my kids to bed whilst they were hungry wouldnt sit right with me.

for me i try very hard with the kids not to enter into food battles, imo it can create bigger problems which are not necessary.

is it possible he maybe just didn't like the food? in which case i would offer something else, or if he was just being defiant and refusing to ea for no reason i would ignore and then probably offer toast and yogurt or something for supper.

 

[tasha41]

I save E's plate when she does things like that, and then if she says she is hungry later, she can have it back.

There's only 3 of us so I really only cook things I think we will all like. She's not picky at all, just gets it set in her mind what she wants to have for dinner sometimes and will refuse foods I know she likes at times

 

[4 boys]

how was your son this morning

I know it sounds harsh putting them to bed hungry it's difficult it depends why your son didn't want to eat ie messing on purpose, not hungry,tired,unwell, if he normally does it then it's something you need to work on and change slowly..
I make a variety at meal times but we all I have the same, but that night with my 9yr he just was sat there for half an hour messing about arguing fighting just causing a major argument like he does all the time. In the end he knocked his plate off the table complete mess everywhere and to be honest I lost it and sent I him out of my way...nope:

It's not easy but you do what you feel is right and talk with your other half and agree together what you think is suitable.

 

[CandyDay]

If its something you know that he likes and he just is refusing for refusings sake then I wouldn't give anything else to eat until he ate his dinner. I would say okay if you don't want it now then I will save it for you for later. I have done that with my son. And he usually will grumble about it and eat most of it. Once I ended up saving it till bedtime and then he wanted a snack so I pulled out his supper and said you can eat this. And when your done then you can pick a snack. I always make sure that for dinner there is at least one thing I know each of my children like. And if they refuse to eat the other stuff on the plate that I know they don't really like I usually ask them to eat half of it and that is good enough.

 

[JASMAK]

I had a dietician for my daughter and dessert should not be used as a reward, or punishment. If you are going to give it, give it. Otherwise, if you suspect he wont eat, I would just make it a non dessert day for everyone. It is actually supposed to be served with dinner....but I have never done that. I don't agree with food as rewards/punishments. My daughter has asd, and the therapists used to reward her with candy....I pit a stop to that quick!!! The used toys instead. Its not healthy. But...its how we were brought up. I am anorexic/eating disorder, binge eater.....my parents withheld and forced food.

 

[OmarsMum]

If he asks for food he gets it, I have a picky eater & restless sleeper, I wouldn't send him to bed without food if he says he's hungry. If it's food I know he likes, I offer him the same again, if he's not in a mood for a hot meal & he asks for yoghurt or fruit pot, he gets it. But if he doesnt ask, I dont offer him anything. We dont do dessert after main meals, we dont eat fruits or any type of dessert after food.

I do cook separetly for him if I know he's not keen on eating what we're having, & his meals are always healthy.

I dont always feel like eating a heavy meal for dinner, I eat a salad most of the time, I have full access to all the food in the fridge, so I dont understand why it shouldn't be the same for my kid. We dont keep junk or sweets at home, our diet is very healthy, all the food at home including snacks are healthy, so I know if he skips a meal for a snack after an hour it shouldn't be an issue as he will get something healthy & nutritious at the end.

 

[shanny]

If its something you know that he likes and he just is refusing for refusings sake then I wouldn't give anything else to eat until he ate his dinner. I would say okay if you don't want it now then I will save it for you for later. I have done that with my son. And he usually will grumble about it and eat most of it. Once I ended up saving it till bedtime and then he wanted a snack so I pulled out his supper and said you can eat this. And when your done then you can pick a snack. I always make sure that for dinner there is at least one thing I know each of my children like. And if they refuse to eat the other stuff on the plate that I know they don't really like I usually ask them to eat half of it and that is good enough.

this is me..........i am not a cafe........i find the leftover dinner and 3 more mouthfulls effective.....also there is no pudding............or they have to wait until others have finished and they get bored and eat anyway