Health concern

[emrhian91]

Hi,

So this is a hard post because I don't like to talk about it... But, when I was 13 till about 18/19 I had a really bad eating disorder, and I got diagnosed with anorexia and also Body Dysmorphic Disorder.
I'm 23, and my anorexia is mostly under control, but I still suffer from my body Dysmorphia, sometimes quite badly. My BDD isn't just to do with weight, it's body image in general, but weight is a massive part of it.

I have an appointment at my doctors today for pregnancy confirmation etc and I'm going to talk to him about it.

I'm just really worried about how I'll cope with weight gain, and my weight in general.. My BMI is lower than it should be because at 5'5 I'm only six and a half stone, so I'm worried about that and I'm worried about how I'm going to cope with weight gain mentally.

I feel so guilty that I'm worried, but I can't help it.
I've been really ill in the past and I'm worried because obviously now I'm pregnant..

This is just a rant I guess. I don't know I just wanted to talk about it somewhere but I was scared of getting judged.

 

[Ally2015]

emrhian91- i actually had anorexia for 6 years, i actually really do understand your concerns, but i am recovered now and my weight is normal. Ive already put a few pounds on, and can feel uncomfortable but i know later on in pregnancy it will be harder.

Do you want to chat in private message, might be easier?

 

[emrhian91]

I'm so glad that someone understands.
I just got your message, I'll reply

 

[anti]

Oh Hun, don't feel worried about talking about it. Talking helps. Speak to your doc and he might refer you for counselling. I'm glad someone has been through this and can pm you. I hope you get the help you need. Xxx

 

[emrhian91]

Oh Hun, don't feel worried about talking about it. Talking helps. Speak to your doc and he might refer you for counselling. I'm glad someone has been through this and can pm you. I hope you get the help you need. Xxx

Thank you.
Yeah I've had counselling before so I'd do it again if I had too

I'm worried about my current weight and being unhealthy during pregnancy

 

[Girly123]

Hun the fact you know what to look out for and your recognise it could be a problem and you want to act on it now before it is actually a problem is amazing and seriously you should be proud of that. Definitely keep talking about it and don't you dare feel embarrassed or like you can't. We all have our own problems in some way but to be strong enough to recognise and confront them is the best situation to be in as there is help there when/if you ever need it.

Good luck Hun and this way of thinking shows what an amazing and caring mum you will make despite everything else x

 

[GenYsuperlady]

I have been in recovery from anorexia 10 years but still have issues with my "mom body." I see my therapist, write in a journal, and try to remember that I am a soul who happens to have a body, not a body who happens to have a soul. Don't be ashamed, you are already being a great mum by talking to the doc!!!

 

[Lues]

I agree with previous posters that you have NOTHING to feel guilty about for worrying about that. If anyone judges you they have no idea what they're talking about. I have not experienced it personally, but have friends that have really struggled and worked hard to get through it.

My best friend struggled when we were younger, but had not had a problem since she was a teen. She got pregnant a few years ago (at about 30) and was quite worried. (Happy ending: She struggled with it occasionally, but did really well, and also lost all the weight within 6 months of giving birth and is back to her healthy weight)

People should be proud of you for acknowledging your concern. Anyone who doesn't is seriously ignorant of how reality works.

If you're a bit under weight, I'm sure your doctor can help you find certain methods to increase your calorie intake and gain the RIGHT weight as soon as possible. (not ice cream and potato chips obviously, so you can still be and FEEL healthy).

I also suggest seeing a therapist. If you're in the US, most insurance coverage includes at least a few visits a year, just so you can touch base with them along the way, instead of waiting until you possibly are struggling.

I think it's fantastic that you posted this. I am 100 percent sure that there are other people with similar concerns (some more than others) who will benefit from what you posted.

Side note: I can't IMAGINE that your doctor will, but if they even ever-so-slightly make you feel uncomfortable talking to them about it, UNQUESTIONABLY find a new doctor!

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I have to say kudos to you for having the willpower to overcome anorexia and to be concerned about it affecting your pregnancy. Also to be willing to admit that you've had it at one time. I'm sure a lot of girls had these same issues but were unwilling to talk about it. I was one who struggled with anorexia throughout my teenage years. Although I eat more than I did back then, I still have a hard time gaining weight.

I am 5'7" and only weigh 105-115 lbs. when I'm not pregnant so when I became pregnant for the first time, everyone nearly had a hard attack when they found out. I kept getting insults from people telling me that the baby will never make it or be low birth weight. Even my midwife was concerned. I made sure to keep eating throughout my pregnancy. I told myself I had to do this if not for me then for my child. In the end, I gained 57 lbs. of much needed weight. My DD was born almost 9 lbs. and is a healthy weight now as a toddler, still in the 70th percentile, so just because you're small doesn't mean your baby will be.

As to the post baby weight, I lost it all by 3 months. My stomach didn't look as pretty as it once did but I eventually learned to accept it. My scars faded over time and I did end up going back to a 2 piece. Once you become a mother, you lose all dignity you once had about other people seeing your body, especially if you birth in a hospital where there will be nurses coming and going. I actually became proud of my scars. It proved that I became a mother despite everyone being against me during my pregnancy.

The only issue I had was breastfeeding. I did it for a few months but then I couldn't keep up on the calories. As soon as my baby was born, my appetite waned and my midwife advised me to stop since I was losing too much weight. This doesn't mean that it will happen to you too since you did end up getting your anorexia under control.

Sorry this was a long post but I wanted to share with you my personal experience and to let you know that you can go on to have a healthy baby despite having dealt with anorexia.