Grandparents

[Firef1y72]

Before I get to my question a little background

Three year old Freddy is a much doted on only grandchild/great grand child. But Freddy has difficulties, quite significant difficulties. He is hypermobile with poor muscle tone, has a significant speech delay and moderate learning difficulties/gdd. Developmentally he is at an 18 month level but further behind in speech and social skills. He uses some Makaton along with a few words. He cannot walk for long distances or sit for long without support, it's hyperactive with a very poor attention span and has some sensory issues such as smearing and pica. He is also a poor sleeper who takes a long time to drop off and wakes most nights with night terrors. In short he is a wonderful little boy who battles with difficulties and needs constant supervision.

Now my question Is, How do I get his doting nan and great Grandma to accept that he will not "grow out" of his problems and will always finding learning new skills difficult. That Yes he is making progress and will continue to do so, but each milestone will take him that much longer and his overall delay may actually increase. This is all particularly pertinent in the face of the fact he will be gaining a new brother or sister at the end of the year and I want them to be able to understand the situation before the baby starts passing milestones at the correct times.

 

[RachA]

Hi.

I would say that the best thing you could do is take the great/grandparents along to your next meeting with anyone who is involved with your son.
We have regular meetings with SALT, Child Development Centre, Education and Esther's Playschool so there are plenty of people for my MIL to question if needs be (she's the only family member who seems to think Esther will just grow out of her speech delay etc).

Those people should be able to field questions well and impress upon the adults that your DS isn't just going to suddenly be ok one day when he wakes up.

It's hard when people are like that but they do come around eventually.

 

[shopgirl771]

havent got any advice im afraid but know how u feel as my MIL is the same. its frustrating as she works in mental health and i think she of all people should be understanding. i think she thought he was too young and would "grow out of it" but the older he gets the more blindingly obvious it is. i think its starting to sink in now as hes seen a pediatrician whos said somethings not right - no diagnosis just yet tho! she keeps saying its just his speech thats a bit slow but she cant get her head around the fact thats a side effect of bigger issues.

she tells us not to worry and its like - were not! hes getting great help and support and he is the way he is. i think its her whose worried!

i told my FIL the other day that our LG has glue ear and he was all like, kids have got everything these days. shes too young for them to say this!!! (rolls eyes) lol

 

[Tiff]

Thankfully my SIL works with kiddos who have Autism so MIL is very understanding to Claire's needs. My mother however, doesn't believe it at all and constantly says things like how the reason why Claire "is the way she is" because I don't do enough with her. I don't play enough with her, I don't read enough to her... its incredibly hurtful.

I'm afraid I don't have much advice, but wanted to give some and support.