have i failed!!

[popular79]

It is that dummy question!!! My LO is soley BF but has a bottle of expressed breast milk at 10.30, initally he settling to sleep unaided following a feed - sleepy from the milk as little - but as he has got more able to stay awake after a feed he has found it increasingly difficult to get over to sleep!

i have a good routine in place and he does wind down well but then i dont like him getting upset so i gave him a dummy, stating to my self it will only be for sleeps !!!!! not to leave the cot!!!

it has been great he goes straight of to sleep and is now only waking for one feed during the night so the dummy was and in a way still is my friend - however he does have unsettled periods during the day, especially evening and no amount of cuddles will do the trick, i have at times given him his dummy which settles him well he just lays and sucks not going to sleep like he would in his cot nearly instantly SO ..........

i am torn as i want my boy to be happy but i dont want to use a dummy as a gobstopper - and in some ways feel i have failed in being about to comfort him myself during the day!!!!

 

[hasleved]

He settles with a dummy at times when breastfeeding doesn't settle him? There are times when breastfeeding doesn't work?

 

[Blondie]

Failure is a word that should never be used to describe yourself as a mum

Babies find the action of suckling comforting and like to do it even when not eating, if baby is happy with a dummy then there isn't really a problem - the problem with dummies is when people use them just to shut baby up and it prevents baby from telling you what it wants. If he is just happily lying then sucking his dummy then I see no problem with it Zara doesn't have a dummy but she learnt to suck her thumb at about 4/5weeks old and she will often lie sucking her thumb whilst watching the world go by.

 

[beancounter]

Finn rejected the dummy sometime around 3 months. I didn't think i was failing, I was happy It got me through those difficult few months. In fact, after the dummy came finger sucking- mine or his dads- and that was more disagreeable, though it too came to an end as he got older. Some babies just like to suck.

 

[gemsio]

dont worry at all my little one loves to suck, she always sucked her thumb on scans!i felt Its better to give her a dummy than feed her to satisfy her need to suck cause she would end up a fat baby. I always said i would never give her a dummy, that soon went out the window!

 

[Septie]

I totally get your worries! My LO is 6 mths old and breastfed. He has always been a major finger/hand sucker...We just recently introduced the dummy - on occasion - when he is noisy (not crying!) when I am on the phone or eating. To our surprise, he loves it, takes it in and out to examine it, and sometimes falls asleep with it (we don't give it for bedtime, though). He is now also of the age where he can find it again if it pops out. I was initially quite worried (about nipple confusion, among other things), but now look at it as just another "toy", and hope it will come in handy when I don't want him to suck his fingers (on public transportation or the playground etc. - yuck!) - that was the main reason we decided to finally introduce it after months of deliberating about it.

 

[Margie]

You're definitely not a failure!!!

Babies like to suck to calm themselves - that's what dummies are for. THere is nothing wrong with using one if nothing else works. Wish my LO would have one!

 

[sweetlullaby]

Your not a failure. My LO has a dummy that he takes sometimes when he's not hungry/ doesnt need his bum changed/ cuddles wont do it etc he just wants something to suck on for comfort lol and if he falls asleep with it in I take it straight out so he isnt comfort sucking it in his sleep and then begins relying on it at night if it falls out iykwim.

 

[JenStar1976]

Thumb or dummy - it doesn't really matter in my eyes. Although, it's easier to take a dummy away when they're older than to get them to stop sucking their thumb! x

 

[angelstardust]

It's only a dummy, it's not a drug laced, spiked instrument of torture!

If it settles him then don't feel guilty about it, there will be bigger and better things to feel guilty about at some point in his life.