Graphic: Shocked.

[darkriver]

I have been miscarrying since yesterday and today I felt a plob and saw my baby. It was curled up and tiny. My husband was in the room when it fell into my pad and I am feeling so shocked and traumatised. I know they warn you about it, but nothing prepares you for it. I did what any grieving thinking person would and flushed the baby down the toilet.

 

[Starry Night]

The only one of my angels I saw was my son's lost twin. I was on the toilet while bleeding and when I wiped I saw it on the toilet paper. I never got a close look at it as it was half-covered by a clot. It was like a hard, pinkish bean (I was just under 9 weeks at the time). Yeah, it was really upsetting to see and I also flushed it down the toilet. I do now wish I had kept it so my doctor would believe me that this twin did exist. I told my GP about it recently and he laughed at me and said "that's not likely". I'm not a simpleton. I know what a fetus looks like. With my other losses I had so much blood and clots I would have had to fish through the toilet to find my baby and I didn't want to go through my own gore.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope that one day the memory of seeing your baby will help bring you closure.

 

[Mummy to be x]

I've been there Hun with my first loss and it truly is awful, it's just not what you expect is it. Huge hugs xx

 

[darkriver]

No its scary and I cant believe its happened. I had a chemical in December but this has really broken me.

 

[DragonflyWing]

I'm so sorry for your loss, darkriver.

 

[confuzion]

I'm so sorry for your loss darkriver.

I also saw my baby when I miscarried in November. She had little hands (5 fingers and everything)..little feet. Little eyes. It was so heartbreaking. I wanted chromosomal testing though so I saved her in saline solution like my midwife asked me to. I don't know what they did with her after the tests. Sometimes I wonder.

 

[lewood88]

So sorry for your loss I'm glad I didn't see mine but it really is an awful thing to go through

 

[Mrs W 11]

I'm so sorry I saw my baby too. Devastating.

 

[Starry Night]

No its scary and I cant believe its happened. I had a chemical in December but this has really broken me.

I felt sick when I saw mine but now that a few years have gone by it has helped give me closure...especially since doctors don't want to 'count' lost twins.

 

[lhancock90]

I'm so so sorry for your loss

 

[curlykate]

I saw mine yesterday, too. No matter how much I prepared myself for it, seeing it was really tough. I had no choice but to flush it, as there was so much gore in the toilet, once it sunk to the bottom I never would have found it again. I got a good enough look at it to know what it was though, and it took me a long time to work up to flushing the toilet.

 

[darkriver]

Hugs hun.

 

[persephone13]

I miscarried on Thursday, and I didn't even get the option to see it. It fell into the toilet at the hospital and was automatically flushed. In some ways maybe it was better that way, but I would have liked to see it, just once.

 

[blueskai]

I saw my first baby too. I wiped and got the shock of my life when it appeared on the tissue after suffering a massive sharp pain I was just under 7weeks so baby was very very small, and still inside the sac.

I wrapped him up and took him with me to the Gynae emergency room, where they took it away from me and I was examined.

Horrible memories
xo

 

[Button#]

I saw mine yesterday too. It was still early so looked just like a bean. It gave me sense of it being final.

 

[essie0828]

So sorry for your loss. And like lots of other ladies here, I to saw my first little bean before it slid down the shower drain. I crouched to get a close look at a curled up, tiny, gray bean but couldn't bring myself to pick it up. My second loss was at 16weeks and after a failed induction I had to have a D &E. That time I woke up as the doctor was counting the parts of my baby and hearing those parts splat into a medical waste container. That was four years ago and I can still hear those sounds like a recording playing in my head. Now I am pretty sure that another MC is about to happen and I am gonna make damn sure that they keep me knocked out until I am in the recovery room.

 

[charlie15]

So sorry for your loss. And like lots of other ladies here, I to saw my first little bean before it slid down the shower drain. I crouched to get a close look at a curled up, tiny, gray bean but couldn't bring myself to pick it up. My second loss was at 16weeks and after a failed induction I had to have a D &E. That time I woke up as the doctor was counting the parts of my baby and hearing those parts splat into a medical waste container. That was four years ago and I can still hear those sounds like a recording playing in my head. Now I am pretty sure that another MC is about to happen and I am gonna make damn sure that they keep me knocked out until I am in the recovery room.

Bless you, that's an awful thing to go through, I am so sorry

The waiting is awful isn't it to see what will or won't be. I am waiting to miscarry now, no symptoms whatsoever, just hope it happens soon.

 

[essie0828]

I have a confirmation scan on Wed to make sure but we haven't heard a hb on doppler for a while now. That and my pregnancy symptoms are all but gone. I'm all but sure that this is a MMC. My body just never seems to want to let go, things never start natural for me, I always have to take the meds or go for surgery. The waiting is terrible and I am so sorry you are in the same horriable limbo.