Had a set back

[Jennifurball]

I was feeling ok about the split, it has after all been nearly 2 months but my friend is still friends with ex on facebook and she kindly informed me he is now back on there and bragging about being single. He never went on facebook when we were together, apart from another time we briefly split, so it's in my head now he is just doing it to find another girl, it really hurts me.

Even though I know he is a nasty abusive alcoholic, he is on the path to recovery now and I am pissed off because he will be 'fixed' for his new girl and he couldn't do it for me and our daughter. I feel sick thinking I am being replaced. I don't even love him, I just feel really hurt that I wasn't important enough for him to get help and now he is giving the new improved him to a bunch of random slappers and I am left bringing his baby up alone.

 

[whatwillbe]

Let him carry on Hun, he might be able to meet a new girl on there but if their in the right mind they'll see him for what he is, men like that can't keep a relationship going for long, especially being an alcoholic. And I know what you mean, my fob has bipolar and he wasn't well a lot of the time we were together, I put up with all his erratic abusive behaviour , even visited him while in the hospital, now he's better, he's got back with his ex , so basically I had him at his worst now she has him at his best, it makes me so mad ! But next time he's not well, she can put up with him, they are welcome to each other lol x

 

[Danie1stbaby]

hugs to you ~ i feel the same way,like wow you feel inspired by some whore and not me and your own daughter? my fob took a escort he's dating out on mother's day and didn't even say happy mothers day to me....my 1st mothers day and goes to church with her.

so when i say i understand,i do.just remember,he will not live happily ever after...especially after walking away from you and baby.karma is real and let him be another woman's problem.my fob physically abuses that other chick.she got what she asked for,stepping on the toes of a pregnant woman.now she is preggers and dont know the father but he is dumb enough to claim it.

when i respond to threads like this,i always throw in my situation.to let you ladies know,you are not the only one going through it or been through it.its not the end of the world,its the beginning...

 

[Jennifurball]

Thank you both so much. Sorry I haven't typed much back to your replies, I am about to fall asleep but I really appreciate your responses and sorry you have to go through the same awful feelings.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

It knocked me for six when I found out FOB was seeing someone else, even though I had moved on and been in a relationship since myself. It hurt me more that he wasn't honest about it (and to this day vehemently denies it - more than two years on and despite Lucas talking about her!). I've long since cut the line of communication and happily have no knowledge of what he does outside of visits (though sadly with my compulsive liar of a FOB, I have little knowledge of what goes on during either).
If I were you I'd politely ask the mutual friend for no further updates. You get the sweet end of the deal - no amount of shagging around will give his life meaning but you get to wake up everyday to your gorgeous LO, watch her grow and know his vulgar influence can't taint her.

 

[teal]

You deserve so much better

 

[Dezireey]

A mate of mine was in tears last week talking about her ex. They actually dated for 12 years! got engaged in the last year and she fell pregnant but didnt go through with it because he said he wasnt ready. Well, within about 6 months of them breaking up he has got engaged and his new girlfriend is having his baby! She is devastated and I can understand why. Its like she put her best years into being with him and spent all that time trying to get him to committ only for some other woman to have him now he has matured properly!. I told her its about compatibility, sometimes you have to accept that it has nothing to do with being a worse option for a man or that his new girlfriend is better or not, its just that he is more compatible personality wise etc with someone else. If your ex is an alcoholic, sadly that means he has an addictive personality. Okay, some people can get over this and make themselves better people but they can relapse at any time. I dont think any new woman will get the 'better' him. From what you have said, it appears that he has less admirable personality traits that he will always have and carry forward to the next relationship. e.g a man who is inordinately selfish will not suddenly have a personality transplant and now be an unselfish person with his new girlfriend. He may be on his best behaviour in the beginning, but as we women all know, that soon wears off!

 

[Jennifurball]

Oh god your poor friend, give her a hug from me.

You are right, he won't have a personality transplant. He is a sex mad, sexist, selfish, drunk perv. Even with me, his best behaviour didn't last long.