Grrrr... HV visit :-/

[MsEmski]

So, we just had our eight month HV check & I'm a bit peeved. The woman was good- quick & to the point, but I got really annoyed with one of her remarks.

I'd posted a few weeks ago in the natural parent section as I'd had a run-in with the weaning woman who'd lectured me about the dangers of co-sleeping. This one said "is he sleeping, all night, in his cot?". I kinda side-stepped this as I didn't want another I'll-informed lecture, but instead got the comment...

"They don't need to feed at night now, if he's feeding at night still it's behavioural."

What worries me is that he's 10 months, the WHO guidelines are for 2 years and I have the sense to have researched & know in my heart that this is tosh... He'll sleep better, feed less & be less reliant upon me at night when HE'S ready.

Continuing to give him what he needs is called nurturing him...

How many mums are going to feel pressured to stop early? I know girl up the road who was advised to cut night & evening feeds of her 1 year old. Seriously?! Is it just me who thinks there needs to be some better breastfeeding focused training or normality in the NHS (& the UK)?

Rant over!

 

[Foogirl]

Um, am I missing something? Did she not say he just doesn't need the feed at night? WHO's guidelines are for breastfeeding generally aren't they? I don't think they say you should feed all night

 

[leighbaby]

It annoys me too. As long as I am happy to feed, who cares?! My LO has his best feeds at night anyway, to me thats more important than filling him up on other things just so that he sleeps conveniently!

 

[A3my]

I find that HV all say different things. Even if it is behavioural so what if your son wants to be close to his mummy at night. I will do the same as you and nuture my son as he needs.

 

[MsEmski]

Perhaps I've not described the whole thing properly, bit she was saying that there was NO way at all that my child needed a feed during the night. That him waking for a feed (which, believe me is a full feed) is entirely behavioural.

Do you ever wake up thirsty during the night? Do you ever wake up & need a hug & comfort after a bad dream?

The guidelines do say two years at minimum. But I suppose my rant wasn't quite ranty enough.

Maybe I shouldn't have started the thread, sorry I was annoyed. Will make the OH listen again to it.

 

[leighbaby]

I'm confused?! I was agreeing with you...

 

[A3my]

How old is your HV? I know things have changed a lot since I had my last baby 10 years ago and the "baby-led" way of parenting wasnt something I'd heard of when I had my daughters. I went with what seemed right to me back then and stopped night feeds when my daughters were ready. I TW them and I plan to BLW my son. I've read they need milk feeds for longer with BLW. maybe your HV has been around a while and is quite traditional.

Don't feel bad about ranting

 

[Foogirl]

Perhaps I've not described the whole thing properly, bit she was saying that there was NO way at all that my child needed a feed during the night. That him waking for a feed (which, believe me is a full feed) is entirely behavioural.

Do you ever wake up thirsty during the night? Do you ever wake up & need a hug & comfort after a bad dream?

The guidelines do say two years at minimum. But I suppose my rant wasn't quite ranty enough.

Maybe I shouldn't have started the thread, sorry I was annoyed. Will make the OH listen again to it.

Rant away. I'm just confused and a little concerned that I thought the WHO guidelines were for breastfeeding til 2, not feeding at night til that age and I might not have that right.

She might be right, it might be behavioural. But she might also have it wrong and your LO needs to have the night feed. Only you can answer that one, and do whatever is best for your LO. If your HV says anything again, simply tell her you disagree and wish to continue doing it.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

What does that even mean, 'it's behavioural'? I don't really understand, I've heard it said before in the context of night feeding / waking and am confused...

 

[MsEmski]

Sorry, I'm a little snappy tonight.

She explained the 'behavioural' bit as him not physically needing to feed.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I don't agree with that, if he is waking and wanting to feed then he needs it IMO. Silly HV. Obviously she can't see how much he is getting at each feed, so she can't possibly say he doesn't need to feed at night.

 

[KrisKitten]

I think the idea is that when they are younger if they wake for a feed at night it would be nutritionally wrong (lol bad phrase but its late) to deprive them of it, it would be the equivilent of not eating a meal in the day iykwim?
After about 7 months they dont need night feeds, that is to say they might want it and i agree i couldnt refuse it, but if they didnt have it they wouldnt suffer iykwim?
Like if you wake up thirsty in the night it wouldnt actually dehydrate or harm you to not have a drink?
Lol sorry im not explaining myself properly but i do agree that the idea you just dont give it to them is ridiculous. I just dont always offer it as the first solution to night time wakes anymore, but its always on the menu if a sshh and a cuddle isnt enough
xxxx