Having other children at home during homebirth

[MadamRose]

Sorry I realise i have asked quite a few questions recently but i really want to be informed ready for my birth.

I have seen a few pictures of mums who have been homebirthing who have had other children at home with them at the time. My daughter will be close to 3 when this baby is born. And i was just looking for some information about it. I know if i birth at night i will keep my daughter in bed hopefully. In the day i was thinking of asking my sister to have her, but after seeing this i wanted to look into maybe keeping her at home. So it's not as long until she gets to see baby brother or sister. I will be birthing in a house that would allow her to walk between the room i will be in and another safetly without feeling she has to stay in one. I really just want some information about how children may react and, also if midwifes in the UK are happy to have children at home if you home birth

 

[Tacey]

I had a lot of options available when I had Arthur! As it turned out, I felt my first proper contraction as I brushed Alice's teeth, then laboured overnight and he was there to see her when she woke up at 4am!

I wanted the option of her being around. We watched LOTS of natural birth videos together, and talked about the different noises the women were making, how the blood was a normal part of it, and doesn't mean the baby is injured, what a placenta is etc. I went slowly and watched her reaction. She was fine, so I was happy to have her around for the birth.

I was aware though that in labour, having her there might restrict me, or hold me back, because my focus might be on her instead of the birth. I asked my MIL if she would be able to take her out at short notice if need be. I also had a doula and DH around, so thought one of them could be with her if necessary while we waited for MIL.

Like many things about birth, it's something you can't really plan for as it depends on timing and everyone's feelings at the time. As for midwives, mine were happy with Alice being around, but I'm sure there'd be some who wouldn't agree. If that's the case though, it's not really up to them! Also, I had a complication with the birth, and Arthur needed resuscitation. I don't think I would have wanted her in the room for the last bit, and would have needed someone on hand to get her away.

So yes, in short, my answer is to have as many options available to you as possible, and prepare your daughter as much as you can. Good luck!

 

[lynnikins]

I dont plan on making special plans for the boys to not be here during this homebirth. I will have MIL or a friend on call if they need to get taken out somewhere but hopefully since all my children have been born between 2-7am then they will all be tucked up in bed asleep hopefully. its likely they would stay downstairs watching a movie or something as I plan on having this baby upstairs in our room and DH could pop down to check on them periodically. I was home for both my mothers homebirths ( 11 yrs old at one 13 yrs old at the second ) and i just steered clear and let her get on with it.

 

[lynnikins]

For my last homebirth the boys were upstairs asleep and none the wiser till they woke up to find a baby sleeping next to mummy

 

[fionar]

My son will be almost 4 when his sibling arrives.

Our current plan is to send him to daycare as usual if it's not going hard 'n' heavy when it would normally be time for him to go to daycare. If he's home, my best friend (who he calls Auntie and ADORES) will be coming over (even if he's asleep, just in case he wakes up) to be his Person. She can answer questions if my husband or I are unable to, she can put a movie on for him/get him a snack/take him to the park or out to a movie... whatever HE needs.

Perfect world, it'll happen while he's at daycare and he comes home to a sibling (and we get time to take a nap and stuff without worrying about him), or it'll happen at night and my friend can just come sleep in our spare bedroom and be there in case he wakes up. Granted, that's probably not how it'll go down - just because it's what would be most convenient. ;-)

 

[Sam Pearson]

IME children just take it all in their stride. Mine did. My sister came to be their birth buddy and occupy them if needs be and also be with them in case I had to transfer but they didn't need her. We have some videos and new colour in books but they didn't need those either.

 

[aliss]

My son was same age, and I also had my sister to watch him. He was much more comfortable at home. He just stayed upstairs and watched cartoons with her (I went into labour at 11pm, he woke at 7am, so baby was born just before 10am). He ignored me. It was comforting to me to know he was home.

 

[LuckyD]

My LO will only be 25 months and I do worry about that as she is so young she might be a bit scared or worried or want me to comfort her....

My Mum will be here so can look after her if need be, but we have a very small house! So not sure about the noise factor. But I haven't spent a night away from my DD yet and I am still BF her, so would really love to have her around, for all of our sakes.

I was there for both my little brothers being born (I was 13 for one, 3.5 for the other) and it was a very positive experience. But yeah, I worry that as my LO is just that little bit younger she might freak out a bit.....

 

[ljo1984]

Imogen would have been there if I had not being transferred. I wanted her there, I don't scream or carry on in labour so know I wouldn't scare her. Now she loves watching obem if I'm watching it on 4od, and even asks me to put it on. I think it's healthy for her to see how babies come into the world and I defiantly want her there next time. She's my little mw . Obviously I'd like dd2 there too. It could be my last (if its another girl oh reckons no way to any more!! We'll see) so I just want at last my perfect birth, at home with my older babies there to welcome their new sibling.

 

[phoebemum]

I am very interested in the answers to this query!

I am in the middle of considering a home birth, due in May and my dd will be 3 in July so much the same as you.

I love the idea that she would be able to come as soon as possible to give me and baby a cuddle but I am petrified that she will want to be near me and get a bit scared.

I think my focus would be on her and it would distract me if she was in the house. I don't think I would give the pushing my full attention in case I was too loud.

I loved reading other's stories but I don't think I'm brave enough, she will no doubt go to grandparents but at least I know if I am at home and all goes well, then she can be brought back when I want instead of having to come to see mummy in hospital.

xxx


Good luck with your decision xxx

 

[fionar]

One thing we've been doing is watching (pre-screened by me) videos of home births on YouTube. He's really interested in it all, and we've explained that sometimes it hurts a little bit and mommy has to use ALL her muscles to help the baby come out and it's not always very fun. That way he knows that I might make noise (I'm a pretty quiet laborer, though, from the reports of my mom, husband, and midwives after my son's birth) and I might cry, but that's what it takes to help a baby come out sometimes.

So far it's all VERY interesting to him to the point where I'm almost worried he'll be disappointed if he's asleep or at daycare when it happens.

 

[murmur]

My son will be 22 months in May when I'm due and we plan on having him at home when I go into labour. At first we thought about asking my mum to come and look after him but we are now thinking we would like it to be just us (and midwives).

I think my son will be fine while I'm labour. It would be nice if it happened over night and slept through it and woke to meet his baby sister for the first time, but if I labour during the day and he's awake I still think we would cope fine.

 

[special_kala]

My girls will be at home with with us.

If it's during the day depending on the stage I'm at eithier my dh will be with them (i like to be left to get on with it) or someone will come over and keep a eye on them/take them to the park.

If River wants to be there I'm happy for her to be.

 

[rachiedata]

My DS will be 27 months and I'm thinking more and more about having him stay here with us. As another poster said ideally it will be overnight and he'll just wake up to his new sibling being there, or while he's at nursery so he's not away for any longer than he usually would be. Will have both my mother and MIL on call to come round and see to him, but hopefully they will stay out of the way! I would like it to be just us, but knowing how much attention he still needs particularly if he's in one of those toddler moods, I'm not sure either OH or I would be able to concentrate either on him or the birth 100% if we didn't have one of his adoring grandmothers to hand.