Guilty ...

[Linz88]

i dont no y but the other day i was thinking and felt sooo guilty
children need there dads sooo much.. me not having mine around affected me alot.. i feel reli guilty, even though i didnt no things would turn out like this with fob.. he is sooo stubborn and inoo he wont be there for my baby.. and i wont let him if keeps lettin bub down.. i jus feel like its going to be a repeat of my life and ive always said i dont want that for my child xx

 

[lou_w34]

I dont no if anyone will agree with me, but i would rather have a father who is not around, compared to one who will keep making promises and breaking them... I dont think thats fair.

Then again as youve been through the situation, you may think differently

 

[Linz88]

lou i agree aswell.. because i kept seeing my dad then he'd stop.. n keep me waiting with my coat on.. and i defo would not want my child to go thru that

 

[bloodbinds]

Bella is better off without her sad excuse for a father to be honest xx

 

[expecting09]

There are 2 different ways to think about that. I agree with Lou, it's defo better having no dad there than a lousy excuse for one

 

[AppleBlossom]

Agree with the others. Also you shouldn't feel guilty, if he left you then it's his fault not yours

 

[nievesmama]

I agree with the other ladies. Its does children so much damage if their dads are lousy. My eldest has had severe emotional probs due to her Dad coming in and out of her life as he pleases x

 

[Singl3Daddy]

just had a long debate with the guys at the dads group this afternoon on why fathers go away or are not actively involved with their children...

some the arguments/answers i remember...

-its human/animal instint for males to reproduce and move on (i agree but also think love we all have power over it)

-

 

[AppleBlossom]

just had a long debate with the guys at the dads group this afternoon on why fathers go away or are not actively involved with their children...

some the arguments/answers i remember...

-its human/animal instint for males to reproduce and move on (i agree but also think love we all have power over it)

-

One word for that... BULLSH*T!

It is also animal instinct for a male to have more than one mate but I don't think many people would condone that in the human world either. Men that leave their kids or don't have any involvement with them are gutless selfish cowards (not all, most though) and there is NO excuse for that

That wasn't a personal attack on you by the way, just on that statement made at your group

 

[littlekitten8]

Hun you shouldn't feel guilty. I wasn't in the same situation as you but I think my son is better off without his dad. He was violent towards me and is now making no effort to come see him. I would rather he just buggered off than keep messing me and James around. It's not good for him to have a dad who randomly decides to visit and then not, and then visit...grr.

 

[teal]

You shouldn't feel guilty - you'll be more than enough for your little one

I agree that it would be better for him not to be around at all than to be in and out of the childs life whenever he felt like it xx

 

[DizzyMoo]

Hun, I'm in this situ too (hugs) I grew up with my dad only being there as & when he could be arsed or had nowt else to do. He didn't pay towards us or when he did it was a tenner a month for 3 of us!
I also vowed i would never put my kids in this situ but here i am, 2 gorgeous boys, Josh my oldest no longer sees his dad as he messed him bout & did some wrong things so i ended visitations, now i have Jax & his dad denied him from the word go so he can go jump off a cliff for all i care, BUT i do feel guilty that its my fault i chose to be with the 2 knobs but what i dont feel guilty for is telling them both to get stuffed i will not allow them to upset my boys i will not let them use them when they can be arsed they aint hurting my boys not a chance.

 

[aiimee12345]

hi, me n my bf going thru a ruff patch and i no he wont be there 4 the baby if we split up or he wil say he wil but not be!! i dont want my baby to ever be let down.. i no id rather him just not be there at all then break his promises and upset my baby even more x

 

[lou_w34]

just had a long debate with the guys at the dads group this afternoon on why fathers go away or are not actively involved with their children...

some the arguments/answers i remember...

-its human/animal instint for males to reproduce and move on (i agree but also think love we all have power over it)

-

One word for that... BULLSH*T!

It is also animal instinct for a male to have more than one mate but I don't think many people would condone that in the human world either. Men that leave their kids or don't have any involvement with them are gutless selfish cowards (not all, most though) and there is NO excuse for that

That wasn't a personal attack on you by the way, just on that statement made at your group

Its also animal instinct (for some animals) for the males to eat their children out of jealousy... i dont think that would be condoned in the human world either

But i agree, bullshit lol

xx

 

[MissEfendi]

Just because men are the biological fathers does not mean they are vital or important to the little ones. If they are not good role models, then the children are better off without them. I believe in children being bought up in a loving, healthy, safe environment and if that means minus their fathers so be it. I do not like the mentality that any father is better than no father, no, because a bad unreliable father causes stress upon the child. My dad was useless, and honestly, I wished I never had to see him because the relationship with him did not benefit me at all whereas my mum was great and always there and everything she did was out of geninue love and concern for us kids. So if these fathers are useless, there no reason to feel guilty, your kids are better off without them being around and damaging them mentally.

 

[purpledahlia]

Yup i agree, dont feel guilty its the guys problem. and if the fathers cant be good dads then its better their not around at all x

 

[sweetlullaby]

You should not feel guilty hun, I agree with a lot of what the other girls have said. It's the guy's problem he is the one that walked away on you type thing and pesonally I would rather have no involvment whatsoever from FOB than have a FOB that constantly swarms in and out of LO's life and upsets, stresses out and confuses my LO.

I dont like the mentality that having a father is better than no father either epecially if that said father is going to mess with your LO in the long run. A child needs a caring structured environment. The one image that always upsets me is a child standing staring out a window with their coat on with a really sad expression on their face because FOB is late again or hasnt showed up again. I will do my best to never let that happen to my LO.