Had 2 losses, still TTC #1, now BFP*?

[Oh_Clementine]

Brief history:

Been TTC for what seems like a million years (since 2012). I have PCOS, hubby is all fine. With the help of Femara, I got pregnant in 2015 and miscarried before 6 weeks, and then pregnant again in August last year, had a MMC at 8 weeks with a D&C.

This is our first cycle TTC again, and I'm maybe 10 or 11 DPO based off my OPKs and O pains. AF is not due for another 5 days or so, if my calculations are correct.

It's past midnight and I took a couple of IC from different batches and there is a very, very faint line on them. My previous pregnancies started off the same way.

I am trying not to get my hopes up because I've been burned by IC before, but... it's hard not to. I am incredibly scared, but also praying that this is it - this is real, and this is our take home baby.

Each time I've been pregnant, it's harder than the last because I have the previous experience that has left us devastated. How do you get through that, especially if there is no cause of what has gone wrong before?

I am having cramping, and I am scared.

 

[Nuthatch]

It is so hard to feel positive when you have faced such terrible losses in the past. For me, the only thing I can do is try to stay busy and when the anxiety sneaks in I address it and try to breathe through it. But really? After so many losses it isn't possible to not worry at all. Hang in there

Do you have pics of your tests? Maybe try a frer in the morning?

 

[Oh_Clementine]

It is so hard to feel positive when you have faced such terrible losses in the past. For me, the only thing I can do is try to stay busy and when the anxiety sneaks in I address it and try to breathe through it. But really? After so many losses it isn't possible to not worry at all. Hang in there

Do you have pics of your tests? Maybe try a frer in the morning?

Thanks

https://i67.tinypic.com/2vccigj.jpg
Not much to see in the pic, but there were definitely faint lines on both tests. The purple one more so, but the same happened with my last BFP - the green took longer to get a good line.

But... I did take a FRER this morning and there doesn't even seem to be a hint of a line, so that is very disappointing.

I don't know what to believe. Probably BFN, but I dunno. :/