Good friend of mine had a mmc

[Jessicahide]

Feeling devastated for her, the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks, she went for her 12 week scan today, I just can't believe how cruel nature can be, 4 whole weeks and baby stayed put!

It's horrible

 

[LoveCakes]

Aw so sad your poor friend

 

[Jessicahide]

She is devastated, and i feel terrible as i am just over 3 weeks ahead of her, we have been talking and giggling and dreaming of out little ones, and hers has been snatched away from her...

 

[darkriver]

Its so cruel. Nature is awful.

 

[lucy_x]

It's very hard. Almost the exact same scenario happened to me. Miscarriage is cruel, very cruel and an almost taboo subject. Please make your friend know your there for her, she will be very lost and lonely x

 

[Jessicahide]

It's very hard. Almost the exact same scenario happened to me. Miscarriage is cruel, very cruel and an almost taboo subject. Please make your friend know your there for her, she will be very lost and lonely x

I have, i told her i am here whenever she needs me to cry with or moan at or vent, i told her know what its like to lose a baby, it's the hopes and dreams for the little one that is extra crushing, and i know how she feels xxx

 

[Blessedbaby]

sorry to read about your friend's loss ... I too had a MMC in 2012 at 10 weeks my baby stopped growing at 6 weeks ... my one colleague has had 2 consecutive MC recently and it breaks my heart for her ... if the first one stuck she would have been due early Nov ... I cannot even talk to her about anything pregnancy related right now ... Im glad you are there for your friend ...

 

[lilesMom]

This is gonna sound terrible
But she might not be able to talk to u for a little bit too
Since ur preg were close.
Maybe let her know u understand if she has to too
Hugs to u and ur friend
My first mmc , my sil and me were due two days apart
Looking at her bump growing made me feel awful
Then guilty for feeling jealous.
Giant hugs xx

 

[Jessicahide]

This is gonna sound terrible
But she might not be able to talk to u for a little bit too
Since ur preg were close.
Maybe let her know u understand if she has to too
Hugs to u and ur friend
My first mmc , my sil and me were due two days apart
Looking at her bump growing made me feel awful
Then guilty for feeling jealous.
Giant hugs xx

This is what i am worried about most of all, i don't want to keep contacting her if she feels like i am a trigger, i sent her some messages this morning, asked her if she managed to sleep and how her partner was coping, they have both taken time off work to heal xxx But she has not even passed the baby yet, and my initial response is to cook her something and take it round, but i don't want to intrude.

 

[lilesMom]

Ur a really nice friend xxx
I would go with ur gut.
I would cook it and take round
But if u think she seems to want to be alone id leave quickly and just say that your always on other end of phone when she is ready
Hugs hon.
Tough situation for ye both xxx
U sound caring and considerate
So I'm sure she will appreciate all your help x

 

[lilesMom]

My mil made us fish pie on day of my first d and c
And gave it to my oh to bring home to us
I felt really cared for by that gesture.
It still sticks in my head as so nice.

 

[Jessicahide]

My mil made us fish pie on day of my first d and c
And gave it to my oh to bring home to us
I felt really cared for by that gesture.
It still sticks in my head as so nice.

Ah that's very sweet xxxx

 

[smileyfaces]

So sad. X

 

[xsadiex]

Oh no, how awful. I really feel for, it must be heartbreaking x

 

[Jessicahide]

So update ish, i contacted her this morning and said this:


llo love, i just wanted to put something out there, as i know how hard things are for you now. I will understand completely if you need me to give you some space as its going to play on your mind and hurt your heart knowing i am pregnant, and that is not a feeling you can help in any way, i really want to be here and support you as much as i can, but i want you to be able to say that you would prefer not to hear from me for a while, it wont hurt my feelings at all, i just want to do what ever makes you feel happy xxxx

Now i feel like i might have said the wrong thing.... ffs!!! Why didn't i just shut up!!

 

[lilesMom]

I think there is no right and wrong thing to say
The fact your thinking of her feelings and supporting her us what's important
She knows ur there for her now
But also knows its ok if she needs space
I think your doing great hon.
Don't overthink it
U know ur friend and ur friendship
Just go with ur gut and be there for her when needed xxx

 

[Jessicahide]

I think there is no right and wrong thing to say
The fact your thinking of her feelings and supporting her us what's important
She knows ur there for her now
But also knows its ok if she needs space
I think your doing great hon.
Don't overthink it
U know ur friend and ur friendship
Just go with ur gut and be there for her when needed xxx

Thank you for this, no need for me to panic, she sent back saying that she couldn't get through this without the support of myself and some of our friends, few! I really thought i may have said the wrong thing.

 

[lilesMom]

Glad she messaged u that.
Hope she recovers as fast as poss.
Poor girl, an awful shock to get at the scan xx