Having doubts

[reallytinyamy]

I'm starting to wonder if having a baby is a good idea. Don't know how we'll cope financially, I'm just about to lose my job, won't get another one now I'm pregnant but OH doesn't earn enough, no SMP or maternity benifits as far as I know , we are really going to struggle. Plus GP phoned today my bloods a last week were not good but they don't think they can give me the treatment I need due to the pregnency.

I'm gettingworried and scared that I can't do this. I'll never be able to care for a bay and with no money its going to be awful

 

[Vickie]

My mom always said that you find ways to make room for a baby and you find ways to pay for what they need. I truly believe she is right, you will find a way to make things work, you'll be surprised at how resourceful you can be.

 

[ColtonsMom]

I'm sure you could still get a job if you try soon. I was 10-12 weeks pregnant when I got my job, I just didn't tell them. It's not something you HAVE to tell them, and if they cannot tell themselves.. I worry about us financially, but we will overcome it, and actually that is the only thing I cried about when I found out I was pregnant.
I cannot really relate to your blood issue though, and I dont know anything about it. However, I hope things get better!

 

[anita665]

Hey, I went through the same when I first found out I was pregnant. It didn't help that DP changed his mind loads of times and kept wanting me to have a termination. I got really depressed and thought I'd changed my mind even though I've always wanted a baby.

DP quit his job when I was about 8 or 9 weeks and isn't working again yet and my job cut my hours down to nothing so I haven't worked in about 6 weeks. We are really struggling for money too. I'm looking for temporary work but it's hard to find and I know my chances aren't good. It's a horible feeling when dp was a high earner and between us we were doing really well and in a great position to have a baby and now we are struggling to cope and trying to claim benefits.

Still we're really happy now that we are having this baby and we know it will get better. I bet you will be too once it has properly sunk in. It just takes a bit of time to adjust to the big changes but no matter what you will have your baby at the end of it all and tha makes it worth it!!

 

[nikkybaby]

I still freak out from time to time about whether or not we will be able to support LO, but we will find a way, as will you. It is hard not to stress about, but just remember, when you are holding your LO in your arms for the first time, it will all be worth it.
I hope things get better for you.

 

[ElliesMum]

I worry too but i think if everybody waited until they were financially secure before having a baby, then not many of us would have one at all.

 

[ChefSara77]

We've always been told that if you "wait til you're ready" to have a baby, you'll *never* have a baby. We always thought that we'd have to wait til DH was out of grad school before having kids...but decided that we wanted to start earlier. DH is still in grad school (probably has another 2-3 years), and we're discovering that day care for the peanut will cost more than his stipend. I obviously can't quit working because I'm the only one with regular salary and benefits. But...somehow we'll make it work. And I think we all will. It won't be easy, but it will be *so* worth it!

 

[Michele1026]

I also been worrying like crazy, Afraid to tell my boss im self employed Nanny, So there is no time off there for Maternity im lucky if I get 2 weeks, my bills are also pilling up high , My fiance is working a terrible job and between his child support from kid #1 and his health insurance be is barly bringing anything in. Sometimes i got nuts too but im just hoping somehow someway it will all work out and if it dont we will go nuts together ! LOL
but yes this is the morst worried i have ever been !

 

[Jules]

Like Elliesmum said, if everyone waited until they thought they were financial ok then you would probably never get around to having a baby!!

We will be a lot worse off when the baby arrives as the SMP is less then a quarter of what i normally earn.

Someone i know who is pregnant was stressing over this matter the other day, she works full time so will receive SMP which is 112 per week (before tax). Her midwife was telling her she was entitled to this benefit and that benefit as she a single mum etc and then when she said she worked full time they said " oh no, you wont get any of that then"!! Her rent is £60 per week alone.

Sometimes you are better off claiming benefits then working! (thats not meant in offence to any working or on benefits, just if your a low earner, sometimes it works out your better off!)

xxx

 

[Stef]

Im sure it will work its self out. Go down to your local CAB for advice. They will be able to help you. Because you will be classed as low income im pretty sure social security benefits will be available to you also. X

 

[cparks1]

I too worry about money, I think everyone does because everything is so expensive these days. I didn't want kids when I met my husband, I just never saw my myself as a mom, even though I baby sat my nieces a lot and spent a lot of time with them. I just felt that kids weren't for me. After time had passed I told my husband that we could have 2 kids. I'm pregnant with my 1st and I too go through mixed emotions still to this day. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am carrying a precious gift from God and I know that in the end it will be worth it. I think we are all scared, we are only human. I hope that money matters get better for you. I look at things this way, God wouldn't give you something you couldn't handle. Keep the faith and everything will work out. Good luck to you.

 

[tinytoes]

hey remember - your hormones are making you panic.

So maybe things arent ideal, but it'll work out. BAbies dont need the most expensive things.I plan on getting most of our stuff second hand - simply because babies grow so quick that even second hand thigns will no doubt have only been worn a few weeks. And I can thoroughly clean everything!

You could have an abortion...but I'm pretty certain that isnt what you want?

I paniced a lot as soon as I knew I was pregnant...it's like suddenly it was REAL, no turning back, and that's a very scarey thing!!!!! But I learnt to not think about things too much when I'm tired - as that's my time for sheer panic!!!

You've months until you need to stop working so there's time to get something in the short term. As has been said - you don't HAVE to ^tell an employer you're pregnant until a certain time...is it 3 months before birth?? I'm not sure, there is an offical rule on it I THINK.

But really, plan the ways you can save and make things lovely for the baby without it being pricey.

 

[Rumpskin]

Hello

Sorry to hear your bad news.

It is good to share your worries with others. Do you have a family close at hand or a good friend who you could burden your worries onto?

Even though I have a job, I may be splitting with my OH and I am too worried about monies.

My parents have been angels and offered to take me in and help me out. There is always someone around to help you.

If this is something that you really want, try and be positive and I am sure things will be okay.

Good luck xx