Having a boy, but wanted a girl!

[Leikela]

I am just about 15 weeks pregnant and had the Materni21 test. We found out today that everything looks good and that we are having a boy! I already have a little girl and really wanted another princess. I cannot even begin to describe her and how amazing she is. I think in my mind, I wanted a carbon copy of her. I also wanted her to have a sister to relate with and play dress up with and to have when they are older and me and my husband are gone. Hubby and I had "her" name picked out--Alyssa May. That dream is now shattered.

After I got the call, I went to my desk at work and cried. I think I just needed to get it out though as I have been fine the rest of the day. I just needed to mourn the loss of my dream to have another baby girl. However, I see all the posts saying they love their little boys. No doubt I will love him but I also have the fears of, "Will I bond with him the same way?" "Will my daughter and him be close?" "What am I going to do with a boy?" LOL

Then part of me feels guilty. I should just be thankful for having a healthy baby, especially with being 38 years old. I know I will love him but I always imagined a house full of pretty dresses, bows and frills.

Reading on these boards have helped though. I am not alone in feeling this way and I know when he is born, I will regret ever feeling this way. I just needed an outlet to get all these emotions out! Thanks for reading!

 

[mod19]

Hey I'm with you. I cried for a few days after finding out we're having a girl. I too felt guilty and like I was a horrible person for not just being happy that I'm carrying a healthy baby. Especially after 3 emergency surgeries because babies previously were never in the right place. I keep secretely hoping when we go in this week for the 20 week scan they'll see boy parts, but I know it probably won't happen that way. Everyone keeps telling me how amazing little girls are, but I never pictured myself with girls. Always with two little boys. I think I'm like you, I was hoping for a carbon copy of my nephew who I absolutely adore. I just don't feel as close to my nieces.

 

[Dinah93]

I really struggled when we found out we were having a boy, like you I'd wanted a sister for my 'perfect' DD. She's funny, sweet, smart, boys are just noisy and covered in mud right? Except actually DD spends a lot of time covered in mud, she can never be quiet she always talks or sings about what she's doing, she's more active than any of her friends of either gender. I don't like typical boy things, and growing up I'd always wanted a sister. Add to it that our first baby was born 12 weeks early and boys don't do as well in nicu as girls, I kept saying I'd only get excited about a boy if I made it past 30 weeks. Well he was born at 29 weeks and broke all the nicu rules by doing so much better than his sister did, he stayed 62 days where she'd stayed 101 in hospital. And it got me to thinking, maybe all these other rules I had in my head about boy-girl stereotypes were complete tosh as well. Maybe my son would like rugby or football, which I hate, but maybe he'll like swimming, or reading, which I love. I didn't have issues bonding with him when I saw him the day after he was born, he was just my gorgeous baby. Up until he was born I can't say I really got excited like I did with DD, I was even a bit bratty about 'boring boy stuff'. I never imagined having a son, but his grins melt me just the same as his sisters do, whats between his legs doesn't define him and I'm looking forward to finding out what kind of character he will be.

 

[_jellybean_]

I have a little guy (and a girl as well). Had my son first. I have to say...I'm SO close to him. He's such a mommy's boy, and my lg is a daddy's girl. It's funny though b/c I always thought I'd connect more to a girl, but I'm very connected to my little man. I put him to bed each night (he's almost three) and we have little snack, read some stories, color or write together, etc. He tells me..."mommy, you're the most buuuuful girl in da world." They are still sort of a dream while they're still in your belly, but when you have a little one, you realize that they are their own person and you of course will love your little guy, and I bet that when you have him you and your family will be completely in love with him.

Yes--my lb loves boy toys, but he also loves to bake, read, etc., so I'm not always playing with trucks and trains. He wants a new pretend kitchen from Santa this year Congrats on your pregnancy/.

 

[MileyMamma]

I know exactly where your coming from! With my second baby inward desperate for another girl with the same reasons as you! I wanted my daughter to have a sister, now in being super greedy on wanting my third girl...

 

[Leikela]

Thank you so much for all your responses! You have all helped me to see that when my son is actually born, I will probably bond with him right away. His smile will melt my heart and I will realize he was meant to be. I am so close with my daughter now. She isn't Daddy's little girl, she's Mommy's little girl. I understand her when noone else does. I feel confident I will have that same bond with my son. And like Dinah said, we assume they will be into all boy stuff but he will probably love some of the same stuff that I do. And Jellybean, that is sooooo adorable how your son tells you are the most beautiful girl in the world! So sweet! Thanks to everyone for listening and for helping me to feel much better. I will post back here after he is born to probably gloat about how much I love him and how silly I was!

 

[JohnsPrincess]

My Entire Life I was sure I would have a girl. My Family was sure I'd have a girl. When hubby and I went for my scan and they said boy I was in Shock...and I cried. A boy!? What was I going to do with a boy? Well, he's almost 3 now and the absolute light of my life. I cannot imagine not having him!! My only issue is that boy clothes start to Suck at this age, lol.

We just started TTC #2 and again...I Really want a girl. But there's part of me that's not even sure I need another because I love my little dude so much! If we have another boy (which is likely because my hubby has 3 grown sons, too) will I cry at the scan? Probably, lol. But now I know that that momentary disappointment is normal and it's ok and it doesn't mean I'll love whatever we get either way!

 

[Zeri]

I have a 5 yr girl and wanted another, but had a boy. He 's 3 months now and sooo adorable! All of my disappointment faded when he was born.

 

[Leikela]

Thanks you for your responses JohnsPrincess and Zeri! I love to hear others stories. I know I will probably feel the same exact way once my son is born!

 

[BabyCleo]

Aww. I was the opposite of you!! I wanted a boy so bad that when I found out my little nugget was a "nuggette" it felt like a lie. I got over it pretty fast, and now I can't wait to meet her. I still want a boy one day but I actually surprised myself at how well I handled the disappointment.

 

[coz]

Ohh i think its amazing you will have one of each and can experience both boy and girl

 

[Leikela]

Ohh i think its amazing you will have one of each and can experience both boy and girl

Aw, thanks so much! I feel the same way now as well. I am blessed.