Gonny strangle DH!

[Just_married]

Just another rant! Could strangle my man today......this is the 3rd cycle (out of 11) he has decided he needs a wee rest from BD for a night and it just flipping happens to be the day I get 2nd +opk in a row & ov pains.

It wouldn't bother me so much, but it is essentially him that wants to have baby (I would be happy either way) but it's me who has to cheer him up when the witch comes, it's me that's taking soy & getting side effects, it's me that's trying to time BD with ovulation as he doesn't want me to tell him my fertile days in case it makes bedtime fun become about pregnancy & technical.

Sorry girls, I just need to rant. I love him to bits, he's the live of my life but this is cycle 11 and as some of you may know 10 disappointments in a row add up to wanting to do everything possible to make it work. I don't want to say all this to him as I doubt he would really understand and I don't want to make it into an issue where he is scared to gave a night off BDing in case it upsets me, I just wish his timing was better!

Thanks for listening!
I feel better now putting it down in print here.
JM xxx

 

[l8bloomer]

I know how you feel. This last cycle, DH couldn't finish the job, right on my peak day. He said all the TTC talk, had taken the fun out of BD and he's feeling the pressure. Sigh...there's nothing I can do, except to not discuss any TTC related subjects with him.

Hopefully it goes better this month, for you and for me.

 

[Just_married]

I know how you feel. This last cycle, DH couldn't finish the job, right on my peak day. He said all the TTC talk, had taken the fun out of BD and he's feeling the pressure. Sigh...there's nothing I can do, except to not discuss any TTC related subjects with him.

Hopefully it goes better this month, for you and for me.

Oh I'm glad someone understands lol. I don't even tell him when I'm fertile it's as if he senses it lol, feels the pressure... (pressure??!)

Anyways, as you say, fingers crossed for you & me, hope u got some practice in on days leading up to it (we did) but it's always more reassuring to know you managed on right day....however many on this forum have said they are amazed with their bfp as they had only BD once a few days before ov.

Hugs to you xxx

 

[PositiveUs]

That is some serious bulls***t!!!!!!!!!
They aren't the ones changing every little thing they do in their lives!!!!!!
They are asked to do one thing right, Have a F***ing orgasm!!!!!!!!!!!!
How freaking hard is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????
There is no excuse for the little pu**ies these men become about their precious sperm. But they can go out and do every other "guy" thing except when it REALLY counts.
I am sorry but I don't think there is ANY excuse for this sissy behavior. They choose when they wanna be real "men" but then when they wanna be little girls that's ok. But we HAVE TO BE GROWN UP and RESPONSIBLE ALL THE TIME, no excuses for us as women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Natsby]

I feel your frustration, mine has done that several times too. mind you I could cheerfully strangle him most days! TTC puts stress and pressure on both sides, stupid bodys for not working better. Still Sperm can last a few days inside so you aren´t out if he DTD in the days running up to OV. Good luck hun.

 

[Just_married]

That is some serious bulls***t!!!!!!!!!
They aren't the ones changing every little thing they do in their lives!!!!!!
They are asked to do one thing right, Have a F***ing orgasm!!!!!!!!!!!!
How freaking hard is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????
There is no excuse for the little pu**ies these men become about their precious sperm. But they can go out and do every other "guy" thing except when it REALLY counts.
I am sorry but I don't think there is ANY excuse for this sissy behavior. They choose when they wanna be real "men" but then when they wanna be little girls that's ok. But we HAVE TO BE GROWN UP and RESPONSIBLE ALL THE TIME, no excuses for us as women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel your pain Pos! Man, you're really mad! More angry than me now I think lol, you made me laugh! Yeah, imagine the audacity of me asking him to go to all the bother of having an orgasm

I feel your frustration, mine has done that several times too. mind you I could cheerfully strangle him most days! TTC puts stress and pressure on both sides, stupid bodys for not working better. Still Sperm can last a few days inside so you aren´t out if he DTD in the days running up to OV. Good luck hun.

Fingers crossed Natsby, I just really wanted to take every chance possible, I'm not crazily desperate, I just want to do everything reasonable to avoid another disappointment.

Thanks you both! x

 

[HPMINI]

I'm having the issue that whenever my peak fertility arrives my OH is either not well or on night shifts. He works 12 hour shifts so is quite shattered but he also knows it is important to fit 15 minutes in with me at some point this weekend. Otherwise I think we will have to rely on last thursdays efforts!!

 

[jessandaj]

Yeah i know how that is it took my husband everything to finish the job on the day i got a pos opk i mean i wasint mad at him he was sick and tired from work but it was super dissapointing for me just hoping it worked hope you get a bfp

 

[NorthStar]

Hmm nightly might be too much for him by the sounds of it, 36-48 hourly might be a better option if his drive is not high?

My FS said that up to 48 hourly was fine for TTC purposes, and for couples where the man has a lower sperm count it is actually better not to do it every day so you might be stressing yourself a bit too much about this?

 

[Just_married]

Hmm nightly might be too much for him by the sounds of it, 36-48 hourly might be a better option if his drive is not high?

My FS said that up to 48 hourly was fine for TTC purposes, and for couples where the man has a lower sperm count it is actually better not to do it every day so you might be stressing yourself a bit too much about this?

90% of the time I leave instigating the BD to him. We did discuss timing it to 36/48 hr intervals, but he said 'keep it spontaneous'. Completely of his own choice he wanted to baby dance every night in the 4 nights leading up to + opk. I never tell him when I'm ovulating as we want to keep sex fun & spontaneous.

So if I did try to time it every 48 hrs I have a worry that it would make sex regimental. I also read that some FS say every day is too much, but it's entirely dependent on the individual, and for most there are good quality sperm after 24hrs.

Thanks for your comments though, glad we can all share our experience & knowledge. All the best for you guys when you decide to TTC again xxx

 

[HPMINI]

I tried being spontaneous initially and not telling him but that would just leave me stressed when it didn't happen. How hard can it be!!
I thought I might be able to fit in a quickie in between shifts but apparently not!

 

[CHILLbilly]

PositiveUs- those have been my feelings in the past for sure.......
I wonder if its the whole issue of foreplay and actually putting an effort to have sex......Cause I bet they wouldn't turn down a bj.......
LOL

and being on clomid....I actually wanted to smack him and say GET OFF ME!!! when he was done.... I just want your hahahaha

 

[alison29]

PositiveUs- those have been my feelings in the past for sure.......
I wonder if its the whole issue of foreplay and actually putting an effort to have sex......Cause I bet they wouldn't turn down a bj.......
LOL

and being on clomid....I actually wanted to smack him and say GET OFF ME!!! when he was done.... I just want your hahahaha

too funny

 

[PositiveUs]

Some guys need things to be straight forward and laid out on paper.
For my man, it is best that I specifically outline when BD is to take place.
I make sure he knows specific dates for BD so that we have a "date".
I also need to make sure he is not doing it without me!!!!!!!!!!
If I don't outline specific times, it won't happen.
Thank God he has no quams about being told when. Thank God he has no performance anxiety; he doesn't feel this "pressure" to perform like I hear a lot of ladies on here talk about.
They all have their strengths and WEAKNESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[CHILLbilly]

I have a calander on my fridge that i highlight our SEX days.......
That way its a reminder for both of us to make a "date" for that day or night.....


positiveus- i hear ya about the doing it without me...lol Its free game up til cd 10 then its all mine..bahahaha

 

[Just_married]

I have a calander on my fridge that i highlight our SEX days.......
That way its a reminder for both of us to make a "date" for that day or night.....


positiveus- i hear ya about the doing it without me...lol Its free game up til cd 10 then its all mine..bahahaha

Fantastic that you have found a system that works for you guys

I don't think it would work for everyone though, I know I'd be peeved if I was I'm the mood the night before I was scheduled and we couldn't... Lol x

 

[PositiveUs]

I have a calander on my fridge that i highlight our SEX days.......
That way its a reminder for both of us to make a "date" for that day or night.....


positiveus- i hear ya about the doing it without me...lol Its free game up til cd 10 then its all mine..bahahaha

Fantastic that you have found a system that works for you guys

I don't think it would work for everyone though, I know I'd be peeved if I was I'm the mood the night before I was scheduled and we couldn't... Lol x

I hear you Just_married, but what if you need him to save up the sperm for 2 days before? Then it would be ok to wait right?

 

[Just_married]

I have a calander on my fridge that i highlight our SEX days.......
That way its a reminder for both of us to make a "date" for that day or night.....


positiveus- i hear ya about the doing it without me...lol Its free game up til cd 10 then its all mine..bahahaha

Fantastic that you have found a system that works for you guys

I don't think it would work for everyone though, I know I'd be peeved if I was I'm the mood the night before I was scheduled and we couldn't... Lol x

I hear you Just_married, but what if you need him to save up the sperm for 2 days before? Then it would be ok to wait right?

Been pregnant 3 times in my life, all within 3 month of stopping birth control, and never where I was having 1 or 2 night breaks (dont want to give tmi lol) so in my opinion it doesn't make a difference, 24 hrs is enough in my experience lol x

 

[goldie66]

PositiveUs- those have been my feelings in the past for sure.......
I wonder if its the whole issue of foreplay and actually putting an effort to have sex......Cause I bet they wouldn't turn down a bj.......
LOL

and being on clomid....I actually wanted to smack him and say GET OFF ME!!! when he was done.... I just want your hahahaha

too funny

That made me laugh