Have to see consultant :(

[summer rain]

The home birth midwives have said that as I have been pregnant what they count as 6 times that means due to local policy I have to get my home birth cleared by the consultant, they said in the next area along from here they don't count it as having 6 babies unless you have 6 live healthy babies but in this area they count pregnancies that ended in miscarriage as well. I am really dreading it the midwives said they will attend the appointment too, to support me but I don't like to be bullied and I am worried the consultant will be a really anti homebirth one and try to talk me out of it and knowing myself I will probably get scared, back down and say ok fine I won't have a home birth.

I'm also a bit worried as my BMI isn't in the high risk zone but it was 29 pre pregnancy and probably 31-32 now so they may make a big deal of that as well. I'm also a bit miffed as the home birth midwives said I should have had the GTT to back up my case but now as I haven't because the community midwives and the hosoital midwife I saw at 16 weeks didn't feel I met the risk factors, and in this area its not pushed to have the GTT, the consultant will pick up on that also and potentially make an issue of it. Why does everything have to be so bloody complicated? xx

 

[lozzy21]

Remember though hun, you dont have to see the consultant and you dont have to have it cleared by them. Maybe remind them you know your rights and know at the end of the day their word means nothing.

 

[summer rain]

The home birth team said though that they will still attend a HB where the consultant says no anyway but one of the 'conditions' of them being allowed to have their specialist team and not have hbs be put back with the community midwives is that for certain risk factors they have to get the woman to agree to see the consultant first. I can understand it isn't really in their hands it seems it is power hungry muppets higher up who have forced this on them. They said there haven't been any cases where the consultant has said no and they have towed the line and gone along with this and there was a case where a lady was having her eleventh at home and the consultant begrudgingly oked it but still it seems like extra hassle and stress I don't really want xx

 

[xsadiex]

Good luck when you see the consultant! As some of your pregnancies were miscarriages maybe they will be lenient with you? Hope so xx

 

[summer rain]

Well one was a miscarriage and I had two suspected early pregnancies/chemicals but they don't count those as I never had a positive pregnancy test. It is a bit silly because as far as I read the national guidelines are that first trimester miscarriages do not count in this regard but the midwives said it seems every area make up their own guidelines on that. I know some make a fuss even with fifth pregnancies. It's just a bit galling to be told this late in the day about this xx

 

[summer rain]

I told my OH I am pretty much decided I am going to call the HB midwives tomorrow and tell them just forget it. I've had enough grief and guilt tripping from midwives doctors and so on before and I've had some really horrible things said to me that have brought me to tears and I just can't handle being undermined in that way again. When you're at this stage of pregnancy you already feel vulnerable enough to begin with, without anything extra piled on top OH is now really upset with me and thinks I am making a bit mistake and will regret cancelling this but to be honest I was never fully sold on the idea to begin with as my other home birth was the second worst birth experience out of the four. Just don't know what to do xx

 

[lozzy21]

I would not go, it's not like there are special tests the consultants can do, they just tell you everything that could go wrong with a home birth to scare you out of it.

 

[summer rain]

I am considering whether to just tell them to forget the home birth altogether, not the consultant appointment, the midwives seem pretty set on no consultant appointment=no home birth anyway. They said even if they only manage to make an appointment for me at 37+5 for example and I go into labour prior to that but still full term, they won't turn up and I will have to go to the birth centre. I know this isn't the case but they are being adamant. There are only two of them that attend home births (both of whom are on the same page) and then they call up a community midwife towards the end so no chance of getting a different midwife to come. The hospital did used to call on independent midwives but now they no longer offer this.

I just didn't feel terribly comfortable with that midwife and she also said some things about all my boys getting really badly jaundiced which pissed me off. Firstly she said that I mustn't have been feeding them properly in the first few days when aside from my eldest who did have feeding problems none of my others did and I fed them way more frequently than anyone else would. She then started saying it must be caused by a rare blood group factor incompatibility that cannot be tested for as my OH and I are both O+, even though as far as I know the Coombs' test checks for any type of antibody involvement even if its not a previously known factor. She then said it was impossible for their levels to rebound to as high as they were before after having phototherapy and being taken out of the lights, well this happened with both my boys who had phototherapy and looking at the medical research it isn't all that uncommon. My usual community midwife is a lot more open minded and supportive in general and realises that not everyone or every baby follows a textbook pattern. I just don't feel this midwife is like my community midwife and from how she describes her colleague she sounds even less supportive and more rigid in her thinking. She was saying if her colleague decides I need to have the GTT at this late stage then I will 'have' to have it, how about no? There is no point to having the GTT this late in pregnancy just to tick some boxes for them.

My OH calmed down and said whatever I decide he is happy with and if I don't feel comfortable with things or seeing the consultant then there is nothing wrong with the birth centre or if that isn't available, which we have been told is unlikely these days as they have pumped a lot more money into it, then the main labour ward which is a lot less clinical than others anyway. He said we will discuss it more in depth later xx

 

[lozzy21]

I think i would be wrighting a letter to the SOM saying your not happy with the atitudes of her staff and you do not want her attending your homebirth. They cant correct things if no one points out that are wrong in the first place.

 

[summer rain]

They also expect me to get another full blood count test even though I only had one less than 3 weeks ago (which was fine) just because their guidelines say that if having a homebirth you should have one at 36+ weeks, it just seems they lack common sense and are more into the clinical way of doing things than the hospital. Also been told I have to put all my heaters on full blast so the temperature is at least 25c despite it being May and the temperature probably being close to that anyway inside not to mention it not being advised to have the temperature more than 20c from what I have read elsewhere. They have this whole list of other things I have to provide for them on the day and they must all be in the same room, which I just wasn't asked to do last time; yet their paper also says the room cannot be cluttered?! Two of the things I need to provide are a desk and chair for paperwork and another coffee table or similar for them to put their resuss equipment on. The room where I wanted to give birth those two things are not going to fit, the only room they wil fit is the lounge/OH's office and for various reasons that wouldn't be my first choice of room as it just isn't homely at all and we don't even have a sofa at the minute. They said too that whenever the consultant appointment is, that it can't be changed despite my OH working nights and it just not being convenient to attend other than a very early or very late appointment.

I could well complain but I know midwives talk amongst each other and if they do begrudgingly agree to send different midwives they may resent someone complaining about their colleagues and come here with a face like thunder and a prejudiced attitude. So if I do complain it would probably be 'thanks a lot your staff put me off my homebirth completely' then they can do something about it for others. My kids and OH have a few other appointments coming up next week also, and the repairs team from my HA are coming to do some electrical repairs in the bathroom on Tuesday, and I know from past experience if you try to change a repair appointment they won't come again for months. So I have made the decision that if this consultant appointment clashes with one of those then the other appointments are more of a priority and I will just say to the midwives I will have to leave it and please refer me back to the community team ASAP xx

 

[summer rain]

Well they wasted no time in getting the consultant appointment sent, it arrived yesterday and was sent on the 2nd. Its not on a day we have anything on but it is mid-morning which is no good for OH, anyway I have made up my mind to just leave things as I have totally changed my plans. The post came in the mid afternoon so I will phone the home birth midwives on monday explain that I have changed my mind and offer them to come and pick up their home birth kit, not looking forward to that as I hate speaking on the phone and justifying myself (yes I know not that I need to) but ho hum. I think I just have to accept that home birth services in this part of London aren't great and perhaps aren't always the best or even the least medicalised option, and if I feel more comfortable with an alternative then no worries. I was speaking to my friend earlier and she said wherever I have my baby I can seize the experience and make it my own, even if on the off chance I end up in a consultant led unit, there are ways. So she has made me feel a lot more positive about everything xx

 

[MandaAnda]

I also suggest writing a letter to the supervisor of midwives, saying you have made the informed choice to decline xyz (whatever you choose to: consultant appointment, blood tests, etc.), and that you still expect their support when you call them to attend your home birth. Have you checked out the Home Birthers and Hopefuls website and fb page and group? x

 

[summer rain]

Thanks but I've decided now to go and stay at my in laws and have the baby at a birth centre near to them, of which there are two brand new ones with 8 delivery suites and various recovery rooms each, within a 4 mile radius. The birth centre which is near to me now only has 4 delivery suites, no recovery rooms and two midwives in it at any one time. In my in laws area a lot of women prefer the CLU and both birth centres only opened a few months back and haven't been that well publicised so I have heard they are very under utilised at the moment. I only have three weeks left and if I go by when my others actually came along that could be only a few days left to go, I just feel its too late and I don't want to be dealing with complaint letters etc at this stage nor do I particularly want midwives attending my birth who resent me and don't want to be there even if they are obliged to attend. Perhaps if I had the most wonderful experience with my other home birth I would have more fight in me but apart from the very end, my previous experience wasn't very good though looking back those midwives were like Mary Poppins compared to these ones. I have drafted my complaint letter but I will send it probably after I have the baby. At my in laws I can have my boys stay there too but I won't have to look after them, cook or clean for a few days so its a much better option for me. Another thing is I know the community midwives in that area are much nicer and less pushy than the ones around here, I was dreading the post birth visits around here as aside from my usual midwife the rest of the team are horrible, they don't support BF and they are extremely patronising. Also I will have my in laws to back me up xx

 

[MandaAnda]

The best place is where you feel safest and most relaxed. I'm glad you've found somewhere that fits the criteria. x

 

[superbecks]

I think i would be wrighting a letter to the SOM saying your not happy with the atitudes of her staff and you do not want her attending your homebirth. They cant correct things if no one points out that are wrong in the first place.

The midwives are not the Supervisor of midwives staff. She is there as a support to midwives and women.....she isn't their to police them. Just thought i would add that.

 

[lynnikins]

this is my sixth pregnancy and ive had to see the consultant due to my secondborn being close to 11lbs at birth and my post birth need for a transfusion ( not due to PPH ) after having him. it didnt worry them with ds3 and the consultant is happy to sign me off if i pass a GTT but they dont expect me to fail it as i just seem genectically build to have big babies lol not had a problem passing a GTT before either.
I know the outcome wont change my mind about having this baby at home but might be able to make the staff happier so i get confident MW's arriving when im in labour not ones who arent happy about crossing a consultant.

my MW said that they are more likely to give me a "growth scan" if they think baby is bigger than average because Im having a homebirth ( i know how inaccurate growth scans are btw ) so I might just get another chance to see bubba

 

[summer rain]

I would not have minded, or at least I would have minded less, having to see a consultant or having the GTT at 28 weeks-but this late in the day no I was not happy to have this all suddenly sprung on me. I have also never heard of someone being pressured to have the GTT this late either. I was told earlier in my pregnancy by my GP and two separate midwives I did not need the GTT and also all staff up until this home birth team considered me completely low risk. I wouldn't have minded an extra scan but this was not on offer at any point.

I have had very bad experiences with consultants in the past (with my eldest I was wrongly labelled as high risk simply because I had suffered with depression several years earlier), did not want to go there again and had I not been referred to the home birth team it would never have been suggested. In this area they just don't accept the possibility that some are just genetically predisposed to having large babies they keep insisting that I must've had GD with my son who was 9lb 12 despite there being nothing in these claims except his weight. My mum had two babies who were 9lb 13, one of which she had when she was a size 4 (US size 0) and her BMI was in the well underweight category and the other she was about a size 14 and not very overweight at all. Her second very big baby was the one home birth she had and it was her fifth baby. Aside from one midwife who refused to attend because she had no real experience of home births she had no other opposition whatsoever.

Next time, if there is one, I will be giving this hospital and all their staff a wide berth. Hopefully we will have moved by then, closer to a better hospital. I really get the feeling staff linked to this hospital resent those who are from outside the borough as I am, because they were 'forced' to take on loads of extra patients due to the shakeup of boundaries. I had problems earlier in my pregnancy making appointments as the reception staff just refused to make them for me. It seems other mums have had the same issues xx

 

[summer rain]

Anyway I'm coming round to the idea of having the baby in the CLU at my in laws' local hospital, because of having a terrible reputation in the past they have really bucked up their ideas dramatically and now they are getting highly praised left, right and centre. There are loads of glowing very recent reviews on the patient opinion site specifically about giving birth in the CLU. I have seen the 'birth centre' they just built there as my friend went on a tour and sent pics and aside from it having laminate flooring, little chairs and tables and the walls are painted a darker blue, there is no difference whatsoever to the CLU, even the beds are normal delivery beds with stirrups and everything. It doesn't have normal double beds, sofas or anything else you would expect. They do have birthing pools and balls and so on in the CLU (though I joked with OH maybe they nicked them for the birth centre) xx