Grandmother calling herself Mama

[GingerNut]

My mother is VERY enthusiastic about Rosie.

When I was pregnant, she gave out to me for buying baby things or crocheting baby clothes, saying that it was her job, not mine. She introduced me to people not by name but as 'the daughter who's making me a grandmother'. She said it was a pity I wasn't having twins so she could have one of them. She rang constantly when I was in labour even though I asked her not to and when I stopped answering, rang DH constantly instead. She's all about her relationship with the baby; it feels like she only ever had me so I'd give her Rosie.

Since Rosie was born I've caught her calling herself 'Mama' when she's talking to her. She says it's accidental but it's happening more and more often and I REALLY don't like it. She makes ms feel like I'm overreacting and unreasonable if I say anything.

Reassure me that I'm not, please : )

 

[MrsBop]

No way are you over-reacting!! She sounds over bearing (sorry!) I really think you need to sit her down and tell her how it is. xx

 

[clara123]

Yeah I agree. Tell her she will eventually confuse Rosie. Poor you x

 

[leannehurren]

Not over reacting at all - I would be fuming!! You need to sit her down and talk as at the end of the day YOU'RE her mum and what u say goes!!

 

[tessica123]

my mil calls her self mama to all her grankids but says it mo mar

i dont mid with her saying it like that but if she said mama id not be happy

 

[live_in_hope]

my mil calls her self mama to all her grankids but says it mo mar

i dont mid with her saying it like that but if she said mama id not be happy

I work with children and I knew somebody who called their grandmother Mum-mar and if she collected and somebody said, L** your Nans here, god she'd correct you within a 2nd!

But yer, I'd feel really miffed if my mum was like that, you need to tell her. I s she quite approachable?

Good luck! xx

 

[Leesie]

I have a similar problem with my mum. She's called LO "my baby" the whole time I was pregnant as in "Can't wait till my baby's here" etc... And once he was born said she had strong feelings of wanting to BF him and I don't totally trust that she woundn't have actually tried it (she's that loony). Also she claims he was calling her mama at 5 months. The way she carries on drives my OH nuts.

I don't think you're overreacting at all. I've decided to just ignore my mum's behaviour though, she's a real attention-seeker and for me I think it's best to just smile and change the subject than make a big deal out of it.

I did ask her not to refer to herself as my LO's mummy though which she was doing for the first few months. I did it in a joking sort of a way so that she wouldn't continue to do it just for attention/ a reaction though. Seemed to work.

 

[Dragonfly]

That is soo not on! very wrong she has crossed a line there. She can be over bearing granny making booties all she wants but she is not your baby MAMA! even saying that is wrong.

 

[Dragonfly]

I have a similar problem with my mum. She's called LO "my baby" the whole time I was pregnant as in "Can't wait till my baby's here" etc... And once he was born said she had strong feelings of wanting to BF him :sick: and I don't totally trust that she woundn't have actually tried it (she's that loony). Also she claims he was calling her mama at 5 months. The way she carries on drives my OH nuts.

I don't think you're overreacting at all. I've decided to just ignore my mum's behaviour though, she's a real attention-seeker and for me I think it's best to just smile and change the subject than make a big deal out of it.

I did ask her not to refer to herself as my LO's mummy though which she was doing for the first few months. I did it in a joking sort of a way so that she wouldn't continue to do it just for attention/ a reaction though. Seemed to work.

The only thing my mum said which crossed the line was that she wanted her maiden name on the birth cert and not my other halfs at all! didnt want him to have his name there or my son to have his surname. Among other fights about feeding and names. She backed off now we dont speak.

 

[Missy86]

I dont like that. MIL calls him her baby sometimes and it drives me nuts
He is my baby

 

[vkj73]

you should totally honor how you feel and go with your instinct.
my mil called our lo her baby and it drove me crazy as others have posted.
i think i even said something.

it's probably better to say something sooner than later, or it will just build and get worse for you.

i think if you say it in a calm, loving way (i.e. "mom, i know you're so excited about the baby and love her so much, but sometimes when you say ________ i feel"). it's all about the "i feel" statements when the situation is delicate.

i've posted this before on here,
"the people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter."

she's YOUR baby and you should stand up for how you feel.

 

[Cariad_bach]

Id hate it, you really need to talk to her about it xx

 

[HannahsMummy]

You need to say something, I would hate it tbh...

Also your Mum should be proud to be a nana! She has already been a mama to you. It will just confuse your LO later on, and when she asks for mama you won't know who she wants!

 

[MrsQ]

I dont like that. MIL calls him her baby sometimes and it drives me nuts
He is my baby

My mil was like this and on facbeook would ALWAYS comment how he looks like her and any milestone he does its cos of her when hes 9 months old and shes prob seen him 10 times?

She knows it annoys me i think and now does it as a joke so i dont mind.

But NOONE apart from me and my husband will call our baby their baby!

 

[Justagirlxx]

She sounds like my MIL I hate it so much, its like I dont exist only the baby does, and she doesnt have to bother with me anymore now that he's born. Shes made him a room in her house like its her baby... she goes way over the top and has "accidentally" called herself mama a few times also, its called a Freudian slip, its obviously what they really want. Maybe they really miss their kids being babies... I dunno but it makes me so mad. She is constantly undermining me as a mother also. Also she has a bunch of pictures up on facebook of the baby but absolutely NONE of him and I together. Like I dont exist at all.

 

[Aunty E]

Wow, that sounds horrible! I'm luck my MiL lives a long way away and my mum got all of that stuff out of her system with 5 kids and three grandchildren before Mog!

My MiL called Mog 'my baby' once in a text when she was looking after her for a week (not my idea, and I hated it) and I didn't speak to her for four weeks because I couldn't trust myself not to say something I'd regret later. I think you need to speak to your mum about how it makes you feel - or not see her

 

[steffi2]

Maybe the next time she tells LO to call her mama you should correct her and say Nana. Then if she reacts you can ask her what she would want your LO to call her since mama is reserved for you. My friend's son calls his grandma ma-maaaah. It sounds a bit different from mama and he calls his grandpa pa-paaah. He calls his father daddy and his mom mommy. I always asked my mom what she would want her grandkids to call her. My mom hates to be called grandma as that for her sounds way too old. So she chose Oma (german grandmother). My dad is grumpa.

 

[cherryglitter]

I dont like that. MIL calls him her baby sometimes and it drives me nuts
He is my baby

I get annoyed with that too!
My Dad and OH's parents do it.

"How is MY baby"

Drives me mad!

 

[Kaites]

I'd be annoyed too- my mum still accidentally calls herself Mummy with Emma but I've reached the point where I just roll my eyes at her. My dad calls Emma and I "his girls" too. I tease them that they are going senile if they think Emma is their kid- it used to bother me at the beginning, but they have such a great relationship with Emma that I can overlook it now- Emma knows who her mum is so I'm not too worried about the occasional slip from my mum.

 

[halas]

that would anoy me so much my dd is 19 months old and has overheard me and my sister calling our mum mum so she sometimes gets mixed up and calls her mum and my mum is quick to corect her and say no im nanna. i think you need to have a word with ur mum that is way out of line she needs to know that or ur lo's going to get confused