Has anyone TTC after losing a child?

[Maedaze810]

I guess I am just a mess this week. My baby would have been 6 months old on Thursday, but he passed in September instead. We tried for 2 years to get pregnant and did IUI with injections, etc.. Then I got pregnant, but it was a really hard pregnancy and I had to have an emergency c-section, etc... And he lived for 10 days and then he died.

I want another baby. I miss him so badly it hurts. My arms are empty and my heart has a giant hole in it. THis month was our first month TTC again and I have been a wreck. I posted some stuff in the TTC forum about how wonky things are, but I have been so anxious about a BFP that I can't hardly stand it. I can't sleep and I am so emotional.

How have some of you dealt with the loss of a child and then with TTC?

 

[truthbtold]

My situation was slighty different but I can imagine your pain. Its hard ....I think I cry every sunday that passes because I think of how many weeks Mckinley would have been. I know the anxious feeling of wanting to be pregnant again but each day I tell myself if I stress it definitely wont happen. Stress and depression can take a toll on your body and make it even harder to get that BFP. This is a great place to vent and find support so when days are tough dont hesitate to reach out.

 

[mummyk2b]

i'm so sorry to hear about your loss. haven't been through a loss like yours so i can't advise but i didn't want to read and run.

everyone on this forum is really supportive though... i hope that you find support on here as you ttc.

sending you lots of baby dust

xx

 

[Maedaze810]

Thanks Ladies... I am just really down today...

 

[puppycat]

Hey hun

I cannot imagine for a second how it feels to lose a child, I have a daughter and I don't want to think about life without her.

Please speak to your Dr about speaking to someone, I really think it would help to get out your feelings and find some peace, where possible.

Take some comfort in the knowledge that your beautiful baby will be surrounded by love and warmth up with the angels and will always be with you xxxx

 

[LoraLoo]

Hi hun, so very sorry for your loss

When we lost Eve, all I could think about was TTC. I desperately NEEDED another baby in my arms, I needed to smell my own baby, to kiss him/her, it was a physical pain in my heart.

It took us 10 months to concieve, mainly due to stress I think. I don't feel like I ever really 'bonded' with the baby during pregnancy. Well at leas I TRIED not to, because I was so scared. I also felt so guilty for Eve, and I couldn't imagine loving another baby any where near asmuch as Eve. It was a real conflict of emotions and I'll be honest it was such an awful, stressful and worrying time. Not the carefree pregnancy many mums have.

But then she arrivd and it made 9 months of hell all worth while. Of course I still worry and I'm very overprotective of her, I wont let anyone else look after her (shes 20 month now) but the happiness she has brought to us has been beyond my wildest expectations. She is not, and never will be a replacement for Eve, she's her little sister. Its hard knowing if we hadnt lost Eve we wouldnt have had Amy, but I love them both equally. I eel like I have a future now, iykwim.

Sorry or the lost post! Could spend all day writing about the emotions of TTC after a loss

Good Luck hun (((((((()))))))

 

[hollyw79]

Oh goodness- I haven't been through anything like that but I am soooo sorry for your loss. That has to be BEYOND hard.... I did go through the Clomid and IUI to get pregnant in january- so it was a process started in November- for January- to end a week ago. I feel like going through that WHOLE mess made it hurt for me that much more- we had to work so much harder and go through a ton of crap just to get the BFP and then to have it ripped away- devastating.

I know for me- trying to have faith and my spiritual point of views have helped TREMENDOUSLY.. I have to trust that (and I know this still SUCKS!) there is a reason and even though we can't ever understand that reason- one is there. I just want to give you a BIG HUG to try and make it better... just take one day at a time and there are a ton of sweet ladies on here to go through it with!!!

 

[Jox]

just want to offer my pregnancy came very quickly after my son died at 36 weeks.

Im so sorry for your loss of your baby

 

[babyhopes2010]

Oh im sooo sorry you have angel babies I just want to give you all a hug I cant imagine how hard it is for you. you are all in my prayers

 

[gueyilla1985]

first of all let me say im so sorry for your loss. Im going thru some what of the same thing i lost my baby about 7 months ago i have been trying for about 6 months i think its stress. i want to have a baby so bad but at the sametime i know im gonna be so overprotective. i feel like if i have another baby im betreaying my baby.