Having trouble deciding vbac or another c-section

[jessicasmum]

Hi

I'm still in the 2nd trimester so still got plenty of time to decide but I need to make a decision by 34 weeks if I want a vbac or another c-section.
I have had 3 stomach operations altogether, my gallbladder removed 6 years ago, my appendix removed 2 years ago while pregnant and a C-section 2 years in September.
I know there is risks on both sides. This is my 3rd pregnancy, my first I had a terrible birth experience, I gave birth vaginally but I had to have a episiotomy, used both ventouse which wasn't successful then forceps. I bled loads, was going in and out of consciousness. Once home I realised I had an infection and couldn't walk properly, so for weeks I needed help going the toilet, getting washed and dressed and couldn't really do much for baby so the bond became hard because hubby and my mum was doing the work for me. All of this trauma and stress made me not sleep, things got that bad that I was sectioned and only recently been confirmed I had puerpal psychosis. The bond never properly came with my first child and she's always been closer with her dad.
It took us many years of back and forth thinking over having another child but in 2013 we started trying. I got pregnant and after having an emergency appendix operation after having my 20 week scan (very scary) baby was fine but she was breach and seemed like quite a bit of fluid round her so we decided to go for a c-section. Operation was fine other than the epidural not working and I had to be put to sleep, baby needed a little bit of oxygen but we didn't see that. So baby fine and I had no complications, also I didn't get psychosis again so I was happier.
I had already decided if my mental health hadn't been affected with my 2nd I'd want a 3rd closer in age because the gap between my first 2 was 9 years. So we stared trying in march this year and fell pregnant at beginning of April. I was certain I wanted another c-section because things were better for me but then I had my first consultant appointment that I'm under through the antenatal department last month and she was telling me about the risks and that naturally is better and I'd have 90% chance of it being successful. So now I'm confused, been looking up about risks for both and it's a very scary thought, my husband wanted me to have a c-section because we said I can't go through what I did with my first. I really don't know what to do, I know repeated stomach operations aren't good and I might possibly need further stomach operations in the future because I'm being monitored for very rare cancer which can form from what they found in my appendix, I'll be monitored for years, I need to have 10 years of clear to say that's that.
I really want to be certain on my decision and not wait until the last minute and make a quick decision and regret it.

 

[jessicasmum]

Forgot to add I'm an obese woman and my 2nd child was a large baby at 9 pounds 8 and half ounces. I've heard that successful vbac is less likely being obese but also saw that c-sections can cause complications if your obese too, I think I leaning one way then just feel oh no this could happen and I'm back to square one of being so unsure, I know neither is without their possible problems.

I've also posted this on the 3rd trimester section.